The ex cheatted on him with his best friend. My hubby feels that he needs to do this because of their kids. I also have a son from a previous marriage and my mother took my son to get my presents. I love his kids and I don't mind if I have to take the kids and get the present myself. what do you think?
2006-06-07 09:15:55 · 52 answers · asked by Mia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE THE BOMB?
By offering to take the kids to get the mother he chose for them (maybe against his better judgment) a Mother's Day Gift you are helping him off the hot seat of having to fight his head over all the implications of his involvement in picking out any kind of gift for her. As a bonus you are setting an excellent example for all of your kids and helping their self esteem by saying that their parent deserves to be recognized. Whether you really feel this way or not, they are just as much their mother as they are their fathers. Now if you ever get wind that she has complained because "she" took the kids instead of their father tell her he was too busy trying to find a new best friend. Best wishes to you, keep up the good fight.
2006-06-07 18:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by Kimmers 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your hubby divorced her coz she cheated on him. So I'm sure he's not buying the presents for HER. He's doing this clearly for the KIDS. Which is okay...and dispassionate..
However, ur hubby could try talking to the kids abt how he feels abt this and why he's doing certain things for them, and ask the kids if they really want it. You can also do ur bit by chatting up with the kids and taking them on a mock motherday shopping spree over the weekend to get them comfortable abt the new idea of urs.
Meanwhile, think from the kid's perspective as well...they still love their mother and want to buy presents for her with their father...u know...the typical complete family thing they've been missing all these years since their parents seperated??
2006-06-07 09:23:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Have a daughter from a previous marriage she is 5 & my hubby has one son who's 9 form another marriage & our son who's 11/2.
But I have only receive the presents from my daughter the ones she made at day care & now at pre-k & ofcourse the present my hubby buy for them so they can give it to me.
But we both have decide not to buy any mother's day or Father's day or even B-day;s from non of our EX"S. Our daugther & son we be old enough to save & buy at least something small which will be fine for either me or my hybby to take them & buy what they can afford. BUt not for me or my hubby to pay for a " good" present. I think it should be this way.
If not the EX may not like what you buy & it will be just a waste or your time & money. I personally would not buy her anything, but it is your decition & speak out the problem w/ your hubby she is not part of his life anymore she is just the "mother" of their kids & that's it or your EX do buy presents for your son to give you on any special day ???
2006-06-07 09:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as much as it bothers you, and as much of a jerk his ex maybe for cheating on him, it shows that you married a great guy if he still buys her mothers day presents. She is the mother of his children. However, if you would prefer to take his kids to buy her presents rather than him buying it, then you should discuss it with him and see if that's OK by him, he probably won't mind, but I really wouldn't let his buying presents for his ex get to you. Again, it sounds like you found a really nice guy.
2006-06-07 09:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is perfectly acceptable for him to buy his ex-wife mothers' day gifts, especially since no one else, like a grandparent or aunt or uncle, seems to be willing to step up and do it. She will always be the mother of his children, and buying her a gift acknowledges that.
My friend's parents divorced when we were in high school. We are all grown now, but she told me several years ago that her parents still send cards to each other on mothers' and fathers' day. She was dying to know why, so she finally asked her mother about it. Her mother showed her some of the cards. They all say basically the same thing: thank you for giving me these wonderful children we share, and thank you for being such a good and loving mother to them. My friend said it made her so happy she cried.
2006-06-07 09:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the presents are coming from the children (though he's buying them) then I see no reason to stop. Her cheating has nothing to do with those kids. If it's a real problem, then have him give the kids money and take them shopping to pick out what they want to get their mom. Then it's not so much coming from him as much as them.
2006-06-07 09:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if it is from him to his ex-wife, if he takes his kids out shopping and purchases them for the children to give to their mom that would be acceptable. It would be a father kid thing sorry but you are out, you would be cutting in on father kids bonding time. Why not just go with and be supportive instead of trying to subtract your husband from the equation entirely. Make it a family thing. Then they will hopefully see you as another maternal figure and you just might get presents too.
2006-06-07 17:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by o_O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great! It's not weird at all. He loves you and appreciates you for the mother you are aswell. Maybe you should discuss with him that you'd like a little more attention on mothers day than her, but you don't mind him getting her a card and a lil gift either.
But, he still has respect for her as a mother. That shouldnt make you feel threatened- its just like if he was getting a M-day card for a sister or something
2006-06-07 09:22:28 · answer #8 · answered by aMansRuin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its very mature that even though she did him so wrong he still thinks its appropriate for her to get a mother's day present. I personally feel that it's important for the parents to put their kids needs in front of their own and not let them see open hostility between the two. Your husband has chosen to take the high road. You should too.
2006-06-07 09:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it should depend on you and him. If it bothers you, then no he shouldn't do it. If not, when he does do it, then he should buy something for the kids to give to their mother and you. It shouldn't depend on whether she cheated or not, she is still teh mother of their children. The kids need to do things for their mother on mother's day. This whole issue is about whether the two of you are okay with it or not. He should DEFINITELY take your feelings into consideration.
2006-06-07 09:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by teetee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋