ing him can cause him to get very upset with you ?my husband swears up and down tht he didnt cheat and that he is getting tired of me accusing him.Now another thing thats plays into all this he doesnt get weird calls he doesnt just get up and leave for hours and not tell me where he is going he is with me 95 % of his time that litle 5 % he is at work .He only disappeared for one day for 5 hrs and i found out that him and some girl from work hung out so he could vent because she was there and was willing to listen so he said they sat at the park and talked for a little bit he aslo said she didnt stay with him the whole time and that she also has a bf and is very happy and one more thing he also says he doesnt find her attractive and says he doesnt even look at her like that so am i just over reactting is it at all possible that they just sat and talked for an hour or 2 ?I mean what would you think if this was you ?
2006-06-07
04:33:25
·
27 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
we also did have a pretty bad fight htat day and our fighting had been going on alot we havent been going a week without fighting so basically he was very upset that day and needed someone to talk to but instead of going to my brother he chose to go with her does anybody also think its possilbe he did that to hurt me more cause i accused him?
2006-06-07
04:34:41 ·
update #1
this is all so very true i knwo ihave trust issuse i am sso thankful that there are people out ther ewilling to give me good feed back so many things i do are so stupid i have had a bad reltionship once before and he was the only other relaitonship i had and he did everything you coudl think of to me i went into this realtionship thinking i could do it right htis time around but im screwing up and now he is on the verge of leaving and i dont want him to leave i want him to stay but i sometimes cant shut my mouth i do just need to trust him and see he loves me so he is the greates guy ive ever been with and im doing this kinda crap to him.thank you for all your comments and for nyone else who comments thanks
2006-06-07
04:52:50 ·
update #2
Guys/girls sometimes leave there spouse because of them not trusting them.If you really love your husband and you have no evidence whatsoever that he really is cheating then leave it alone.
2006-06-07 04:35:39
·
answer #1
·
answered by DiamondXxx 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
1. You are very insecure if you were accusing him of cheating before he even went off with that girl. Have you been cheated on before? Have you caught him cheating on you? If you KNOW that he has cheated on you and you forgave him, then there's a reason that you may think he will do it again. If it hasn't happened yet, you being like this WILL push him to it. For sure.
2. It is very possible that they sat and talked. If a man is loyal everyday (as he seems to be, by your description of your situation), he doesn't deserve to go home and have somebody reaming him out for a bunch of crap he didn't even do.
3. If you are this much of a witch to your husband without very good reason, you should consider STRONGLY going to counseling. If you continue on this way (and it seems that you ARE the root of the problems), some woman WILL try to seduce him because I'm sure other people than just one girl at work can thell that you treat him like crap. NOBODY likes to see that happening, and somebody is bound to want to try and rescue him if you don't get your **** together.
2006-06-07 04:40:18
·
answer #2
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Two things you need to consider:
One, almost every man who gets accused of cheating will claim he's not cheating -- whether he is or isn't.
Two, almost every woman thinks her husband is cheating at some point, especially when they find out they spent some time with another woman, even if it was completely innocent and nothing happened.
What you have is a trust (or lack of it) issue. You don't trust him to not cheat, quite probably because you two have been fighting so much. And he doesn't trust you to be the one he "vents" to, again probably because you've been fighting so much. Your communication is terrible.
Forget the cheating thoughts, and don't accuse him again. Work instead on finding time (and the will) to be alone together in a quiet place where you can talk about your problems and try to find solutions. If you show your husband you care about him, and want to work out any problems you have, he's not going to cheat (most likely...). If he feels he can talk to you even about maybe being attracted to another woman, and you won't go nuts and accuse him of cheating, your relationship will improve greatly. If anytime something out of the ordinary happens you are going to accuse him of cheating, he'll clam up...and possibly WILL cheat since he's being accused of it anyway...
Good luck.
2006-06-07 04:41:18
·
answer #3
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
you need to chill out on him. Or you will push him into the arms of another who also maybe unhappy in there relationship. I sure he was just getting a few things off his chest with her. If like he is with you most of the time when would he have time to cheat. Stop what your doing or you will lose him . Give the poor guy some breathing room. Also the person that is always accusing the other one of cheating often is the one who is cheating or if they haven't yet they might have those feelings of mistrust in themselves
2006-06-07 04:46:13
·
answer #4
·
answered by cuteavgwmn 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
I agree with what Diamond said. And it sounds like your just upset because he found another female that would actually listen to him instead of fight with him. And he probably didn't go to your brother because he knew whatever he discussed would get straight back to you. Give the buy a break, if you have no evidence then let it be. It could be you are suspecting something because you know your giving him a reason to cheat
2006-06-07 04:41:27
·
answer #5
·
answered by dmxdragon2 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
You probably had a really bad fight that day because he knew he was going to meet that girl. I find that is how men act when they are doing things behind your back. Of course he is going to tell you he doesn't like her and doesn't find her attractive. I think you need to take that with a grain of salt. My best advise would be to stop accusing him and do some investigation. The more he knows you suspect something the more he will hide it. Chill out and investigate. If there is anything to know you will probably find it.
2006-06-07 04:38:54
·
answer #6
·
answered by JustMe 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
I'll tell you from experience, I was married to a lady that sounds alot like you, insecure and needed to grow up. I got accused of every kind of cheating you could think of.... including being with two women at the same time.....and NEVER once cheated on her during that period of time..... When it got to the point of her not only accusing me, but also punishing me for it...(i.e. wouldn't do anything for me... talk to me, cook dinner, no sex, etc.) then I decided, hell if I am going to get accused of it and punished for something I DIDN'T do, I may as well go ahead and do it...... Needless to say, I soon realized there are ALOT of mature, secure ladies in the world and I didn't need to put up with her BS.....
2006-06-07 04:46:46
·
answer #7
·
answered by awftx 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
I am a 35 year old man who has often asked women I trust to help me understand my mate. I know she would rather I talk to her instead but there is a comfort level in talking to a friend. The reason I talk to a female friend is because guys will usually just say something like, "screw her, dude."
2006-06-07 04:42:49
·
answer #8
·
answered by jax0817 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
when a man and a woman are married or dating, and the girl is a psycho, the man sometimes has to find someone else to talk to,
let him have some space dammit! the 95% together is probably driving him crazy. everyone needs to be themselves once in a while, like every day, and you are not giving him that time or opportunity.
ease up wingnut.
2006-06-07 04:38:37
·
answer #9
·
answered by otis_hobson 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Wow - that is a lot of information.
Useful, but a lot of words.
Do I have an answer for you?
No.
However, here's my suggestion:
The two of you need to find a marriage counselor and try to set some ground rules in your relationship.
You guys are in some kind of marital conflict that doesn't sound as if it will resolve WITHOUT outside help.
Get some professional help.
BOTH of you...together.
Good luck!
2006-06-08 04:39:22
·
answer #10
·
answered by docscholl 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
Yes there is a possibility of this but it is still no excuse to do so by any means. You both need counseling and help here. I would be leary and suspicous however if my husband was still talking and spending time with women if he had cheated on me before... Hire a PI and have him followed and see what they discover.
2006-06-07 04:39:12
·
answer #11
·
answered by Lady Hewitt 6
·
0⤊
0⤋