Orgasm problems, Girls please help!!!?

Question

My girlfriend doesnt orgasm when we have sex. I have actually only gotten her off a few times in the past year but I had to use oral and that doesnt work all the time. When we have sex I try to stimulate her clitors with my hand but she just slaps my hand away and tells me to stop. She says it is to sensitive (how do I get her off if I cant touch her there). She claims she enjoys sex, and I know she love me but to be honest when we have sex she doesnt seem like she has her head in the game. She will always talk about thing that has nothing to do with whats going on, and I blame her because I feel that she doesnt orgasm because she doesnt concentrate on trying to have one.

I feel like I do "warn her up". I can do oral for 15 min. and then try and touch it and she still slaps my hand away, and as far as asking her how she does it, I dont think she does. If she does she wont tell me about it. She just doesnt seem like a very sexaul person. And it is ruinning my sex life. You dont know how much is sucks to be going at it and have the person look at you and say "I think I need to order some more checks". I have told her how I feel, but she just doesnt seem to get it.

Thanks for the advice Amandla, but I think you miss understood my concern. Its not that I cant get her to orgasm through intercourse because I dont have a problem with that, its that I cant get her to do it at all. Like I said I have gotten her to do it a few time and Im not sure what was different about those time. And it not a question about her being comfortable with sex, to me she seems like it is, but the things she says make me think that she thinks sex is just all about the guy and gettin me off. As for her touching herself she wont do it.

Answer 1

Guys are many times "damned if we do and damned if we don't" try to get a woman "off".

Ultimately it IS their responsibility to keep communications open about what is happening within their body, mind and heart. Have you ever seen the movie "Chasing Amy" where Binky describes why he doesn't go down on women anymore??? It is hilarious ONLY because guys know EXACTLY what he's talking about. Most women who watch that movie don't have a clue to what he really means with his satire.

I do know that treating a woman as a "project to be fixed" in ANY way is courting disaster. Women need to meet men half-way. If they are lucky enough to have a good guy as a lover they ALSO need to be SMART enough to realize it and help him out.

If she really is not that interested in having orgasms or of having her clitoris touched SHE should be on the forefront of the discussion as to WHY and what alternate directions she likes to go in.

If you want a good lover and you are not with a good lover....then consider your options. If you want open communication about intimacy and you are NOT getting it.......consider your options. Most people don't change very much. Some good friends are better as "just good friends'.............and that is a VERY good thing. Isn't that what most guys here have heard a hundred times????

Consider your future.

Answer 2

Okay so first of all, don't pressurise her. Nothing stands in the way of the big O like stress or performance anxiety of any kind. That your woman doesn;t come during intercourse is not unusual at all, so you don;t have to worry about either of you doing something wrong during the grinding game ;-) As for getting her off through oral sex - well done, and keep up the good work. It sounds to me though as if she is just not allowing herself to relax and really experience the sensations of a sexual encounter. Or perhaps she isn;t really comfortable with the vulnerability and intimacy of experiencing orgasm with you.There can be many reasons for this and you can;t blame her for it. But you can try to help her ease into a new comfort zone. Making her feel like a sex goddess is a good start - boost her confidence, let her know that she is irresistable and all you want a woman to be. There's no aphrodesiac quite like self-confidence, trust me on this. You could also try something like blindfolding her, or you, or both of you - taking away one sense so she can concentrate more on others. Ask her what she fantasises about, or if she is too shy to tell you share some of yours, or watch/read some erotica together to give you ideas. Maybe in a roleplay she could loosen up and come out of her shell a little. Oh, this is becoming a bit of an essay. One last thing - always work around the clit, not directly on it unless she asks you to. And if she doesn;t like you masturbating her during intercourse, ask her to do it herself (and be very obviously turned on by it). Uhm, yeah, so good luck *lol*

Answer 3

I think you need to have a talk with her, outside the bedroom, and tell her your concerns. Even if she's not a very sexual person, she should at least make the effort to enjoy sex when you have it.

Now, do you ask for sex very often? Perhaps since she's not as sexual as you seem to be, she's getting bored if she's giving in too often, because she might just be doing it to satisfy you. This is the reason why you need to have a talk with her...find out what she wants, and how she wants the sexual relationship to be. Then, you tell her what you expect it to be. You can agree to meet somewhere in the middle, like for instance, having sex less frecuently, but that she commits to be completely into it and cooperative when you do.

If all fails, try getting some counseling. I think sex is a very important part of a relationship, and if you can't get things to work, other parts of the relationship will be afected as well. Good luck!

Answer 4

Lots of women have a hard time reaching orgasm through intercourse alone. If the oral isn't doing the trick all of the time, then maybe something different is needed. She says she is too sensitive for you to touch her down there, and I can understand what she is saying---most guys rub too hard (which only succeeds in making us overstimulated and sore). There may be some women who DO like it that way, though. My advice, let her show you how to do it so that it is "just right" for her. Perhaps she just needs a little extra foreplay. As far as her talking about "irrelevant issues" during sex---all you can do is try to talk with her about why she does this. (Maybe she has some kind of weird guilt hang up about sex, and she is actually distracting herself because of it.) Good Luck!

Answer 5

Orgasms for ladies are fairly distinctive then the male populace, and no longer all 2 ladies are ever the equal, many distinctive matters play a facet in feminine orgasms, for example age is a gigantic element, in case your to younger it can be not possible, as your frame hasn't reached the mature stage that it have got to get to in an effort to orgasm? This isn't to mention that every one younger folks are not able to orgasm, it best signifies that it's much less more likely to occur to a sixteen 12 months historical woman, as opposed to a 30 12 months historical lady. Also in which you're mentally could also be the quantity one element in looking to orgasm, you will be looking to tough and aren't in a secure state of brain, or perhaps your companion lacks enjoy? as many guys are clueless on the subject of sexual delight with their lady? However, one of the most quality orgasms can also be completed for your possess, all on your own, so if you're looking to have a orgasm and you're attempting this with a boyfriend, quit proper their. My suggest is for your unfastened time, climb into your mattress in which you're such a lot relaxed, calm down up to viable and recognition on what ever feels well? Don't recognition to a lot, and do not attempt to tough, simply allow your brain move unfastened from all pressure and best consider approximately something turns you on. I myself in my opinion might not ever acheive a orgasm whilst I used to be with a boyfriend, so I attempted it alone and it labored, or even now, after 14 years of marriage, my quality orgasms are nonetheless the finest whilst I am on my own.

Answer 6

hmm, well i don't know hun. if she can't communicate with you to help with this problem then it won't get better. i know how you are feeling.. in adequate and maybe like she's not attracted to your bed room skills. i wonder is she into games in the bedroom? would she be up for the idea of tieing her to the bed. if so, maybe set some rules.. give her a comfort zone. of certain stuff she doesn't like. ( ex maybe anal ) and tell her you only want to make her feel good. and you are going to touch her to make her feel good. what happens when you over stimulate the clit that way. the way where its so sensitive.. is that she will have a different kind of orgasim.. where a woman "squirts" its hard to get her comfortable with this because it is so.. sensitive but see if she wants to adventure that side of herself. and if she does tell her how hot it is. compliments to her about you help. or should



okay for one women don't have a on track mind they always have something to worry about.. your job in the bed so to say is you need to get her complete attention make it all about her talk to her let her know its all about her make her feel good. another thing starting out you don't want to have direct contact with the clitoris as it has the most nerve endings in it try just touching her anywhere but there. warm her up before you drive and then when you feel like she is ready for clitoris stimulation. try sliding your finger to the side of her clit. that way its not directly on it. rub in small cirlces next to it. so that it makes short contact with her clit. if that doesn't work it never hurts to ask what she likes. and truth is she probably really does enjoy sex. women. don't have to have an orgasim to get pleasure out of sex though we like orgasims too. but for us alot of women enjoy knowing that they could satisfy you

Answer 7

As far as being too sensitive when you touch her-it all depends how you do it. If I am very close to come I become sensitive and can't stand someone touching me there either. But if you start with it, oral sex, do it gently ask her how and where she likes to be touched. Take your time with foreplay before you go anything further.

Answer 8

Women don't concentrate or think about having an orgasm they just let it happen. No one can think about having an orgasm and then they do, stuff like that just happens. A lot of women don't orgasm with penis penetration! Some don't orgasm at all! Just because she's not orgasmic, doesn't mean she's not enjoying it. She probably is enjoying it, if she hasn't said anything to you about it so don't worry about it.

Answer 9

get a small vibrator get yall some books read together some reason she may love u but she is not into sex

Answer 10

ei heard about OMG spot?
http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_cunnili.htm