My baby girl will be 5 months Friday the 9th. My husband and I both work, and my sister-in-law watches her when we both are at work. For the past 3 wks to mth she has started to cry when we walk away from her. I'm scared she thinks that i am abandoning her all the time. What should I do? I love to stay home w/her but our finances dont allow me to do so. Its like she isn't getting enough attention? Please Help???
2006-06-07 09:35:38 · 13 answers · asked by "ωнαтєνѕ!" 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Does your sister in law want a baby? Why did you have one if you cannot stay home with it? Mother's today expect it all. Guess what you baby wants her mother! If you think that peek a boo or anything else teaches her that you will be back then you have been brain washed like most other working moms. Being both is impossible. How can you give 100% to a job and give the same to your child? You Can't! Work you finances so that you can stay home. Cut back on the unnecessary.
2006-06-07 10:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by Robbin 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It's only because she is just starting to really realize that you are leaving. It will get better again. My kids did that when they were babies and I had to go back to work right away myself. The important thing you need to realize is that you DO and you HAVE returned to her. That is why peek-a-boo is an important game for that age. It makes them see that you go away and then it's amazing - you come back!! I play it with my granddaughter and she cracks up!! She's just about 6 mos. It's ok and it's normal - and I know you feel guilty. Wait until she a little older and "playing" with the other kids and runs to the daycare or whatever - that's when your heart breaks but it's still all good!!!
2006-06-07 09:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, if you are with her constantly and don't allow her to spend time with other people without you, she'll become so attached to you that when later issues come up, like starting school or daycare, the situation will be a lot worse.
Just give her attention and affection when you get home and tell her everyday before you leave that you love her and you will be home soon and that she will have fun with her aunt and be okay. She'll be fine.
2006-06-07 09:40:17 · answer #3 · answered by intelligentaphrodite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is okay. I had to do the same with my son. I work at night at the moment and it seems to lesson the pressure when I leave her with family. My father and sister in law watch my two sons when I am at work. My baby boy does the same. it is just that they are so use to being with mommy all the time. She will prbably do this a couple of times, maybe all the time. But I assure you she is okay once you are gone.
Just look at it that she loves you so much she misses you before your gone. Good luck. Your a good mother!
2006-06-07 09:49:34 · answer #4 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry, and don't let people tell you that you are a bad mother for working! You are doing the best you can, it is obvious you love you daughter and don't want to be apart from her and that is what matters. As for the seperation anxiety, the problem isn't that she thinks you are abandoning her. It is that she has learned that even though you aren't with her that you still exist somewhere else. You arn't out of sight out of mind anymore. she just wants you with her
2006-06-07 12:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Calia'a Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there, mom. It may take a while, but soon your baby will remember that you always return to pick her up. Separation Anxiety is so hard, trust me , I know. Just try not to drag out your goodbye, because it could even upset her more. A quick goodbye, and a very exicted return will help her get into the groove of things.
2006-06-07 09:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think every baby does this. Its because you and your husband have been the only once around for awhile after she was born and she knows you are her mother. Try to let sister-in-law spend time with the baby even when you and daddy are there let her get use to her. She will be fine don't worry. good luck
2006-06-07 16:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may be starting to understand you are going to be gone for awhile.ask your sister-in-law if your baby stops crying soon after you are out of sight.
don't feel guilty about not being home with her.she is getting good care while you work.at least she doesn't have to be in a day care where it's a lot harder to give each baby attention.
2006-06-07 09:42:57 · answer #8 · answered by freebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my Baby magazine it covered this. They explained that a babies fears are falling, loud noises, and "where did mommy or daddy go". They said when ever you go to leave your child tell them you love them and leave. To NEVER sneak out on them though because they will continue to search for youand it will cause insecurity. They also said games such as peek-a-boo help with this. Good luck.
2006-06-07 09:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by mememe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe this is a natural reaction for children. I used to do it to my mom when she'd leave at night for work (she was a night nurse) and I turned out fine. Just be sure to tell her you'll be back and give her all the attention you can when you're home!
2006-06-07 09:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋