My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years and he is still very insecure and childish about it. I have never gave him any reason to be insecure, I am always telling him and showing him that I love him, but that doesn't work. I never go out with friends or even just to the mall. The only thing I actually do alone is go to the grocery store and to and from work. I am not saying that I have to go out every weekend, but some "me" time is very much needed. I can't be myself in fear that he will get mad. And if I am 5 minutes late from work he thinks I am with some one else. He is always using the phrases: "You want to be with someone else","go find someone else","you're acting funny", and many more. I am really going crazy! I walk on egg shells everyday and one of the reasons I don't go out is I know if I mention it it will just lead to a big fight and then going out would not even be worth it. I always am encourageing him to go out with some buddies. PLEASE HELP!
2006-06-07 04:43:37 · 11 answers · asked by Luis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just lived though the same thing for 6 years. I he didnt like me going out with friend and he never wanted to go out with me he wouldnt even go out with his own friends. he always needed attenion and was insecure. I dont know how you are holding up but all of this made me verry depressed. I loved the man with all my heart but i couldnt be happy with him. so i say if he is not willing to go to counseling with you then get yourself out of that situation befor it ends who you are if you know what i mean. that stuff can make you dead inside. I know you love him please try to get him help.
2006-06-07 04:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you 're going through. I am going through the same thing with my husband. He and I have been together for just over two years and been married just two months. I thought when I left my previous marriage of 16 yrs, he would realize that I wanted only to be with him and that I love him with all my heart. However, he's still got that insecure feeling in him and questions my every move and my whereabouts. I give him some leaway because he is not from this country and was hurt by his previous wife. I try to remind him that she and I are two different people and because some people are hurtful doesn't mean that we are all that way. My husband is from West Africa and his previous wife was from Haiti, I try to remind him that I am not that woman, I am a american woman who is honest, loving and caring of other peoples feelings and would never want to hurt someone I love. Because he and I come from different backgrounds it makes it difficult for him to trust easily and I can understand that. But if you've been together for so many years without incident and without reason for distrusting your loved one then I believe there is no reason for his/her insecure feelings in the relationship. If you and he are religious people I would suggest going for conselling through your pastor. Sometimes it can help to have someone to mediate and provide some guidance for you both.
2006-06-07 05:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by DT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when people are like this its because they love you and they just dont want to loose you. trust me i know i sometimes feel so insecure with my relashioship but i look deep down at how much we love each other. he really loves you, and he must be a really lucky guy to ahve a person like you cause by the way that you sound you are very nice and a very good wife so dont worry about itr stay with the love of your life and tell him every single time that you can that you love him with all your heart.
2006-06-07 04:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with friends, and offer to have him come along. When he sees you out with your friends, and knows that it's open to him, then he'll trust you more. Some times closing things down doesn't help. If I don't trust you, and I lock you in a closet, then I still can't trust you, because nothing changed when I let you out. But if I don't trust you, and we go together, and you're respectful and honorable, then I've seen you respectful and honorable. If he won't go out with you, and he still gives you a hard time, go see your pastor or a counselor.
2006-06-07 05:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do everything you can to make him feel secure in this marriage and relationship... Tell him how much you love and appreciate him and when he does something nice for you then make a big deal of it and praise and thank him for it! Dress sexy for him do things with him that he likes to do.... Spend alot of time with him and make him feel special and loved. You can help him build his self esteem. Tell him how good he looks and how sexy he is! Spice things up in the bedroom for him too! Why dont you find other couples to be friends with?
2006-06-07 04:54:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move the clocks all back 5 minutes. Don't forget about his watch.
2006-06-07 04:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by mrsdebra1966 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to knock that **** off and act like a man! If he keeps it up, you will take his advice and leave him out in the cold.
2006-06-07 04:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this thing also happen to me..i can't juz go out with others except with my parents or my kids if without him...but lucky for me cause we got the same hobbies..we always go to bowling together,watching soccer or either when to fishing together...but still no freedom for me..why don't u juz follow his hobbies and try to adapt to it..once u marriaged to this kind of person,that's u have to accept it...
2006-06-07 06:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by azizah2minnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about it tell him how much u love him but you need time for your self ask him why he feels insecure and maybe recoumend counciling and if he dosnt change maybe you just leave him
2006-06-07 04:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
assure him, re-assure him. let him know that you chose him from the many
2006-06-07 04:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by natuj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋