my girlfriend is having some serious family trouble and she has no one to realy turn to but me. my problem is deciding which is better to GIVE HER SPACE or to COMFORT HER in any way possible. any input is help. thanks
2006-06-07 07:43:07 · 9 answers · asked by marty justa wonderin 2 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Caleb, is this you...
Just kidding, I have the exact same issues. My boyfriend feels the same way. He gets confused by me too. He's one to want to be left alone if he's going through stuff, but I'm one to want someone to hold me through it. It could go either way, or both ways at differnent times. The important thing is to keep communication healthy. Simply ask her what she wants. If she says she doesn't know, comfort her first, then if she's resistant give her some space. She may just want you to lend an ear. Who knows, that's something though, you'll have to ask her personally.
2006-06-07 07:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by heavendreamer84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give her room to discuss it if need be, but you must make sure you don't take a side in the matter, or advise her in a way that makes her choose between her family and you. This would be selfish. If your truly her friend you will be most comforting to her by not requiring demands of her, but by being available to talk it out as a sounding board for her would be the best thing you can do.
2006-06-07 14:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Cabana C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple solution let her know that you are there for her but that when she is ready to talk, hang out or just be near someone who is not goingto compound her stress that she can give you a call and you will be there for her. Do not tell her you are giving her space unless you plan on tanking the relationship. Tell her that no matter what the problem is she can depend on you. Then let her make the decision to talk or not. Just let her know you are there. even if you are physically there you need to verbalize it otherwise she will not unload her issues she will keep it to herself. Good Luck
2006-06-07 14:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by psychologist is in 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the only person that she can talk to, that's at least a good thing. You want to comfort her and let her spill out all of her problems. You need to be there and help her when she needs your help. Make sure you remember all the imporant dates in a year. You just have to be there. My friends were for me, then one left me because I babied her. I don't want anyone to be in as much pain as I was, so be careful with her and heal her completely. She'll never get through it otherwise. Tell her she's beautiful and lovable. She just needs you.
2006-06-07 14:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by otter7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, it's always nice just to have someone there to listen to the problems, no matter if you have a solution for them or not. Maybe she isn't looking for answers from you, just a shoulder to lean on during the rough spots. Just let her know you're there for her no matter what. I hope things turn out well for the two of you.
2006-06-07 14:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by jaded 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could just ask her what she needs...tell her you'd like to support her the best you can, you just aren't sure what that would be.
It is better to just ask than go for one or the other and maybe leave her feeling worse...
Good luck!
2006-06-07 14:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by bcorran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure you are open to anything she needs. Just be there when she needs to talk. Don't pressure her at all. Comfort her when she needs it. Plainly, just make sure you are a positive in her life.
2006-06-07 14:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by tacodog409 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe give her space and talk to her when she needs you.
2006-06-07 15:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by vahna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her what she needs from you is the bast way to go. If you're unsure of anything, always ask the person first instead of strangers.
2006-06-07 14:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by sixspdsxdrv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋