Wait to get married...?

Question

I have a friend who was sexually abused/raped by her mother's boyfriend from the time she was 15. It only stopped when she was 16, after she got pregnant. She told me and told her mother after she had been to a clinic. Her mother refused to believe that the boyfriend had done anything and called my friend a liar. She moved into my house (her father died years before and she was very close with my family) and gave birth to her son right before she turned 17. Her and her son live in our house and we are like sisters. She started going out with my brother when she was pregnant and they are still together. He is great with the baby and they both love each other. My brother is almost 19 and my friend is 17 and a half. Do you think there is any reason they should not get married right after she graduates? She wants my brother to be the babies father. I am very happy for them both, but are there any reasons they should wait?

Answer 1

Unless they are not financially able to take care of their family by themselves, then I don't see any reason why they should.
It is their decision.

Answer 2

I can think of a lot of good reasons why they should wait.
First of all, this is probably the first real family unit that she has been in. She needs to go through intensive therapy over what she has been through and while they are waiting would be a great time to do so. They could have her do individual therapy and then go to couple counseling to see if they are really meant to be together.

Answer 3

I think they should definitley wait. They are way to young to commit right now. He should wait til she is at least 18 and has she seen a counselor or therapist for her past? If not she could easily bring the baggage and pain into the marriage with her. I was abused sexually as a child and was married at 18 and young and i brought all the pain and hurt into my marriage and it was not a good marriage and i had not been to counseling or help for it. I hated being intimate with him in any way and our marriage fell apart! Make sure she gets help and counseling for her past and that she heals from the pain before marrying. This is the best way!

Answer 4

I think she is lucky to have a good friend like you and even luckier to have met your brother. My concern would be that they are still very young and circumstances have thrown them together. It maybe that your brother or even your friend might feel quite differently about each other in a year or two. If they want o be together then fair enough but they don;t need to marry or have other children right away.

Answer 5

Age is just a number.

If age guaranteed wisdom, there wouldn't be any ignorant adults.

I suggest comparing personalities, like the classes churches have for people who are going to get married..... I have a friend that did all that and seems like they learned allot about each other and are better prepared for marriage's challenges.

Answer 6

I do not see why not if they are mature about the situation and can afford to be on there own then go for it! Or if they can pay a little bit of rent to your parents to show some responibility to the parnets that would be good to. I think they should further there education though.

Answer 7

That is pretty young to get married, but it's pretty young to be a parent, too, so maybe they should just do it.

The first thing she needs to do, either way, is to go to court, force a paternity test, and get that scumbag to pay child support (and possibly do some time for statutory rape while he's at it).

Answer 8

no.