how do i tell him i want to keep the baby???

Question

im 18 and pregnant we thought i was 10 weeks but turns out 2 b 12 weeks, i considered abortion as my bf didnot want the baby an wud leave me if i had it talking 2 a counsellor 2day (7th june) i realised that i wanted the baby more than anything in the world especially as i was told i may not b able 2 hav kids cuz of my blood disorder now the only thing is telling my boyfriend that i chose the baby over him i cant bring myself 2 do it i love him so much yet hate him 4 makin me choose between the baby and him we have been together a year and although it hasnt always been brill (but then what relationship has?) i dont regret any bit of it and ive loved spending time with him for 7 months of that year we had our own first home together i have known for 1 week and 1 day im pregnant an hoped he would come round 2 the idea but he isnt, he is ded set on not having it im just finding it really hard to tell him its over between us to me its been the best year of my life and ill miss him so much

Answer 1

You are young but listen...no one should ever make you chose between the baby and the guy. Sounds like he is not ready to be mature enough to handle responsibilities. Keep the baby and move on or if you decide to stay with him and he wants no part of the baby then consider giving it up adoption. Its not fair to this baby he/she deserves a happy home where someone will love and pamper him for the rest of his life. And, maybe even you will find a man that will love you and your baby unconditionally........

Answer 2

I think you made a smart decision to keep the baby. I was 19 when I got pregnant, and didn't consider abortion, because I think it's wrong, but did think about adoption. But after having my son, who just turned 3 on May 30, I wouldn't trade my son for anything. Nothing in the world can mean so much when they first look up to you and call you mommy.

As for telling the boyfriend that you are keeping the baby, I would simply explain to him that you do love him, but you hate him for putting you in the situation of choosing between him or the baby. Tell him that you are keeping the baby, and that you will do this with or with him, but you would really like it if he would be there, if not for you, then for the baby.

The baby is the innocent one in all of this, and he is the one that has to be considered. He didn't ask to be brought into this world, and when you do bring him, it is your responsibility to take care of him to the best of you ability. And that goes for you and the father. And if the father doesn't want to be a daddy to the baby, then yes, I would go after support. Because if you let him off with this baby, he will just do the same thing again and again with the next girl.

I hope this helps, and really hope it didn't come off as being too preachy.

Congratulations and I hope everything works out for you and the baby!

Answer 3

I'm 28 when my b/f found out i was pregnant he was very UNHAPPY. He is 34 no kids never wanted any. I told him he did not have to stay with me. I told him with or without him this baby would be born. I love him more then anything but, I never even thought of getting rid of MY baby to please him. He came around broke down and cried that he wanted this relationship no matter what. Being alone and pregnant can't be fun. Blood is blood and long after that guy may leave your child will ALWAYS be yours. HE IS slefish and may not be ready to be A father. Don't YOU DARE let him cause you to make a choice you will always regret. YOU CAN look into adoption if you are not able to do this alone. No man has a right to force a women to give up or abort her child. You are selfish if you choose a man over your own child unborn or born. You don't have to keep a child you DON'T want but, don't kill one because it's what he WANTS you to do. LEAVE him you'll never regret that. Get rid of your own fleash it will haunt you forever.

Answer 4

Wow ignorance is soaring today. First off he should have thought about that before he got you pregnant. You should have as well. Whether or not you have a blood disorder there is always a possibility. Whats wrong with you letting a guy run your life. Love only goes so far. Then it just leaves common sense. God blessed you with a child. If you have a blood disease that might prevent you from getting pregnant ever again.. MAYBE this a blessing. You should be happy. Not worrying about some BOY who cant take care of his own.

Answer 5

First of all, he doesn't love you if he is trying to make you give up your child, better yet, abort the child. You have to do what you feel is right for you, if you love your unborn child, then that is the only necessary decision you need to oblige by. Don't let him manipulate you into getting rid of your child because he is being selfish. I know sometimes there are times when people are going through tough times and really don't think that they are financially stable enough for having kids. Although you might feel that you are not ready, you have to make that decision before you let someone else make it for you, including your mate. I know you love him and respect him as your boyfriend, but don't let him make you feel bad for being true to yourself. Also, if you let him make you do something that you don't want to do now, down the line he'll probably try to make you abort future pregnancies and it could be something that you regret for the rest of your life. You even said it yourself, you don't know if you will ever have the chance again. Just be careful in what you do decide to do.

Answer 6

I feel for you. If you want the baby keep it. You can always get a new boyfriend. You will end up hating him anyway if you feel strongly about the baby. When you have the baby you will love it so much he want matter anymore it that's the way he feels. The baby will be the best thing of your life for all your life. It will love you forever. He is making you choose. But really he is giving you no choice since you want the baby. You already know what you need to do. It want be easy when you want and need his support. But women make it through this all the time. So will you. I will pray for you. Do what is right for you.

Answer 7

hi i kind of went threw the same thing when i was 17 now i'm 20 with the most wonderful little boy in the whole world. I to had to chose but if someone gives you this choice they don't love you at all. This child will be the greatest thing in your life. I'm now married to a wonderful man who loves my son just as if he were his. Good luck telling him but i promise you won't regret it. If he does have an anger problem i would be sure to tell him around someone not alone because some men will go to extremes to not have a baby. He may not be like that but just in case. Good luck with your new baby!

Answer 8

If you want the baby then have it, you don't need a "man" to raise a baby. But you will need support and love, forget about that lame boyfriend of you and talk to your family and friends, start searching for women-support groups and find a way to make money for you and the baby. Stop thinking as a child going around with stupid doubts because that makes me think you care more about your relationship than the baby you claim to want so much. Be an ADULT, be responsible.

Answer 9

I had the same problem, only it was my boyfriend's father that didn't want me to have the baby. I simply told him to think what he wanted to think, but it's my body and it's my choice. Once I stood up to him and told him the way it was going to be he totally respected my decison. Here I am almost 11 years later with a great husband, a wonderful father-in-law and the most beautiful set of twin daughters you can imagine!

It can be tough to lose a partner, but if he is that much of a wimp then he may not make a great dad anyway.

Answer 10

You have to do what's right for you because you're the one that has to live with your decision. Something to think about....if you have the abortion and then down the road you two break up for whatever reason you've given up a child that you really wanted. In the perfect world children should not be conceived until both people want them because this kind of stuff happens.