My boyfriend is in rehab for cocaine abuse.. I need some advice?

Question

I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I've been through a lot with him and I could never imagine being without him. He broke up with me a few days ago for really no reason at all. He called me last night and said he's just been having weird feelings about everyone, even his father. He said he doesn't want to end up hurting me if he goes back to drugs.
I really love him and want to support him as much as possible. Is there any hope for him? I pray every night that he'll be strong through all of this. He gets to come home in 2 weeks and I'm scared of whats going to happen. Is there anything I can do to keep him away from the drugs? I'm so scared..

Answer 1

It's so hard to watch someone you love battle drugs. You want to take them and just hide them away from all the temptation of the drug. There's really not much you can do besides let him know that you love him and that you are there for him. I know he's afraid of both hurting AND disappointing you. He doesn't want YOU to watch HIM spiral downward.

Just continue to be strong and let him know that you want the best for him. He's going to have to make his own decisions, and one of those will be to STAY OFF OF DRUGS. You can't do that for him, as much as you want to ~ you just can't.

My heart goes out to you sweetheart, you are not in an easy place right now. I wish the best for you both.

Gentle hugs to you, Marilyn

Answer 2

Okay first and foremost question: Did he go in drug rehab on his own or was he put in there by the police or other establishment? The second question is: Does he for his ownself acknowledge the fact he is a drug addict and needs help? If your answer to the last question is no then the answer to the first question obviously would be he was put there.

To become and remain in a relationship with a drug addict or drug and alcohol addict is not healthy for you. He will be more useful and more loving toward you if you gave him tough love. Outside of supporting him and praying for him, that's all you can do. The decision of staying away from the drugs and alcohol must come from him not you. Tell him how his drug abuse has affected you in your relationship with him. Be honest with your feelings and don't sugar coat anything. If he trully cares about you and your relationship, he will want to change his ways not only for himself but for you as well. Good luck to you and I wish the two of you the best!

Answer 3

aside from not doing them yourself and offering them to him no there really isn't much you can do. he's not even out of rehab yet and he's already considering relapsing...thats not a good sign. it means he's still giving himself permission to do them (if he does drugs again), if he's going to have that attitude he might just as well say when he does drugs again. the best you can do is not let him drag you down with him, yes you love him and want to do what you can for him, etc etc however the facts are that there isn't anything you can do, he has to do it for himself. he needs to stay away from the people he did drugs with and the places he did them, he probably won't. you are too young to be messed up in all this stuff, in the meantime educate yourself about the addiction, the drug, there are groups for friends and family members of addicts, they've been where you are. its not a nice way to live though, always worrying whether they'll do it again or not. be supportive but don't be so involved that you screw up your own life over his problem, you may think it is but that is NOT love. take care of yourself, make something of yourself, be successful yourself, if he decides to remain in the real world, fine he can be in your company but make sure he can't screw your stuff up if he doesn't. that sounds harsh but you need to deal with the reality of the situation, trying to turn it into some love conquers all fairy tale doesn't help anyone, it just doesn't work that way..you aren't dealing with HIM you are dealing with the drug, the person you know is just a shell housing a drug addicted monster and that is ALL he cares about and will be the only thing he can concentrate on for quite some time. don't pressure him to be a good boyfriend or anything like that, all of his energy needs to be devoted to getting his head right. good luck to you.

Answer 4

I think that you care about him very much and he could see that; this is enough for him if he loves you to stop the drugs. But, don't get fooled by that; once you tried staying away is not so easy. Most people follow the same path over and over again. The fact that he wanted to break up with you shows that he doesn't want to put you through this whole situation. Be brave and sometimes even hard on him if you see that he wants to take drugs again. Perhaps, if he finds a job that keeps him occupied and new friends there is still hope.

Answer 5

Of course there's hope for him....but he has to be trying to get clean because HE wants to get better, not just to please others or it'll never work. I have been where you are.....I had to walk away from someone I love for my own safety, but when he decided to get clean and stay that way we reunited and are happier than ever before. He is doing great and I don't think he would go back to that life for anything.

You can't stay with someone for fear that your leaving will cause a relapse. If it's not right for you, you have to get out. At the same time you shouldn't run from him because he's had a problem....he could beat it and be okay. You just have to let things play out and see what happens and what's best for you.

There's no right answer to this question, sorry, but there are support groups that may help you find your way. You may want to look and see what groups are available to you in your area.

Good luck.

Answer 6

first of all hun there is nothing you can do to keep him off of drugs if he wants to do drugs he will do them no matter how much rehab he goes through. secondly he is right he will end up hurting you while on drugs . you need to move on with your life even tho it hurts before you get hurt badly cause first it will start out him lying then calling you names and putting you down then he will end up breaking things then it will get worse and he will end up hitting you and saying hes sorry but he dont mean it and the beatings will get worse and more severe

get away while you still have time

Answer 7

Girl I know its hard. I have had to deal with this with my husband. I know if he really wants to change he can he may mess up but thats normal. Its a descision you have to make. If you feel safe with him and dont have to worry about abuse i say to stay because you may be the key to keeping him strong with your love and support so he wont go back hope this helps. I know its hard but i also know it can be the best just trust in the Lord and you can get the answer you need

Answer 8

Drop the loser, find someone who will treat you right and not put you through this. Do you really want to have to deal with all of this? Drugs are nearly impossible to quit. He will go back and back most likely. There is someone out there who will love you and treat you like a woman should be treated.

Answer 9

Well, let me tell u the best advice for this kind of situation..."Keep him away from any kind if crowd, whose basic idea of entertainment is to cut another line of cocaine, even if they think it is a weekend thing or whatever. Stay the hell away from that kind of crowd and surround ur boyfriend with people that are against it and do other better things in life for thrills. The first sign of any group with cocaine involved is ur first best sign to keep ur boy friend away from them. They should have signs that read "keep cocaine out of reach from teenagers....loll" I am serious I know from experience.

Answer 10

I would just break up with him. Because once he's addicted he's going to have a lot of trouble stopping. There is very little hope for him. Your best bet would be to find a guy who doesn't do drugs, or drink.