We're happily married, but I don't like to beg for it and I don't want it if she's not interested in sex to. I'm sure I should feel lucky that she'll willing but I want her to want me too. I'm in great shape, take her on dates, buy her flowers, but sexually I'm starving ... HELP ... what do I do.
2006-06-07 08:21:29 · 17 answers · asked by Sonny_Crockett 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Find out what she wants, does she work, do you have kids, does she have to much on her plate, give her some help. After you have had the sex, is she glad she did it. You have been married for 18 years, the lines of communication should be open well. It may also be an estrogen problem as well, depending on her age. Talk to her, let her know that you still want her and that you want her to want you, seek prof. if need be. Good Luck
2006-06-07 08:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its most likely directly related to how you go about it. If its lost all spice and excitement I'd be turned off by it too. If she feels like its more of an obligation than a thrill how can you expect her to be interested. You say you take her out and buy flowers, that's nice and all but what are you doing to stroke her feminism and ego. Compliments are key, let her know what you think about that outfit she's wearing, how about her hair, o and be sure to bring up the first time you met. Remember the past and hint at it. Let her know that still after eighteen years she drives you wild. If she feels like you want her as opposed to a relief which is deserved for all that you do she may be more enthused. And lastly, mention how you can't stop thinking about her when you talk to her on the phone or were away from her for a while. And that night when you crawl into bed start by kissing her all over and if she so permits with that moan. Give her pleasure.
2006-06-07 08:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by Daniel C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you're not happily married if a big part of married intimacy is missing. Was she ever interested in sex? If so what changed?
If not why not? If she truly wants to make you happy she will work on this. Here's the big question. If this is going to be like this for the next 20 years are you going to stay? Make sure there is no physical component then get some therapy.
2006-06-07 08:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about how you feel and see if there are any specific ways you can get her into the mood more often. On top of that also try to spice things up on your own and be spontaneous. Go on a weekend trip, take a vacation, go out on the town spur of the moment. Do things she likes to do and talk to her - women tend to get turned on on an emotional level or when they have an emotional connection.
Try giving her a massage, lighting candles, going to the beach at night, etc. Just try some new things or some old things that maybe you haven't done in a while.
2006-06-07 08:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes flowers and candy isn't enough you might need to back off a bit and see if she comes around if not do things together go walking so you wont feel lazy when I catch the lazy bug I wont do anything either and your right sex is no fun if you think the other person doesn't want it get her up make her start doing things to get her metabolism up she will come around
2006-06-07 08:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by ninadavismillie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her about how she is feeling! Sometimes a heartfelt conversation can heal more than you think. There must be something wrong is she is never in the mood! Is she uncomfortable with her body? Is she bored with the sex life? Try new things in bed...new but not too crazy you don't want to scare her. Romance her with some candles roses and a bath. Pamper her. that always gets me in the mood, try it on her!
2006-06-07 08:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by Blondie98_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to her about it. There are some safe vitamins that she can take to boost her libido. But maybe there's an underlined problem. like something she remembers from her past. Blocking things out of your mind and completely forgetting them then remembering it years later can really happen. Tell her how you feel and that it not only about sex, but the closeness and connection it brings. Just don't give up and don't give in to outside temptations.
2006-06-07 08:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by sixnow25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all make sure that she's healthy phsycially and mentally, it sounds like you try and congrats to you for doing so but maybe you need to try something different. is your wife open minded sexually? go online together or out to an adult store and buy some toys or lotions, get creative and spice things up some. has lovemaking become routine? women are more stimulated by their brains than anything else, so figure out what thoughts, fantasies, words get her going and use that to your advantage.
2006-06-07 08:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing i suggest for you is to read, do some research to find something that'll spike her interest, make her want it again, put a little more effort forth, show her that its not about you its completely about her and making her happy, and she will definitely get back in the swing of things
2006-06-07 08:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by fatalbert167 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try romancing her and trying new and exciting things with her. Also see if she is open to trying new things in the bedroom with you like new posistions and ideas and maybe even a couples toy! Try oral too. and maybe even some flavor. Be patient with her and give her some time!
2006-06-07 09:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋