I have loved a girl for six years, who has never loved me. I helped her financially for years and even moved to Europe for her but it ended when she got a job. We neved had relationship, she was raped and has many problems..we never even ended with conversation just one day she hung up on me and that has continued. I have been suffering everyday now for six years and the only thing that has changed is the that I have ripped the souls out of everyone that loves me. I think of her constantly, she used and hurt me so still I cant stop loving her…how can I get over this? I got married a year ago to someone that loved me so much and I hurt her so bad for three years..I was getting better and woke up two months ago to feel healed and love for my wife..but the irony is she began an affair and now that foundation of trust and loyality that healed me is gone..mywife and I want to try again but I cant continue to hurt her anymore..i want to be free..any advice on how..SIX YEARS -help pls?
2006-06-07 08:00:32 · 8 answers · asked by mivate88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I spent several years after, travleling the world with 86 girlfriends..looking for love again. I was retired, now I work again to take my mind off everything also..and yes I was always honest with each and every single one..each girl that loved knew of my situation. I am 35, my wife is just 22..I neglected her months and was in europe for the past two while she was all alone and she cracked..one bad friend of hers adviced her on this affair..my wife has told me she is shamed and wasnt herself..in fact she still is numb everywhere...she moved from poland to be with me..and has plans to study here in us..we have worked on this for three years while she was devoted to me..she ened the affair when I came back and confessed she was reaching out for affection, love and strength as I made her feel like I didnt want her, she didnt feel pretty, she blamed herself for the way I was..she tells me she wants to try again but doesnt know if its possible to love me again..I was her first love.
2006-06-07 09:23:53 · update #1
Also, I dont want to get back with my first love..I want to be free..of course I know better..I just want to be free of this feeling (I know what I want out of life) (and neither is replacable) (the first is artist/like me and we spent years creating art etc...) (the second is not artist but smart, funny, sweet, caring girl) (We have so much in common yet so much not and she is always opening up things in my life for me, I have never got along with anyone better than my wife..trust me she is very beautiful in every way (although I used to not see it so much)..We both dont know if we can forgive and move on..but we feel we will regret it forever if we dont try at least one more time..so really the question is HOW TO DO THIS RIGHT THIS TIME...and for me its getting over completely my first love..and also building the trust again between my wife...she has cried almost everyday for years...I cant and wont do this another person...life is too short for us all!
2006-06-07 09:30:39 · update #2
i really think you have gone through quite enough ... i would end this now.. i was married 23 years to a abusive man and i stayed there because of my children... you do not want to end up like me years later having wasted all your years away... and if they have cheated on you there is not no trust left.. that is my feelings of course. only you know if you can forgive her and go on...and someone that has used you and ripped your heat out so much... why even want to go back to her...why dont you take a break and really think about what you want in life and if you will be wasting more years on someone that does not love you... it hurts really, i know....but you can move on..it is up to you but i do not believe there is any future in going back to things that has failed in the past... there is to much damage done already.. and i would not be able to forget it all and sometime along the line it will come up in your face again...start trying to do what is good for you..and find someone that loves you and appreciates what you do for them...it is not easy to find a good guy these days.. so do not lower yourself anymore...and you will heal again...sometimes you have to use your head instead of your heart, because your heart does not always match up to what the woman really feels or how she treats you.....
2006-06-07 08:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by sanangel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound so much like my self but, it hasnt been 6yrs only three. I have to tell you I know how rough it is. Somedays words cant even begin to discribe the torcher I have gone through.
But there is hope.... Yes there really is, While you truely have a undying love for this lady/friend. You have to do what is best for you. Hey life is way too short to not put the past to rest. I do have to ask, Have you told her how you feel? really hav you sent her a card, letter a anonomiss boque of flowers and warmed up to her in a gentle way? You can have a undying love for some one but if they dont know about it, it means nothing.
Hey I know it is tough and ith hurts a great deal, but live your life to the fullest. talk about it with a good friend open your heart and I am sure you will find a lady that rocks your world just as much as that lady did once upon a time.
2006-06-07 08:13:27 · answer #2 · answered by Terry N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes sweety, I recognise you like him however you need to love your self first. That is the major, naturally he might care much less approximately you. So that are meant to make you care extra approximately your self.How can any individual love you and also you naturally dont love your self? You enable him to take abilities of you. You are helpful and deserve greater.So attempt to examine your self and construct up trust and reassurace that he's NOT irreplaceable you'll be able to uncover any individual greater. Someone for you to make your day simpler and any individual that might cherish the bottom you stroll on. There is wish.That man isnt for you. Know your self. Love Yourself.You reside and also you gain knowledge of. And im 19 too. I been via circumstances wherein a man did a few tousled matters and that i moved on and reduce them off.Because I recognise i will be able to do greater. And if They knew greater they might do greater!!! I recognise in my middle i will be able to uncover the correct one. I need to have persistence.Hopefully you'll too.
2016-09-08 21:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by arruda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i found that telling the person you love exactly how you feel and then tell them that they now the truth and that it is up to them to do something about it will set you free and make you feel a whole lot better. I finally had to tell my daughters father how I felt after he wouldn't marry after 3 years but remarried his ex wife. I felt a lot better and have since gotten engaged and remarried
2006-06-07 08:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by emileerosebaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. Have a funeral for that person. Pretend they're dead! Be over with it!!!!!!!Life is about change and growth not resentment and the past..learn from your experience and love the woman who truly loves you..
2006-06-07 08:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by amylr620 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Count your losses and forget her. Socialise with friends, if you can not, ask for professional help. Just a little tune up and you will be like a lion again
2006-06-07 08:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
i tell u that love the person who loves u.so plz start loving ur wife.bec love is v precious.if i hav got a guy like u who loved me soo much i would hav given myself to him.but destiny u knw.so before the time passes away accept this trhat ur wife is the one ur love ur life.tc
2006-06-07 08:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by DIP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date her best-friend.
2006-06-07 08:02:33 · answer #8 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋