Boyfriend has secret email accounts...continued?

Question

I don't know how to ask follow-up questions to all of your good resposes, so I'm posting again. ...problem is, I found out that he still has this other email address because I was snooping, so it's hard to confront him about it. Basically, I looked in his regular email account, and saw a delivery failure notification and saw that he was forwarding a link to this email account that I didn't know about. He had a typo in the address, so it got bounced back to him, and that's why I saw it. I know, it's psycho for me to be spying on his email, but it's the only way I feel like I can know the truth. I've had two big talks with him about this in the past, and he knows how much it hurts me. I just can't figure out if I'm over-reacting and am being too controlling, or if he's a jerk. I think what bothers me the most is that he hides it from me. I guess he feels like he has to since I've been upset about it in the past. Is it normal for men to hide these things from their girlfriend/wife?

Answer 1

Listen! I'm a guy. It's probably nothing. You need to understand that each of you have a life together but also seperate.
If he isn't showing any obvious signs of cheating, you need to get over your insecurity and let him have his privacy.

Answer 2

Yes everyone has secrets but if you have talked to him about this before and he still has to hide it then something is wrong there. if he knows it hurts you why does he continue to do it? i know its hard to confrnt the guy i have been in that situation. but i don't think its normal for people to hide this stuff. i know its not the most sain or classic way of doing things but i noticed i can say a lot after i have had a few drinks, throw a few in him too and see what he opens up to. if that won't work and you know some really personal information about him find out the email address and change the password. then say that the computer must have done it (i know if its yahoo they change passwords frequently they told me that). good luck there are prince charmings out there i found mine!!!

Answer 3

He is a jerk. Why does he feel he has to hide things. There is something going on and you deserve answers. If it was the other way around he would want to confront you so why don't you confront him about it, or better yet keep snooping to you figure out what the problem is

Answer 4

It isn't normal. I always believe that if they are hiding small things, there are larger things hidden under those. You may reconsider this relationship and go your own way. I would never put up with dishonesty from anyone in my life no matter how big or small. Even my kids know better than to lie to me because telling the truth is so much easier than me finding out they lied down the road.

Answer 5

If he really cares about you, he wouldn't feel that he would have to hide this kind of info for you. I feel bad that this is happening because it's making you nutty and he probably is pretty annoyed too. If this kind of stuff keeps going on, you guys probably will end up splitting up. Lying and misleading is not a good part of a relationship, anyone who feels that they have to keep secrets from their loved one, really feels that you can't be trusted. It would definitely hurt my feelings. Some men do repressed things because they don't know how to open up to women, it's not being macho, you know. Second, being too dramatic and overbearing is not good on your part either. Although he shouldn't be lying to you, accusing him of being deceitful and dishonest is going to make him feel that you don't respect him either. Overall, you have to meet each other half way, to be open with each other. It might be a slow process, but you guys can make it work, show each other how much you admire and appreciate the other and the tension will ease up. Once you know that you can be understanding and accepting of each other choices, it won't be so bad down the line to communicate with each other on personal levels. Just be fair to one another, and try to cope with understanding each other's emotions.

Answer 6

why is this soo hard? if you cant trust him why be there?
relationships are built on trust
if he's hiding that what else is he hiding?
of course like most woman you will come to his defence and find someway to deny what you know is true
and you will get hurt
and then for some strange reason even though u had warning you will blame the man and not yourself for being dumb and staying with someone you didnt trust to begin with, so when you find out hes cheating on u plz dont bring it here as i dont want to see yet another woman blame thier relatioship problems on a guy when they could have just looked at the early warning signnals to begin with
good day to u madam

Answer 7

It is ok. Sometimes people need to talk to someone else, besides his/her partners, about problems and to ask for opinions and relationship stuff. Dude above is right, everyone has secrets. But don't be paranoid that he is talking to someone else. Hopefully, he is not communicating to another girl or the worst case scenario, a Brokeback Mountain kind of guy.

Answer 8

I think when you go looking for something, you should be prepared to find something. If you full trusted him, you wouldn't still be snooping. Perhaps you need to talk to your boyfriend about it and then tell him how you feel. If you want this relationship to continue and for it to be healthy you have to trust him and he's has to stop hiding things from you.

Answer 9

oh yea the object behind having a secret is not having anyone find out about it and because you dont think you will get busted you never think of a way out until you are then it all seems like a lie. whats kept in the dart always finds it way into the light...

Answer 10

Get rid of him. You do not want to end up with someone who is not honest. He is lying and sneaking around you should not trust him. It will be hard, but you should dump him and never speak to him again. There are a lot of guys out there that would treat you better than that.