what's more important, the "why" or the "how do i change it"?

Answer 1

Actually, with many behavior, it's easy not to know EXACTLY why you act a certain way... and yet you can develop routines to change your behavior.

Does an obese person have to understand why they eat so much? Does someone afraid of abandonment have to know exactly who violated them when younger and how much? No, not really.

In fact, this is what cognitive behavior therapy is about. You don't need to understand exactly why you do what you do, you just have to see its effect NOW on your life, determine you want to change, and basically learn how to challenge your own misperceptions and realign yourself to act in a healthy manner.

As far as which is more important, it depends on your motivation. If you want to change, "how" is more important than "why" (although "why" often can be useful in determining "how" to change).

If you just want to understand the behavior, "why" becomes more important.

Since life seems to be active rather than passive, I'm not sure of the point in just learning why I have certain problems; to mature and grow, I need to be applying my knowledge as well.

Answer 2

most definitely the how do i change it....the why is often times completely irrelevant, sometimes things just are, not to mention the why has already happened and can't be changed, the only influence you have is over what you can do to change it. i actually once had a big problem getting stuck on the why of things, so stuck i didn't get anywhere until i realized who cares why? just do something about what comes next. the why might be useful at a later time when you can reflect on it and perhaps learn from it to avoid the same situation in the future but thats about all its good for.

i wonder though, what situations sprang to mind as people answered this question. for me a house fire that killed two small children..there is no why thats good enough for that just how to go on after it or ending up phobic and afraid to leave the house for a long time, the why didn't matter just how to get out of it.

Answer 3

Divinity knows the why. Humans can only guess (and some guesses are worse than others). How to change something is very practical. It involves that which you can do and understand.

This is not a matter of importance. If you could know the why, but still do nothing, no change takes place. If you know the how, this can be communicated easily to those who might need the information. To change Reality, one must Do, not just Think.

Answer 4

People always understand the question why. Early childhood gave us the instinct to ask why. Only until you really understand the importance of the why will you understand the importance on how to change it.
I am an equal oppurtunist I think both are equally important.
Here's a question: Why we would we want to change it?

Answer 5

The how. It doesn't matter why something is the way it is, only what you do to correct it. They why may have some bearing on the how, but the how is the most important part of any equation.

Answer 6

i think that the "why" is more important because it is a lot easier to change something is you understand the cause......

Answer 7

the why first and then you know how to change it. In order to loose weight a person must know why they gain it in order to prevent it. We have to know why terrorists exist so that we know how to defend ourselves and make necessary caution. A person needs to know why they maybe don't have a mate so that they can correct the exact behavior that prevents them from having one etc..

Answer 8

How. If you know that something needs to be changed, then you already know Why.GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

Why becasue then you'll know what happened AND then you'll work out from that how to change that.

Answer 10

without knowing the why, you can't change it

I like you nick!