My parents moved like 1800 miles away from home and my husband and kids and I decided to follow to just try it out and because they wanted us to so much. Well it's been 2 yrs now and my husband has been miserable wanting to move back home and it's wreaked a LOT of havoc on my marriage. But recently I realized I also want to move back home and we have put our house for sale and told my parents and they had a very bad reaction saying I am making a huge mistake by moving so far away from them and now the subject is NEVER mentioned.. it's like a huge white elephant in the room all the time. I dont even really want to be around them any more because I dont feel comfortable... but yet I love them and miss the relationship we used to have. Any suggestions on how to deal with them? They just seem to be acting like it's not even going to happen. :-( And yet I dont really have the guts to bring it up because of how they are about it.
2006-06-07 05:19:04 · 8 answers · asked by dream_fairy55 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow thanks so much for all the great responses... they really truly help me out!!!!!
2006-06-07 05:51:22 · update #1
You know, it seems like they didn't take much stock in how you would feel about THEM moving, they didn't consider how it would affect you, they just assumed you'd follow. Just start mentioning how your house is selling and see what that opens up from them. You shouldn't feel bad about it because your parents have their own lives and so do you and your family. Tell them that you love them and you are going to miss them but you aren't happy where you are and you need to do what's best for your family and they should love you and respect that and want you to be happy.
2006-06-07 05:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by sgrjackson1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some parents act different ways when they find their child leaving. They only want the best for you and for some reason they don't believe that moving away from them is best for you. On the other hand, it is your life and you have to do what you feel is the right thing for your family. Maybe your parents feel that they will lose control of your life with you moving away. There will be hard feelings at first, but hopefully they will come around. I truly wish you the best. Always do what is in your heart. You can't go wrong with your instincts.
2006-06-07 13:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As unpleasant as it is, you're going to have to work up the nerve to talk it over with them. Explain to them that you love them and that you really want to keep those emotional ties, but that you are not happy living where you currently are. Reassure them. Explain your own wants and needs. They may seem to act irrationally at first, but hopefully in time they will come to understand. I'm sure the whole reason they want you close is because they love you too. Certainly it would be difficult to be very far away from them, but sometimes it's simply necessary. Maybe tell your parents ahead of time that you really want to discuss this with them and plan a time, so that everyone is prepared for the subject to be brought up. If you can all keep it calm, certainly some conclusions can be reached!
2006-06-07 12:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by Raven Ardent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents should not be mad because THEY were the ones who were first to move. Say that to them. Then tell them that the move is not working for you and your family and you are moving back, not staying. If they want to be closer to you then they could move closer too. If they dont want to move then you will just have to visit them a few times a year and you can call them on the phone whenever. Just move. It is their fault that you will live so far apart, not yours. Do whatever is best for your husband and kids.
2006-06-07 12:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by Educated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omigod girl you are the adult now you have a family and only you know what is good for you let me tell you i moved out of my folks house at19 because we didn't get along at all my brother moved out at 18 now i am 22 with a newborn and about to get married
distance brought us closer together i think you need the distance and the move may make your marriage better not to mention the sex
but your mommie and daddy need to grow up on this one they WILL GET OVER IT. trust me if not you just got some attached parents that wanna keep an eye on there little girl it's all love.
2006-06-07 12:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi not sure how i would deal with this situation if faced with it , i'm really close to my parents they're a really imported part of my life but you all really need to get your heads together and talk this through, it's the only way forward. after all it shouldn't make a difference the distance between you, there are so many ways to stay in touch! and i feel that you are doing what you think is best for your own family unit. i wish you lots of luck
2006-06-07 12:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by kelly k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always the best once ur married u move out start ur own family and hav ur own life and of course u can always visit ur parents and in laws.But staying wit them or near them can always cause misundertsandings like this.
U cant go on forever like this being wit them and feeling uncomfortable.Talk to them for one last time and tell them u hav decided its the best for everyone.At least tell them you ll move away for time being till the condition improves.
We all love our parents and dont wanna hurt them in any possible ways.Coz they love us and they want us to be happy rite?. If by moving away ur gonna be happy then ther s nothing wrong in doing so.talk very politely and tell them distance doesnt matter you ll always love them and they ll always hav u.Or just say tht ur husband wants to move away for some time for some reason(job or just say honestly its wrecking ur marriage)and u dont hav any option but to move.
Tht s all i can think for time being.Talk to ur mom,she should be able to understand tht its time to let her gal go.gud luck
2006-06-07 12:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dr.Hanz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you and your husband have a family now. This means you have to do what's best for ya'll, not others. sometimes it's hard for parents to let go, but assure them that just because you move back doesn't mean things are gonna change. You can still visit and so can they, call emial, write, cards. etcc. don't give up. Later they will understand and be proud.
2006-06-07 12:24:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋