What have I done to deserve this??

Question

I am unfortunate. The reason I say this is because I never felt this love/feeling for anyone until now. Its very late now. I am married, have kids and he is married, has kids. I don't know if his feelings are as deep as mine. He just seems to be flirting me just the way he flirts with the other women. He is 9-10 years older to me. I know him through work. He helps me sometimes, is real nice to me. I am not sure if he loves me. His financial situation is not pretty and mine is reasonable. Inspite of that I like him. I will give up anything to be with him.... only if he makes the move. He is not. Time is ticking. Really don't know what tomorrow holds. Whats holding him back? Is he playing games with me? What should I do. My husband is awesome but my heart is somewhere else.

Answer 1

Sounds like he's having a mid life crisis so he flirts with someone much younger just to see the response he gets. Don't fall for the crab. you better run right home to that awesome husband and be thankful for what you have. Just think you could have married someone like the flirt in the office. Remember the grass always looks greener over the septic tank.

Answer 2

...Sounds like you are about to have an affair and with a married man with kids? Sorry to tell you but you are headed for absolute destruction, get out now!!!
Learn to trust your instincts, if you are having doubts about him it's because you are probably 100% right. He's sounds like he just wants a good time! Work on your marriage and your relationship with your husband. You mentioned you have children and so does he? Don't be selfish and put your feelings before everybody else's! Think of all those around that you will hurt.. your kids, his kids your husband and his wife and even maybe yourself! Give your feelings and those of your husband's a fair chance to find each other spiritually again,seek counseling or whatever it takes!.. Time is Ticking? is there a Bomb? it's only ticking cause you want it to tick!

Answer 3

This will pass. I cannot believe what I see here, over and over. You act as if you are free to fall in love with other people, as if you were single! What gives with this act? You are married and have children, you say your husband is awesome....someday, you are going to love someone, hopefully be married to them, and they will do the same thing to you...what goes around comes around 10 fold! I want to hear you wailing about how wrong you have been done then, and I am sure we will hear about how dirty you have been done. Grow up, you are acting like a silly teenager! What is holding him back??? he hasn't done anything to make you think he even knows you are alive. You're not sure if he loves you!! YOu have a very active imagination...in fact, I think you just may be plain old nuts!

Answer 4

Throwing the baby out with the water are we!(I don't mean it to be nasty but to state a point.) You are in love with a fascade a fantasy of your minds making turning the slightest anything in to a full scale Bollywood production. Welcome to marriage and motherhood I am sorry that the honeymoon is way over for you or is it?

Bottom line: Talk to your husband and find time to reconnect with him before it really is too late. You are throwing everything out on the hunt for Mr. X co-worker and it's that excitement that you are putting everything into, maybe if you spent a little time hunting your husband it would add a spark or two and play semi hard to get hot and cold or maybe you long for your husband to be hot and cold toward you when you hunt him down.

Answer 5

I think u better take some time off of work and take a long look at what u have at home,great hubby,kids good credit standings,all that investment,and u want a older man with bad credit wife and kids!Wake up and smell the coffee woman.If u weren't there it would be probably someone else in ur place,getting my rift?

Answer 6

This guy is probably giving you some attention you are needing right now and that your husband is not, after you've been married a while you move through different stages. There will always be guys out there ready to take you to bed,, but they are not going to leave their wives and you are going to end up with a lot of regrets. Please try to add spice to your marriage and concentrate your thoughts on your husbands positives till you get through this stage...Best Wishes!!!

Answer 7

SLOW DOWN! He has kids, you have kids, you're both married. He has bad finances..........I've thrown up enough RED flags to scare most people off already, but you're determined. Is he worth losing your kids for? Your husband? Your home? Everything in this world that you hold dear and sacred? If you go through with this affair, you possibly could lose all the above......for a man????
I think not!

Answer 8

I know the feeling... best thing I can tell you is wait. Don't act on "hormones". There were times that I was so into someone and they seemed perfect, and after just waiting a little and comming back down to earth, they seemed nothing like the type of person I would want to be with.

Answer 9

oh my god , you described my relationship that I have now. we got together after 2 yrs knowing each other at work. but he did make the move and now we have been together for 2 yrs. and I'm starting to wonder if he really loves me. like you said, mine is also soooooooo nice and sweet to lots of girls. and he is also 9-10 yrs older than me, his finances won't so good and mine were o.k., he did ask me to marry him but every time i start to mention where and when he is to busy to talk about it.BELIEVE ME I FEEL FOR YOU, good luck and I just can't believe how similar our relationships are.

we both also have kids and he was married at the time but got a divorice and I was in a 13 yr. relationship that wasn't going any where.

Answer 10

I'll tell you exactly what you need to do. Go get a haircut, buy a new dress and shoes, maybe even some new perfume. When you get looking your best go rent the nicest car you can find. get in it and drive it off of the nearest cliff! This will cause your husband and children far less pain than your current plan.