I enjoy grilling wieners in the nude. Is this odd?

Question

I can cook burgers and steaks fully clothed, but for some reason when the hot dogs and brats hover over the coals I get naked.

Answer 1

it's the american way.

Answer 2

You should probably keep a kiddie pool filled with cream corn near by when grilling in the nude.

Answer 3

Yes

Answer 4

By all standards: yes it is odd--however, if you got a privacy fence around your property and the neighbors cannot see you you'll be spared the fact that it can be embarrassing when someone calls the cops:0

Answer 5

Naw, it's normal. Invite some of your buddies over so you can all get naked and have one big weiner roast. Grill everything

Answer 6

That's really interesting. On a somewhat related topic, I knew a guy who burnt off his nipple by making bacon in the nude. Seriously.

Answer 7

Right after marshmallows, most people learn how to cremate a wiener. The kid who has never burned a hot dog on a little fire outdoors is truly deprived. Hot dogs have the exceptional characteristic that no matter how bad, or how burned or how gritty, one is always good to a kid. God knew what he was doing when he put hunger amongst us.

Hot dogs are reputed the item most often cooked on a grill. Somewhere around four billion pounds are consumed each year raw, boiled or roasted. Those of us in the know, realize that those cooked on a grill aren't actually roasted, they are more likely broiled - and most likely burned.

Because they are so popular, I thought hot dogs deserved a decent dissertation. So I went down to the local commissary and checked out the offerings. Nothing is as simple as it used to be.

In addition to the traditional weenie of ground up pork and beef parts, there are a lot of strangers. Chicken, turkey and soybeans have joined the crowd, along with the beef people's representatives. In the interests of science, I got one of each. All except the soybean, that is. As far as I know, I eat soy beans in tofu and soy sauce - with emphasis on the soy sauce.

Since my fondest memories of hot dogs are associated with baseball games, where weenies were generally steamed or boiled. Therefore, as a bench mark, I ran the first batch through boiled. My all-time favorite hot dog is a fat weenie, generously slathered with mustard, chopped onions and sauerkraut and bedded down in a bun that stays together long enough to be consumed. This fond flavor was developed in the years when every town with more than two barber shops had a semi-pro baseball team that played on Thursday and Sunday afternoons. That hot dog remains the all-time best fifteen cent bargain. A nickel drink still left enough money from a quarter for a bag of peanuts. (That was after I had walked six miles, each way, to school - through the snow.)

With my benchmark newly polished on the palate, I carefully marked cryptic identification on each variety and invited some friends with sons of immense appetites and indiscriminate palates. I told the parents that I was grilling steaks, waiting until they arrived to clarify that they were "tube steaks".

As a matter of pure research, I also tested a theory that had come to me in the wee hours of the morning - whence come brilliant thoughts that need to be quickly written down and captured before they escape forever. With the weight of weenie wonders weighing heavily, I had for some weeks entertained the idea of simmering weenies in one of my legendary basting sauces, before putting it on the grill, thereby transforming this close cousin to a road kill into an elegant example of gastronomic ecstasy. Had I not properly fortified myself I would, no doubt, have trembled in anticipation.

But, alas, another bolt of bedtime brilliance bit the boards. Smoky's First Law of Weenies is, "It is easier to grow pearls inside hickory nuts than to change the taste of weenies."

Not one to falter in the face of foul fortune, I prepared a superb assortment of green woods for subtle flavoring on the grill. Presenting statistically valid samples to carefully controlled conditions, I grilled each lot to perfection. True to tradition, I properly burned some. When done, I cut each weenie in half, to allow precise testing on a properly primed palate.

The results of the tests were clear and decisive. Those who like hot dogs, liked them. Smoky's Second Law of Weenies is, "It is easier to grow pearls inside hickory nuts than to change the taste of weenies."

The all-beef and the all-turkey varieties got highest marks. Price and promotion proved irrelevant. Everybody was surprised by the variety. Proving the theory that most people just take a bite of whatever is in their hand and keep on talking.

In summary, hot dogs are still a viable victual that most kids and many adults enjoy. They are quick, easy and nutritious. Don't try to improve them.

Keep the temperature lower than for normal broiling. If you drop the temperature to around 300 degrees, have patience and a sturdy grill, you can let the kids do their own. Allow a few extra for the dogs, dirt and burnt offerings. Afterwards, stir up the coals, add more charcoal and relax until the grill is ready to cook whatever you intend to eat.

Don't forget to have a good time.

Philosophically, weenies aren't quite as good as I remembered nor nearly as bad as I expected. Gastronomically, they are not likely to change

Answer 8

Just make sure you grill the right weiners!

Answer 9

I may be going out on a limb with this, but I'm going to say 'yes'.

Answer 10

Nope, you are perfectly normal. My guess is that you live in the suburbs and your name is Norman.

Answer 11

As long as I am not there,more power to you!!!