When is enough enough? I've caught my husband "cheating" via email with a HS ex, has multiple female "friends

Question

has issues with drinking, although it is "my problem", feels like I'm making this all about me, and doesn't feel like anything he has done is that bad. By the way, we have a child.

Answer 1

Think about what your child is seeing. That is the most important thing. What a child is exposed to at home can frequently help shape what goes on it that child's adult life. If there is drinking, and cheating, please get your child out of that environment. Remember, your husband is cheating on your kid too.

Any husband interested in working things out will discuss problems rationally. If it's not working, get out. Even a trial separation is better than living is a home where someone is not interested in being part of the family. Your child will respect you for the decision, because it shows you respect yourself. It won't be easy, but you need to do what is right for your child.

Answer 2

If he's cheated only through e-mail it doesn't mean that he wouldn't take it to the next level.As for him having many female friends,most men have lots of female friends which is normal.But when your husband is e-mailing an ex in the way he is then it may not be a normal thing at all.My advice to you is if it's bothering you then you need to leave him "Period".You don't deserve that and he doesn't deserve you.You didn't say how old your child is,but no matter how old he/she is children can sense things.Your child will sense your fear,anger,stress,sadness, everything your feeling.There is no good reason to stay with him,but there are many good reasons to leave him.Don't stay with him only because you have a child together,trust me it'll do more harm then good when it comes to that child.
He's the one with the issues,by making you feel like there yours and not his makes him feel better about it all.Do Not allow him to do that to you.Keep your feet firmly planted to the ground and do what you feel in your heart you should do.You can hear and read all the comments you want till you just can't take it anymore,what you really need to do is listen to what your inner soul is telling you to do.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

What really matters is what YOU feel about it. If you want to raise your child in an environment of infidelity, and unhappiness, expect that to carry through in your child.

Children see what is going on in a relationship, and that includes young children. There is Rarely a good reason to stay together for the Kids. It is a cop out, that comes from fear of the unknown, hence, a separation or divorce.

In my opinion, if he is not willing to be a dedicated husband and father, and you are not willing to accept his "antics", the only solution is a separation. If a separation doesn't open his mind to what he is missing, then divorce is best in the long run.

You can work toward replacing a bad man with a good one , hopefully.

Good luck.

Answer 4

hun if your husband has a drinking problem then your child dont need to see this going on and why in the hell would you stick in a marriage with a man who dont care about you or your child by screwing around on you

what kind of woman are you staying in a relationship with a cheating man all you are doing is saying it is ok by staying in it

get out now and take your child to safety so they wont have to see all the arguments and drinking going on

think more of yourself then what you are right
get out now
you do deserve better and so does your child

Answer 5

You really need to think about your child, you are on the right track, none of these things are normal for a marriage,but can raise your child alone and do better than this, your child doesnt need to grow up seeing this type of behavior, find a way to get out!

Answer 6

Cheating is cheating!!!!! My best friend has done the same thing behind his wifes back for years.He was dumped by his one true love,she was his first sexual relationship and worship the ground she walked on.Since then he has treated women like crap.He looks on the net for women to chat to,has his name in personals sites and and has an advert on yahoo groups for and older women to have sex with him.Whether you text,e-mail,meet,kiss,web cam another person when you are married or commited to them its still cheating in my eyes and I don't like what he's doing but he's my friend and I can't change him although I don't agree with the way he is acting.I think you should leave him if its affecting you relationship,do it for your child and let him get some help......

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your husband but even worse...sorry you are going thru this difficult time. I would say that you deserve better and that this is completely intolerable. Be good to yourself ! You need to leave because it will only get worse. You don't want to go on another year or 5 yrs and look back with regret. I know it will be hard but your current situation is alot harder. Don't let him disrespect you !

Answer 8

You tell me when enough is enough. I would have been long gone after the first episode of cheating....and the child would be going with me!

Answer 9

Well either he gets help with his drinking, and you go to marriage counselling, or if he's not prepared to make the effort he doesn't love you and you should go your seperate ways. If he takes your child out make sure he hasn't been drinking.

Answer 10

a child should make you want ot stay with this guy, he is a loser. you are letting him do it by staying with him. he will only keep doing this and wont quit, just cuz you have a child doesnt mean you have to stay with him. i think your kids would want his mom to be happy not with a loser that cheats on his mom. he thinks nothing is wrong , so is it ok for you to do that? no!! then why is ok for him to do it. he still wants his ex let him have her, he is not worth it and you deserve better.good luck