My wife spends 3-4 hours a night on the PC then gets pissed when I get online. She has all but eliminated our friends from our life (since they do not go to church like she believe they should). She is constantly hiding things (bills, her bounced checks, etc)from me but then snoops into my email & checks up on me. She blames me because she can't afford to go to counsoling but She took a job making less than half of what she was making & told me I should get a new job making more $$ or find a part time job to help pay bills. I've looked into divorce & really can't afford it because of the kids. I'm physicaly & emotionaly drained. I love my wife but at what point do I save myself?
2006-06-07 04:38:15 · 13 answers · asked by bishop 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously you're unhappy to the point you're considering divorce and that's not healthy for you, her or especially the children. If she's not willing to work with you and correct the problems in the marriage but making equal efforts to change things then you should at least consider a trial separation. You say you have looked into the cost of the divorce but feel you simply couldn't afford it based on what child support would be. However, have you considered the cost of NOT doing this? If she's bouncing checks, taking a job that pay half of what she was making and is continuing to rack up new bills then you have to take those costs into account. You're having to bear those costs now since her financial contributions have dropped due to the lower paying job. In order to realize the actual costs you would have to add up the child support and then deduct those costs for a true figure because in the event you did divorce then those costs would be hers and not yours. As for her wanting you to get a second job to make up the difference in her lost wages, I would advise again that. If you did that and then still decided to file for divorce the courts would then look at your total income to determine your ability to pay support and with an increased income it would be more than if you had just the current income from the one job.
2006-06-07 04:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love your wife then you need to get to the bottom of this problem and try to save your marriage , after all marriage is about better or worst , good times and bad , sickness and health, I don't know where either one of you work but most company's have a type of free counseling set up through the company for employees and their family's so start there first , if not check your community ,most times they will have something that is free of charge regardless of income or insurance. Hope this helps and good luck.
2006-06-07 04:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by willow6262 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She checks on you because she is paranoid of what you might find if you check on her. You have lost the trust on each other.
If you cannot afford counseling, go to your clergyman and request a couple's couseling. This is offer by churches at no cost to you, and will aslo get you closer to your faith.
Also, there are many financial advisor's that can give you financial advice and budgeting classes at no cost to you.
Internet can be addictive and deteriorate a relationship. Turn off the internet, that will save you $ 30 dollars a month and maybe your marriage too.
Good luck
2006-06-07 04:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of places that offer free counselling or counselling geared to your income, you just need to seek them out. If your looking at divorce as an out, but your excuse is because you can't afford it, its just that an excuse not something you truly want, do your best to save your marriage, I get the feeling that even if you do finally get counselling she won't go, because she thinks the problems lye with you. Good Luck
2006-06-07 04:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by maxine553 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, pull the plug on the computer. Seriously. I cancelled our internet service at home because my family was rediculous about the amount of time spent on-line. Secondly, get some counseling. It is worth every cent. If you cannot afford it, go to the local family support services in your area, they can help. Good Luck!
2006-06-07 04:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is obviously wrong/going on and its up to you to find out what. Try to catch her at a reasonably calm moment, with no kids around and just talk it out. Counseling may help. Check with your dr and maybe some inexpensive or even free counseling that may be given at your local health department.
Good luck !
2006-06-07 04:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kit Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have free counseling at churches usually. You should look into it. Also it might work if you sat down and wrote your wife a letter. That way you can say what you have to say without interruption from her. It also allows you to get all your thoughts down on paper to help you feel better about everything.
2006-06-07 04:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by sixspdsxdrv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling for her and for you. Why does she feel the need to do this? Get online with her and spend time with her doing what she likes to do. I would not divorce her but would seek marriage counseling for this. She needs to find friends at your church then and hang out with them!
2006-06-07 04:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear bishop,
As wut u questioned and the details u've put in.
for my opinion DIVORCING is not applicable in marriage.No matter what u are a man that knows what's good for your family and i believe that u wouldn't let your own-flesh-blood children grows up without a father's love.
Everything's that happen today will brings u joy tomorrow.
All the blessings & Wishes For You & Family
2006-06-07 04:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lovella F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd do counseling. She seems to be taking you and your needs for granted, staying on the PC for that long every night.
2006-06-07 04:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋