What can I do?

Question

We have been married for 2 years and she is working in one of the top advertising companies in the country. She is more carrer minded than I am and in a sense, more successful than I. I only run a business with my shop. I must also add, she is also beautiful and attractive.. This is what other people also said.

In a sense, all these suit her. She is very extrovert, very strong willed, very determined and demanding. That is also why she could rise to the top of her company so fast. I must admit, there are many occasions I can't keep up with her requirements. There are just certain things I can't provide for her. Still, we managed to love each other and give and take.

Recently, her boss has decided to go overseas to set up a venture. She was selected to go with him to do that. She told me they would be there for 3 years. She was very adamant to go as this is a chance to prove herself and also to get promoted. She is also very willing to go even though it will be very stressful.

The problem now is that, she will be leaving me and for 3 years. This is very unacceptable for a marriage.

Besides, I really worry about her being seduced. Some people may feel I should not be too inward looking, but in her business, she talks to clients, have dinner with them and sometimes drinks with them. She is very career minded.

Besides, as this is a very demanding job, she will be under a lot of stress and there will be no one there to be with her.

Moreover, she will also be with her boss most of the time, working together in a far away land, sometimes till late at night.

I really worry for our marriage and worry about her remain faithful. She is also rather attractive. In fact, a few months after our marrriage, an old flame still called her up when he did not know we are married.

I really worry she may do something stupid. 3 years is also a very long time and she also needs solace time and again.

What can I do?

Answer 1

This is really cheesey, but fitting... If you love someone, set them free....

What is meant to be will be. You have to trust and have faith in your wife. And of course you could go visit. Don't try to stop her dreams from coming true. That is the worst you could do.

Answer 2

Marriages have endured longer periods of time than 3 years. Look at the men and women in the service. Doesn't always work but it is possible. This is one of those things where it's hard to tell the future. If she doesn't go, she's going to be missing an opportunity of a lifetime and if it's because you don't want her to, she may regret that for a long time and that will cause problems too. You are in a dilemma!! I hope it works out for you both. You sound like you actually trust her as a rule (just this is a "situation"). Hang in there and hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 3

Traditionally I say this was totally unacceptable but one must account for knowing what your getting yourself into and make allowances for what comes with such responsibility and obligation to ones career...I am sure you knew that this could be a possible scenario you could be faced with sooner or later..of course neither makes it any easier of a decision...everyone has choices to make...I would feel I had to support my wifes decision on this...what ever it may be...and accept the consequences to come...and there will be some...the worse costing you your marriage but time will tell which is stronger...her career and yours or the love you share between yourselves...the choice is yours to make....your a lucky guy to have such a successful wife but I wouldn't trade places with you right now...I can only imagine how tough this is...good luck.

Answer 4

i think u should discuss your feelings with your wife. why don't you consider moving away with her and find a place where you both can reside together. 3 years is too long. make sure that there is nothing else going on there. i heard of promotions and business else where, do to I am in the business industry, but that seems too long......good luck.

Answer 5

I think you should go w/ her if that is an option because I think it would be very hard to maintain a marriage when the two of you are so far away.

Answer 6

can you close up or sell your business to go with her? ask her if she would like that? your marrage may be over and she is leaving to see if she enjoys her freedom or if she will stick it out with you till someone better comes along.