Is this confusing?

Question

a long time ago margie and samuel adopted heather. Then heather had me. She couldn't take care of me because of drugs, alcohol etc. So, margie and samuel adopted me. I don't know who my biological father is. Then in 2000 heather had another baby, kyleigh and she knows who the father is then 3 years later she had another one Brayden, and she knows who the father is. Right now she is pregnant with her 4th child. I don't know why this is so hard for me to deal with. I want to spend time with heather to get to know her better, but everytime i do i have an anexiety attack. My heart starts racing, and i start to sweat. My blood pressure goes up really high like 145 over 93. (that's what it was the last time any way. I am not really sure what to do. I am fine with just heather's kids, but then when she comes that all changes. WHAT DO I DO? I am seeing a counselor, but i don't think that it is helping. I take Welbutrin XL for depression, and a sleeping pill. Nothing seems to work. What do i do

Answer 1

I'm sorry that your mom isn't really a mom to you. Maybe you need to not see her too much til you're older and better able to deal with it. Don't think you're abnormal or anything, this all is a lot to deal with for someone of any age. Don't try to "be the parent" when you see Heather. This could be one cause for anxiety, if you put pressure on yourself to try to fix her life etc. If you feel like you're in danger from her, you should ask not to see her. What I would do is see a pastor, God really will help you through this if you ask him.

Answer 2

I'd say see a counselor, but you already are. I'm sure it's psychological. Perhaps you just aren't ready to deal with her. Try writing down your feelings about her or talking to your adoptive parents about why you might be feeling this way. Good luck!