My partner has just dumped me after four years and it hurts. How do I deal with it?

Question

My partner of the last 4 years have just ended our relationship and started sleeping around. we have only been split for 2 weeks and /i can not cope with with the feelings, please help me get some tools on how to start to deal with all this.

Thanks everyone for all the responses, they all helped apart from one flippant answers. Wether you are married or not, you still have the same feelings, regardless.

Answer 1

I'm assuming that this is a gay relationship considering your choice of words. Regardless, the best cure for a broken heart is a rebound mate!

Seriously, start going back to clubs. Spend time with your Grandma, renew old relationships you gave up in order to spend more time with him. Also, even though it will be hard not to bring HIM up in about every conversation, try not to talk about him very much to your family and friends. That can get annoying after a while. The more time you practice not talking or thinking about him, the more your mind and heart will ease the pain and humiliation. One more important thing: When and if he comes groveling back DEMAND HE BE TESTED FOR HIV/AIDS & STD BEFORE ANY INTAMANCY takes place. AND ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX...NO SEX UNTIL YOU SEE CURRENT RESULTS TO AN AIDS TEST.

Answer 2

I understand your feeling. Yes, it hurts so bad, but it's still better than if he dumped you but still be a good person, and you'll regret and want him back so much.
In this case, he shows that he's a bartard jerk, and that's not what you deserve ... So, I know it still hurt bad as usual when a relationship ends, but at least there's the reason for you to think you need to end it anyway, because he's not the right one for you.

Try to think that you don't need him, you deserve much better ... Then time will help to heal ...

One more thing you can do : Try to NOT recall the good moments you had had in the part, it hurts you more. If you feel like to do, THROUGH AWAY things he had given to you, things that make you think about him and the time you were together ...

Answer 3

Make sure to get yourself out of the house .. get off the computer and find some friends or family to hang out with.

Get around people that love you and you will be happier. Try not to dwell on the break up part of your relationship ... try learning from it.

What went wrong, what could I change to make it better next time, learn more about what you want out of your next relationship also !

You'll be ok ... life is about learning to deal with LIFE ! Some people can do it better then others. You get to choose your own feelings and you're the only one who can change them !

LIVE & LEARN !

Answer 4

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Don't worry everything in time will be better you'll see. Take it slow Dont go out and get drunk because being sad and drunk gets your nowhere. Hang out with good friends rent funny movies and eat junk food (within reason). These things make us stronger in the long run. I understand that it is easier said than done but try not to think about it too much. :)

Answer 5

the best thing to do is find a good friend that you can talk to, and cry it all out. It will feel much better when you let it all out, it will take a while to get over it, it wil not just leave. It took me 2 years to get over a 9 years relationship. I hope you find true love and happiness

Answer 6

Have you sat down with your partner, and ask him or her, What
the problems are, If you have then just sit down and cry allot.
It's going to hurt for a long time.
Try.to not go to the places you went to together, do not think a lot about the past. Move into the future and you will be just fine.
I know it is hard to hear but nothing last for ever.

Answer 7

Well I was married for 17 years, and we divorced. it's the hardest thing ANYONE can go through, I don't care what anyone says. it's darn hard no matter how long you've been together.
But you MUST allow yourself to greive.. only then can you eventually overcome this.
Find someone you can trust to talk to about your feelings.
There is alot of online groups on this issue, hunt them out and talk to others about your feelings.. don't just keep it inside. Talking to others thats been through it understands, ,and is a wonderful help.
talk.. thats my best advice, and perhaps counceling to get over whatever caused this breakup.. and make sure it don't repeat it self in the future.

All the best to you, I understand its not easy

Answer 8

This is a tough one. First of all sorry!!! Try to occupy your time by doing other things like hanging with friends or family more often or you can volunteer somewhere. It's never easy going through a break up and your probably not ready to start dating so i would suggest to think about them less and fill your days with fun things to do....

Answer 9

Although not stated, your message implies that you two were not married and were sexually active. Of course, neither of you made any commitment so you two were never "together". You didn't think enough of each other to enter into a moral commitment and get married, so I guess now there is nothing to be crying about. You were never devoted to one another enough to get married so now your sex partner is having sex with someone else.


Welcome to the world of immoral relationships.

Answer 10

I'm going to tell you what everyone told me.....patience. Time has a way of erasing your pain. You're going to go through a long road of darkness, but you'll eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone goes through a heartache at least once in their life. You're going to get through it. I'm not going to lie to you, you'll feel plenty of pain before you feel happy again. Hope I could help. Good luck.