I am very self concious, I am 20 years old and overweight by abot 30 pounds, have strech marks on my stomach and sides, and just dont feel attractive. We have been married one year and he still has not seen me undress, or seen me in the shower or seen me when we have sex, I know this is a problem and he always askes to see me naked but I just cant. Can anyone help me. I know he loves me for me, and he always tells me I am beautiful but I just have a problem? Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do to get over it???
2006-06-07 07:42:12 · 15 answers · asked by wondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think all women are like this to some degree or another
here's the thing from a male perspective
we are too darn excited that a naked woman is in the same room with us to really care about small minor imperfections
im sure you are beautiful
and im sure you husband doesn't expect perfection
if he's like me, he thinks his wife is beautiful not inspite of her flaws, but because of her flaws
2006-06-07 07:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by whoisgod71 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone so far has just told you not to be so self conscious, and given you advice to help stop being so self conscious. I think that's great, and I think that's a wonderful first step, and if that does it for you, then wonderful. At the very least, start with that.
If that doesn't do it all by itself, though, then you might need an extra push. Try making it fun. One way is to do a strip tease for him. Watch his anticipation as you dance around the room and as each piece of clothing falls to the floor. Or play a game that gets you naked (strip poker or the like.) Maybe start out making love in bed with the covers, like it sounds like you already do, then let him pull the covers off once your both naked, so you can both see each other.
In short, as long as it stays something scary, it's going to stay something scary. Find a way to make it fun to be naked, and it won't b scary any more. Like rock climbing. I'm terrified of heights, but when I'm rock climbing with a friend of mine, I have so much fun I forget to be afraid of being up high.
2006-06-07 15:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had your problem. Compared to mine, that is. I'm not that shy about being naked even when I'm overweight, but I can see my husband taking inventory every time I do it. I swear he can spot an extra roll or a few pounds on me faster than I can. Your husband sounds like a sweet sincere man though. Give him a chance. Try showing him your body gradually, maybe with lowered lighting or partial clothing. Maybe the more he likes it the more you will too. Try working out some to build up your confidence. Maybe even get a tan--real sun, not tanning beds.
2006-06-07 14:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thirty pounds overweight is nothing to be self-conscious about. You must not think very much about your husband, do you? If you really admired him you would trust him when he says he thinks you are beautiful. Do think he is a liar? That is the message you are giving him when you ignore his compliments and refuse to show him your body. Stretch marks are nothing to be ashamed of, and being a little overweight is also nothing to be ashamed of. If he is happy with you, why would you give a damn what other people may say or think. If I were your husband I would feel greatly insulted if my wife ignored my compliments and belittled my view of her beauty. Start out with dim lights--not PITCH black--and not operating-room bright either. Maybe even just a candle or two and little by little you will gain more confidence and your husband will feel like you trust him and his opinion of you.
2006-06-07 14:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Curious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem after kids and gaining weight... My husband told me he loved me for all of me not just my body and that God created him to need to see me naked. Your job as a wife is to please your husband; that is the way God ordained it. Trust your husband's love for you and share all of yourself with him. That is what marriage is about. Use candlelight and your favorite music. Reveal a little of your self at a time. You can do it. You we be quite presently surprised at how attractive you feel once you have shared all of yourself with him. The love of a good man can make any woman feel sexy. Trust me I know.
rb42redsuns' wife.
2006-06-07 21:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by rb42redsuns 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, this is the man that you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Your best friend. Try making love by candle light. He will see you, but in real good lighting. Don't worry so much. The guy loves you, he married you.
2006-06-07 14:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have went through this,,,, my ex was veery mean when it came to my body shape,, if i was 5 lbs over weight,, he would call me cow,, ect,, and the first man i was with after him,,, i couldnt get undressed in front of,,,,,, but then ,,, i went to the tanning bed,, ( a tan will hide all sorts of body flaws,,and it makes you seem thinner,,even an air brush tan) had my hair,, nails and toes done,, gained the self esteem i needed,,,,,,, now,,, i figure,,,,, if a man wants to be with me,,, he knows what i look likt with clothes on he can pretty much tell what my body will look like,,, so i am very open,, cause if he didnt like what he saw,,, we would never get far enough to have to worry about if i undressed in front of him,,,,,, not to mention it is true,,,, women see faults with their body that men honestly dont see,,,,, we worry about what we look like during sex,,, and they worry about what it feels like,,,,,, so go for it,,, stop worrying,, and enjoy the togetherness,,, the pleasure,,,,,,, the love,,,,,,,stop thinking about your body,,,,,
2006-06-07 14:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by heavenly662002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you have a seeeeeerious problem with an agoraphobic "ocd" problem that you have brought into your adulthood. This happens to people from time to time, your problem is not all that uncommon.....unfortunatley for you,..it's your responsibility to deal with and it isnt easy.....here's what you have to do,.....and not just "intend to do".....you have to throw your problem away like it is trash......you have to simply throw your ideas about yourself out the window and let "your guard down".....cuz thats' what your doing,...."guarding yourself"....theres a reason for this too and it has to do with your earlier years,...."what happened to you?".....something happened to cause you to be this way,.....if you can identify it, you'll be able to get rid of the problem......it's a problem and it's a responsibility, deal with it now and you'll be over it sooner than you can imagine....then you'll be happier.....i promise you!
2006-06-07 15:03:08 · answer #8 · answered by theoregonartist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try simple workouts and expand from there
take some time off and join a gym, they have programs
why are u afraid to show him your body
if it is a marraige arnt u feeling free to be naked in front of him and vice versa
2006-06-07 14:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by Bru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart i am 250lbs i am a mother of 3 and all u have to think about is he married you for the whole package he loves you for who u are not your insucrites with your body make it fun strip tease for hhim that will get u over ur fear
2006-06-07 14:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋