My 9 month old is very demanding and temperamental. He grunt and fake cries until he gets his way. please help

Question

I dont know what to do. Maybe he is spoiled. He doesnt entertain himself at all and I cant get anything done. Alot of people have told me to just let him cry but that just makes his fits worse each time. Does anyone have any suggestions? They would help so much. Thank you

Answer 1

He is definitely spoiled and he's discovered that he can manipulate you...and YOU are letting him.

Next time he's crying and he's not bleeding, has a broken bone or is on fire, ignore him. If he becomes vindictive (destructive because you're not paying attention), put him in time-out.

Answer 2

My gosh, i have been through so much with my oldest son (he is 6 now)...
Well, he cries for attention. You try to ignore it (you know he is fine, not sick, not hungry, and has a clean diaper), but you give up because you can't stand it anymore. He won. There is where he gets you.
I wish i could help better, but the big thing is make sure he is genuinely ok....and have patience. Try not to give in.
This doesn't help much, i know.
When he gets temperamental, that's ok, as long as he is not hurting himself or anything around him. If you give in, he learns that that is the way to obtain what he wants.
I have been through a lot with my son. He had a big crave for 100% attention since a baby. Then, when he was about a year and a half, we found out he had ear problems and wasn't hearing fine. A lot of his frustrations came from there, besides, he is a hard-to-manage/temperamental boy. He has been with speech pathologists, special education etc. There are a 'couple' things they tought me about behaviour too, so if u have any more Q's, maybe i can help you a little bit... But each child is a different world. I can't generalize.

Answer 3

He is at the age where if you have spoiled him he has learned how to manipulate you into doing what he wants you to to do he thinks he is in control of your actions,you need to show him you are in control not him if you keep giving in to him you are going to be what I call stepping and fetching your whole life that includes when he grows up and then the fits wont just be for a sucker they will be for much more and he will expect you to help him all the time when he should be learning for himself about actions and reactions and cause and effect.Do yourself and your child a favor start now, when he starts throwing a fit make sure he is ok and that something isnt really wrong besides the obvious give him something to occupy his attention,tell him you love him but that you cant play right now maybe later.Tell him you want him to stop his behavior it is not exceptable.I know he is only 9 months old but they understand more than you think.He's not stupid don't let him think you are.Let him do his thing eventually he will realize his actions dont get him what he wants and he will stop doing it be patient sometimes it take a while it will be harder on you than on him but eventually it will work ,but you must be consistant dont give in even for a moment start the process and dont stop.After a few minutes have passed and he does stop crying give him praise for being a good boy and resume what you where doing and then take some time with him shortly thereafter when you get a chance.Children can be alot of work but there is nothing more fun than teaching your child and watching him grow.Good luck to you stay firm.

Answer 4

I understand your frustration! My daughter was the same way.
First of all, keep in mind that he is only 9 months old! That is very little. 9-month-olds CANNOT be spoiled. He does not have the brain capacity to be doing this on purpose, so don't worry he's not "playing you." Babies cry because it's the only way they can tell you what's wrong. It's their communication. Perhaps he is frustrated or uncomfortable or tired. See if you can figure out what's wrong. You are his mother and you know him best. Play around with some solutions until one works. If he seems tired, maybe put him down for a nap before he gets cranky. Or if he just seems bored, maybe you could take him outside and lay him on a blanket while you do some work. The change of scenery may help. Sometimes you just need to let him whimper and cry to get his frustrations out. (Imagine if you were very, very frustrated and someone wouldn't let you cry!) Now if he's screaming his head off, that's another story. That's when you need to step in.

As for the entertaining himself thing, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but some kids are just like that. My son is very independent and has been entertaining himself since he was practically born. My daughter, on the other hand is 2 1/2 now and still needs my attention. It's very frustrating. When your baby is old enough you can begin teaching him ways to entertain himself. But even then, he might always be a little dependent. I found with my daughter that if I was very engaged with her for a certain amount of time (singing songs together, playing peek-a-boo, etc.), she would let me get a little work done immediately afterwards. (Not for very long, but still, it was something!) Maybe you could try that.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

At 9 months old a baby does not understand the ability to wait. A toddler can understand hold on a second and I'll get that where as a 9 month old functions off of instant gratification. You can not spoil a child at that age. Letting him Cry is okay, when you know he's clean, fed and no longer sleeping. Also separation anxiety happens during this time so you're baby might just want to be near you. Hold him rock him and love him, he'll grow out of it eventually. Don't worry he's not spoiled yet. Spanking at this age is not appropriate because they cannot comprehend it's meaning yet.

Answer 6

I'm not trying to insult you , but at 9 months i don't feel a baby understands too much the word " fake " , he is obviously needing something . If you have done everything possible for him , eg , fed , milked and doesn't need changing and its the time for sleeping , leave him , He just wants you , and you too have the right to a life , if you give in to him now , it will become worse with time , he'll learn soon , but you just have to bare with him , its hard when your own son cries and cries , but nip it in the bud now , the longer you leave it the harder it is !
Also at 9 months he still relies on you for stimulus , he is incapable of " entertaining himself " . A happy , stimulated child who knows he's loved very much will have a much better character than a dissatisfied baby ! Its hard work but stick at it , it's not forever , after he's a year ,you'll see a huge change , becoming less demanding and a little more independent .Enjoy

Answer 7

I have the same problem and also a two year old to deal with. I reccommend ignoring it and talking to him a little stearn. Baby's this age cannot communicate very well but they are starting to understand alot. If you get down and explain to him what your doing, or why he can't have something he'll get the picture soon enough, even if it means crying. Make sure he's had plenty of rest and isn't hungry. Nine month olds still require alot of sleep and two naps a day are reccommended. Mine takes two naps and is in bed by 7:00. Sleeping well will make for a cheerful baby.

Answer 8

You are out of your freaking mind if you spank your 9 month old child for being a baby. Your child is not spoiled! taking care of your child and loving your child is not spoiling in my book. My son is 3 months old and he does the same thing you described. What I do is go down my check list: Diaper Clean, He's fed and dry, he's not hot, he's not cold. Maybe your little one has a tummy ache or is teething. Maybe he's just bored and needs to be held by mommy for a little bit. If the above does not work for me, then I let him play in his crib with his toy's and he will more than likely fall asleep. Hitting your baby is not the answer! People shouldn't have children if they can't take what goes along with it. Your baby didn't do anything wrong or bad. He's just being a baby! Keep your head up and good luck!

Answer 9

Spanking is not the answer for a 9 month old. If he were older, then that would be an option. You need to not give in and allow him to cry it out a few times. Eventually, he'll get the idea that crying is not going to get him his way. The crying is nerve racking, I know. Make sure he is not hungry, doesn't have a tummy ache, or doesn't have a spoiled diaper. Give him some toys to play with.

Answer 10

DO NOT SPANK A 9 MONTH OLD CHILD. At his age, if you hit him, he would be very confused as to why "mommy" hit him, and honestly, it would make him cry even harder. If you continued to spank him, eventually it'll make him mean and resentful, then he'll start hitting people (you, other kids, etc.)

My 11 month old is the same way...he's very clingy. He's happiest when I'm holding him. It's unrealistic to think that I can hold him 24/7 as I have a two year old as well, plus a house to keep, food to cook, a job to go to, etc. All I can tell you is to let him cry. If you don't want to listen to it, or it's getting on your last nerve, put him in his crib and shut the bedroom door. He'll be fine, trust me.

Make sure he has lots of colorful, interesting, different toys and books to play with to keep his brain (and his little hands!) busy. You didn't mention if he was crawling yet. I can tell you from personal experience (with both of my children) that once they start walking, it's like having a totally different child. They can actually get up and walk (or crawl) to the toy box to get their own toys, instead of sitting there and screaming/crying until you get it for them. It's awesome!

Also, is he teething? At 9 months, he probably is, and that will make him irritable/cranky, too. Make sure he has lots of teething toys to chew on.

And a big old P.S. to you idiot @(#*$^#$ who actually told this woman to spank her INFANT child...I believe it's you who are raising the Jeffrey Dahmers and Columbine High School shooters of the next generation. Honest to God...who the f*ck actually thinks it's OK to hit an infant? (And I don't give a rat's @ss if you're talking about a slight swat on the hand...what is wrong with you people?)

Answer 11

He is almost 2 years old. get him some more interesting toy. as for the whining and grunting or fake crying ignore him. he will stop if he knows you arent going to give into what ever it is he is wanting.. make sure he isn't in wet diapers isn't thirsty. or hungary and then just ignore him. If all else fails you could pay attention to him and sit down and play with him.. maybe he just wants some attention. alot of kids will sit and watch tv. there are alot of things you could be doing with him.. take him for a walk. does he need a nap.? pay attention to him and you will figure out what it is that he wants most likely just attention.. good luck