I want my friend to know that I love him as a friend but I don't agree with his lifestyle. I don't want him thinking that I judge him or that I'm a negative person just because I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I believe that his homosexuality is just an excuse to make the world who spit on him and pushed him into lockers in high school, like him and accept him. How do I tell him that without him getting offended? And with him fully understanding what I have to say?
2006-06-07 06:12:28 · 23 answers · asked by melmei 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well then don't judge him that's not your place. Make sure that he knows that you love him and support him. But you need to remember that it is not your place to judge God will do that when the time comes. If you love him just accept him and look at him as a person. Its not your job or right to try and change him and if you do really care about him then you can look past the fact that he is homosexual, and just look at him as a friend. There should be no need to try and make sure that he knows you don't agree with his lifestyle. I have homosexual friends and I don't agree with it but I'm not crappy enough to tell them that. It would hurt them, and I don't think thats really my place. As much as we say that is not judging it really is.
2006-06-07 06:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by ffantasy1984 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think some of the answers said it very well, politely, but don;t over do it. Say what you have to say ONE TIME, and then leave it alone. If you are honestly that good of freinds you will not push your views on him as he will not push his on you.
Maybe by being friends, and accepting each other, you can see that his choice has nothing to do with ppl picking on him. My question is...why did ppl pick on him? Was he feminiine? Did they call him names? Likely if that's true your reasoning is backwards. He's not gay because he got picked on, he got picked on because he is gay. That's possibly why it took him so slong to come out to you. If you are truly his friend, you will continue to support him and be there for him even if you don't agree with his choices.
And my question is also..how would coming out as gay make the world accept or like him more? Now he is not only dealing with the hostility of those other people, but now has to deal with opposition from his friend(s). It is likely not going to make anyone like him more or accept him, if anything it will make it harder, so try to support him as best you can.
2006-06-07 13:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by scorp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't. Whether you want to believe it or not, you are judging him. You don't have to agree with his lifestyle. But if you're truly his friend, you will love him unconditionally. That includes letting him live his life the way HE wants to, not how you think he should live it. And you talk to everyone the same way....regardless of how they live their life. Don't change how you treat him just because of how he chooses to live his life. He probably doesn't want you to walk on eggshells around him. Leave him alone about it. Would you want him running his mouth about something you did that he didn't agree with? He doesn't force homosexuality on you, so you don't have the right to force heterosexuality on him.
2006-06-07 13:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STUDY Learn and Love. Read Mel Whites books
My family says they love me but they don't accept the lifestyle and that is judgement. Sorry!! He can not help who he is and many teens have taken there own lives because of being picked on and not knowing why they were given this life to live. Remember God made him who he is.
If you really want to understand read this link which is a letter written by a minister to a family member that thought her brother was going to hell for being gay. It may open your eyes.
2006-06-07 14:42:06 · answer #4 · answered by azgraywolf143 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o.k. you dont make much sense because you are judging him by saying you think the only reason he's gay is to be accepted when really that's just a judgement because you have no proof also how is being gay gonna get him accepted gay people all over the world are trying to be accepted and it's an on going battle
2006-06-07 13:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by candidworker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't how homosexuality has to do with him being accepted. If anything it is the opposite. If he wanted to be accepted he would try not to be gay. Try to learn a little about the thing you're bashing, because as much as you might not like to believe it, it's not his choice.
2006-06-07 20:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by holidayspice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple....IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY DONT SAY IT... AT ALL!
Just accept him as the way he is and carry on friendship as usual with him. If he crosses the line, then it is wise to give your ****. At this point, accepting him as a human/friend is good enough! What he chooses and choices are not your problems. If you comfortable being seen with/around him, go ahead, if you are not, avoid him nicely but dont be horrible towards him.
2006-06-07 13:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are real friends then there is no question of getting hurt, because you both know whatever the two of talk or share is genuine. so dont try to polish, or be a hypocrit...come out straight but with tact and wisdom...should have no problems i guess....but first be sure you ARE FRIENDS otherwise you need to be a bit political in your approach
2006-06-07 13:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by really_confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you straight because you didn't get picked on? I mean really people do not "Choose" to be gay. If you love your friend as much as you say you do, it shouldn't matter who he is sleeping with. A guy spit on me in junior high and I am not gay. I am a very straight married mom.
2006-06-07 13:19:59 · answer #9 · answered by Wilma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to bring it up at all? If he is a good friend, is it possible for you just to accept him and what he says about himself?
You say you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in, which is great! Do you believe in him as a person? Is it possible just to stand up for him as he is or claims to be without going further?
Personally, I think he's lucky to have someone who cares about him and wants to help him -- despite what else you say, which is, yes... judegemental.
2006-06-07 13:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by blueowlboy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋