Do you like to be touched?

Question

I have a friend that says she doesn't like to be touched by someone she doesn't know. Even the most passive/innocent contact from a stranger causes her anxiety.

Psychologically, what could this fear be a result of?

Answer 1

No not by people i don't know, i can't stand it! My aversion to it comes from having been a bartender and female, in that environment men tend to think its perfectly fine to touch a woman they don't know...they only ever tried it once though :) it just gives me the creeps and my reaction is to think 'who do they think they are?' what gives them the right to touch me? ick. My philosophy has always been that if you don't know its alright to touch me don't do it, one time a guy i knew did it but i didn't know who it was i turned around and swung before i even realized it, luckily he was aware of my aversion and caught me before i broke my hairbrush over his head! i didn't grow up in a touchy huggy household so maybe thats it, however my first husbands family is very much like that and i decided on my first holiday with them that i wanted my kids to have it, so my kids are very much hugging people and i love that, but they only do it when it is appropriate.

Answer 2

I don't think it would just be from abuse.
I come from a family that just isn't touchy feely, like we don't hug hello or goodbye, we rarely say "love you", stuff like that.
Now my husbands side of the family is the total opposite! They hug goodbye every time they leave each other and say I love you.
I have been with him for 8 years now and im still uncomfortable hugging his family when we leave or whatever. I am still uncomfortable saying "love ya" to them as well.
Maybe it's just how some people where brought up.

Answer 3

It could be the result of physical abuse as a child. I was abused, and I still have a tendency to react negatively even to innocent physical contact.

Answer 4

I don't like it either. I think that it is a cultural thing. They have done studies that show that people from Northern Europe and Northern European heritage require the most personal space and people from South and Central America require the least.

Answer 5

Maybe it's just a preference for personal space. Not everyone is physical. Maybe she didn't get alot of touching growing up. Maybe she got to much(abuse). Be supportive.

Answer 6

some ppl are not touchy-feely. i dont like strangers 2 touch me either. u never no what someone is doing with their hands b4 they come in contact with u.
she could have had a traumatic experience with some unwanted touching in the past. maybe she has experienced sexual harassment (which is what unwanted touching is). maybe she is just shy.

Answer 7

It's not a fear it's just wanting your own personal space. Plus germs are a big issue too.

Answer 8

no, i'm not comfortable with physical contact. i have a friend who is a hugger, and we really had to deal with that, because it made me so uncomfortable, but she needed the contact to reassure her, so i hug on special occasions, and i try to give her lots of verbal reassurances. my mom was not a physical parent, not physically demonstrative, so it probably comes from her

Answer 9

I understand what your friend is going through...she might have had a rough childhood....or have been physically abused before

Answer 10

no, I don't like to be touch by anybody other than my family. There is people outhere (coworkers) who think is "okey" to talk and like grab my arm and stuff, you can't touch people if you are not cool with them!