I had a question on here before 22, 5 kids, married and depressed now what do I do? I am pregnant again?

Question

I had asked a question on here before that I am 22, married have 2 biological boys 2 and 5 and 2 step daughters 2 and 5 and have an 8 year old foster child who is an evil child. I have been very depressed lately and can't figure out why. I am a full time college student, nice house, 4 cars, good kids, except my foster child who is a terror.She told me on friday that she was gonna kill me and my bastard child. I requested that she be removed but, I have to wait 30 days. Anyways, I found out last week that I am almost 2 months pregnant could that be why I am so depressed?

This goes to the girl who says she doesn't see how I could be telling the truth. First of all I put this question on here trying to get help not to hear bullshit. So back off. Secondly, the law in Wisconsin is you have to put a 30 day notice in to the foster care licensing company so that they have ample time to find another foster home that would be able to help the child. If you still don't understand here is the number to call and ask what the regulations and rules are 262-656-8430. This is the number to the foster care licensing office known as the Community Impact Foster Care Program.

A few more details to add that I am not fully married to this man yet our wedding is scheduled for July 7th. Also, My foster child has been in our home since August 8th of last year the visits with her biological mother just kinda started so that could be a big thing but, yet when I ask her what's going on she doesn't answer me she doesn't listen to me. I tried to explain to her that she would have to leave but, she says that she isn't going anywhere. On friday when all of it happened the police came and took her to school then the social worker came after school and took her to another foster home for the weekend but, she liked it there so it wasn't much of a punishment.

Answer 1

Hi Cindy, I can't help you but I just want to say, I hope you'll feel better soon, think of yourself for a change not those around you.

I can't believe some of the responses you are getting, why do children feel the need to answer adult questions that they don't understand?

Take Care Vicky xxxx

Answer 2

I think you do need help. You might even consider if you are able to raise an other child right now. If I read your story, I would say that you are not able and that you will make the situation worse.

About your foster child, there are no evil children. Probably she is very troubled.
It sounds to me that there are too many problems in your family and that you all react different on that. This child might be very angry because she isn't loved enough. She will definately feel that you think of her as evil. Poor child! She is only 8!

You might be depressed because you don't have the situation in your hands.

Pleas look for professional help, so this doesn't get anymore out of hand then it already is!
I have the idea from your question that it only goes downhill, like a huge downwards spiral. Make shure for yourself and your (foster-) children that it doesn't go much further down! There are good professionals who can help you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to make TWO trips to the therapist: One for you, one for your foster daughter. You've got an unbelieveable amount of stress on you, not to mention the hormones that pregnancy is throwing at you. Oh, and here's an important question: Where's your HUSBAND?? It's a partnership, yo, and I haven't heard you say a word about him. (Sorry, hubby, if you're being supportive...) As for your foster daughter, I have no idea what her history is, but given the reason she's there with you, chances are her "herstory" isn't pretty. A therapist for her isn't just a suggestion, it's a NECESSITY, especially if she's threatening homicide. That's serious stuff. And therapy doesn't mean she's crazy or evil. It just means she's been given a bad lot in life and she needs some help to find her peace. Like I said, I only got a bit of your story, but try not to give up on this kid too soon. I guarantee she's not evil, just scared and alone and (maybe extremely) misguided and she'll appreciate it if someone sticks by her, even if she acts like an idiot. Sometimes that's a kid's way of asking for help. Remember, you're the adult. Oh, and if money's a problem, I'll bet there's aplenty of government money out there. Don't make excuses for not getting either of you help.
Good luck!

Answer 4

You must have some great friends you can trust?
Let them listen and confide in them. It doesn't matter if others judge you behind your back, words can't hurt you. Yes I know about unrully , evil foster children. Her memory will show you how wonderful of a job you are doing with the other kids.
My cousin recieved 4 sisters, foster care, right before Christmas. The oldest in kindergarten had to be sent away,because her mouth was foul. And the even older 8 year old was never even concidered for a placement. both are with different older relatives where they are each an only child. Look into any possible distant relatives, or don't even let it cross your mind anymore.Your worth it girl!!! Pregnancy can be hard on your body and mind, but at your age it shouldn't be noticeable, so you may need intervention with your doctor, see if any downers or muscle relaxents are safe.Without knowing it My 5 kids have appreciated the care I have taken of my mind.
I absolutely love going to the chiropracter and also recieving massages there! Its great to do for yourself!!!!!!!

Answer 5

I read both of your questions and the biggest point that I saw that was not listed in this question was about the upcoming marriage. If you are doing the planning, school, and kids it has to be a stressful time to make sure that everything is going right. Personally I would lead towards it is probably caused from cold feet or questions about what will happen once the marriage takes place. I think that you will be fine in a few months when that part of the stress is gone. Try to take time to yourself to relax each day. I know that this is kinda humorous, even if it is sitting on the porch alone for 10 minutes it will help!

Answer 6

My mom has 6 kids (ages 3-17) and she started feeling depressed when she had the last one. To add to it my s-dad is in the Navy and he was out to sea for 6 months when the youngest was only 1. Since then, she's been to a doc and been taking some anti-depressants. She has also gotten very involved in her churh. Now she's homeschooling 5 of the kids (I'm in college 15 hours away) and not depressed...even with all the stress. Talk with a doctor and maybe schedual somethin to do with a friend or group of friends once a week and get a babysitter for the kids so you can relax.

Answer 7

the pregnancy could be the cause or the stress the child is giving you make you depressed
go somewhere the kids can run around and you cn just sit and watch and relax or read a book
if the foster child is new he is doing this because he knows you will send him back he is doing it on purpose.
if you really want him to stay try to spend some time with him just you and him give him some responsibility make him feel like he is part of the family and let him know he is the big brother and his siblings look up to him. start there

Answer 8

Have you been reminising about lost youth? 4 kids and being preggers again would be enough to put me in the loony bin, LOL. As for the foster child, if you report you were threatened they will move her butt out of there a whole lot faster. When was your last night out with hubby? Try to get some "me" time and see if you feel any better after that, if not you should mention it to your docter. Good Luck

Answer 9

Sound like you have a lot of stress in your life, you are non-stop going all the time, do you ever sleep? Being pregnant may help cause your depression, but it sounds like everything else going on in your life may have contributed more, I would watch myself, your body could reject your baby if your are too stressed. I know it may sound impossible, but after the foster child has left, dedicate at least 20 mins a day just to yourself. It could be as simple as taking an extra long shower, or napping when your children do.

Anyway take care of yourself, I know its hard to remember your needs, when all you are concerned with are the needs of you children and husband.

Answer 10

Wow! You have a lot on your plate at such a young age. You sound to be under a lot of stress. Hopefully things will get better for you when the foster child leaves. Ask for help from your husband and also from any near by friends and family. We all need help sometimes. Tell your doctor you are depressed, he/she may be able to offer you some options on some things to get you feeling better. Good luck to you.

Answer 11

I cant see how you are telling the truth. Sorry. No agency would make a foster child stay in a home if the foster parent requested a removal.