My husband has been in ukraine for the past week and will be there for 2-3 more weeks for military training.(He's a Marine) So, for the past week, I've been meeting this guy that i met through a friend. I didn't think that I'd feel attracted or like him, but I do. I can't stop calling and thinking, even though I try to. Close friends tell me to not go throught with it. Don't get me wrong here, I have the greatest husband. He's patient, sweet, loving, everything a women would want. I'm trying so hard to not do anything, but It's only a matter of time before i break. But, am I only feeling like I like this guy because my husband is gone? Am I cheating to a point? I want to stay faithful to my commitment. What should I do? Should I follow my feelings or my heart that doesn't want to pay the price?
2006-06-07 04:55:01 · 28 answers · asked by princess_in_need 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you love and respect your husband and respect the vows you made made when you married him, cut off all communication with this man. When my Marine husband was in Iraq, I had some male friends that, let's say, wanted to be a little more than friends. But because I love my husband and because I respect the sanctity of marriage, I stayed faithful. You know what you need to do and that's staying true to your vows.
2006-06-07 05:05:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know what is real sad about this question- He is going to serve our country and has only been gone a week- what do you think the wives do who's husbands are gone for months at a time- I am sure they don't cheat- especially when he just left. Your husband no longer got on the plane when you met this guy. I say you don't take your relationship serious and you would cheat on him no matter what. You have feelings for this guy you just met? Come on- you should have still been missing your husband. If you feel for this guy and you are calling and meeting him- yes you are cheating. How would you feel if your husband did this- you would say he was cheating. What I can't believe is that you did it so soon. You don't love your husband or you wouldn't even be thinking or doing the things you are. That is what is wrong with marriage- No-one takes it seriously anymore. You shouldn't say you are TRYING HARD not to do anything- you just shouldn't even be tempted- My God he has been gone a week!!!!!!
2006-06-07 05:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay faithful than do so. Stop seeing the guy, stop calling him, have a friend tell him why and that you want zero contact with him.
Your actions make me think your not so happy in your marriage.
If you feel the need to be with this other guy then let your husband go before you do! He doesn't deserve the mistrust and the real horrible effect a spouse that cheated can have on someone.
What if the grass is not greener with this other guy? Then where does that leave you? You cheated, the grass isn't greener, and your husband will leave you if he has any self respect
If you just need a sexual realease, well, take matters into your own hand.
2006-06-07 05:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez...your man's only been gone a WEEK and you can't even contemplate keeping your pants on??? Give me a break.
What is going to happen when you find out he's getting deployed overseas (being a Marine, it will most likely happen sooner or later)? He could be gone 3, 6, 12, or even 18 months - maybe longer.
If you LOVE your husband and RESPECT your husband, you need to do some serious soul searching before he gets back to the States. You need to determine if you do in fact want to continue a relationship with this man, of if you just want to be an immature brat and screw around... married or not.
2006-06-07 05:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some might say that you are emotionally cheating on your husband. The life of a millitary wife is a difficult and often a lonely one. Next time your husband comes home have a long talk with him about what his career means for your marriage and what, if anything, can be done so far as communication to make you feel more connected to your husband while he is away.
Good luck
2006-06-07 05:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by robbet03 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woman follow your heart of course you already know this. You will commit the act if you keep associating with this guy and if he is any kind of a man when you tell him you want to remain faithful to the husband you already have he will understand. Your friends are right don't do it!! Call your husband or if you cannot call write him a letter every time you get the itch. Please don't make a mistake if you are truly in love with your husband it will hurt him sooo much. Be faithful and true to who you are and what you already have made with someone else!!!
2006-06-07 05:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by linhaal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is in the military, if I couldn't handle it I wouldn't have married him. You are setting yourself up for failure by admitting that it's only a matter of time. Think about your wedding vows, you are a married woman, start acting like it! This isn't a Soap opera or Sex in the City. This is life with a real husband and real consequences. If your having a problem, talk to your husband, you do after all owe him that.
Don't try to fool yourself by saying you can't help it, you most certainly can. Cut off all contact with the other man, YOU ARE TAKEN! If you don't control yourself after admitting your problem to your husband, he deserves far better.
2006-06-07 05:27:47 · answer #7 · answered by killertatertot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have felt like this once. My best medicine was stop seeing the other person, as much as I wanted to. After a month or so I realized what I had for the other guy was just a fling and today I know how I trully love my husband. Don't trow everything to the air for something not real.
2006-06-07 05:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Gisele 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are even asking us shows us that you are feeling guilty for spending time with the guy and that you are starting to develop feelings for him. You should listen to your conscience and start spending less time with him. I know that you would like to be friends with him, but if you spend too much time, not only would you like to be friends, but also more. You are in charge of what you feel and what you do. If you feel that you can be friends with him without falling for him, by all means, hang out with him. If you feel that you will become unfaithful to a man that loves you and cares for you, then don't hang out with him. You can even strike a balance to where you hang out with the other guy once a month/every other month. The less time you spend with him and the more time you spend with your husband will reduce the sparks you feel for the other guy. I would also let your husband know that you are missing him and that you miss him holding you. Then you should also go and make friends with other women that are in similar situations as you. They are going through what you are going through and are there to help you. Good luck!
2006-06-07 06:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by glamorouskat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would you tell your husband about this man and the way you feel about him?...if the answer is "no"...then yeah, you are cheating to a certain point...Do you think your husband likes spending so much time away from home? SERIOUSLY ACT LIKE YOU WANNA BE MARRIED, if you wanna sleep around, break up for god sakes! Show your husband some respect and don't drag your husband down in your soon to be misery.
2006-06-07 05:04:22 · answer #10 · answered by maxine553 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋