I was in a bad mood yesterday and said some very hurtful things last night to my much older boyfriend of 1 year. I mean, things that would offend him to the CORE... So, of course, he said somethings back about my decisions and how I live (he doesn't think I would be a good mother" etc... ???).
Do I apologize since I started it?? Or since he said equally mean things, do I just sit back and wait for him to call??
2006-06-07 09:36:06 · 20 answers · asked by Sienna Baker 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It was more of a PERSONALITY BASHING session than an "argument"... Agh, the things we say when we're mad...
2006-06-07 10:47:11 · update #1
You broke it....you buy it! It is you who's supposed to apologize to him, not him to you. He just acted defensively against you, cause I can imagine what kind of things you said to him.
You go to him to reconcile, and he will say "sorry" to you too for hitting you back. Just don't expect too much from him...cause is you who made the damage....not him...he just tried to cover himself. If he doesn't forgive you...move on.
Next time...watch out for what you say.
2006-06-07 09:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Mstislav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me first start by saying that i have been here and done that. This is kind of a hard decision because of the fact that it all depends on how you feel. If you feel that you were wrong and that you should apologize I would go ahead and apologize. He will most likely apologize as well. Just make sure you are ready to forgive and forget about what was said, because you don't want to stay angry at him for something that you guys are resolving. I hope this helps!
2006-06-07 09:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize. If he does not say he is sorry too, I guess you can figure that he meant what he said. If that be the case, you have to consider whether you want to be with someone that thinks you would make a lousy mother. If he cannot say he is sorry because he is a proud kind of guy, that is not good either. Bottom line: You should both apologize to each other. Just don't try to make him apologize. Those kind of apologies are never really sincere.
2006-06-18 22:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by WebAnt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you do. If you are thinking that now and he's thinking the same thing do you think hes anymore likely to call since you started it?
If you both took that attitude you'd never make up. If he calls you first you have more to thank him for than just his apology, but for also being able to swallow his pride. Which you don't seem willing to do, why are you forcing him to do that when you started it ?
It's clearly in my eyes your responsibility, no matter what he said afterwards.
You couldn't really expect him not to retaliate if the things you said were that bad either.
2006-06-18 14:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Zinc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You should apologize since you started the argument.
Of course, it'd be great if he, too, apologized. The fact that he returned "fire with fire" is an indication of his personality (is he insecure, too sensitive and/or immature?).
If HE had started the argument wouldn't you want an apology?
And if he had started the argument would you have responded in a like manner ("fire with fire")?
As you've learned, once you say hurtful things, they do their damage and you cannot take them back.
If you want to continue in your relationship and strengthen it, then you may want to consider alternate ways to express your "bad moods" and hurts. Hurting one another in that manner chips away at the relationship's foundation. Continually doing so will ensure the relationship's collapse.
2006-06-20 03:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it is a tough one.Although I would appreciate if the girl can also apologize sometimes. You probably don't have to be the first one to say "I am sorry", however, maybe you can give him a hint that you feel a little bad now that you have calmed down? Like...asking out for coffee? And see if he will apologize?
If I am in your situation and the girl invite me for coffee after the argument, I would apologize first.
2006-06-07 09:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would apologize for the things that you said. Most likely he'll apologize for the things that he said. Just tell him you were in a bad mood and you said some things that you shouldn't have and your sorry.
2006-06-21 07:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by cboyce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you both take a chill period and see where things go from there. It sounds like you're both very immature and using the excuse of a bad mood is really no excuse to take your things out on another person.
The chill period will be good for both of you to sit back and analyze yourself and the relationship.
2006-06-07 09:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, yes you started it and even though he said somethings back you should say sorry. you will feel like the better person and yall can work it out. don't worry arguments mean your in a real relationship!
2006-06-07 10:12:40 · answer #9 · answered by krissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the better person regardless of who started it. It demonstrates good character to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I'm sure you love him and he is worth it.
2006-06-18 08:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by Laurie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋