after a 8 year horrible relationship with my kids father i found the man im with now me and the father have been apart 10 months and ive been with this guy 3 months he wants to get married and have kids thing is i have my tubes tided what are some of u guys opions??
2006-06-07 04:01:40 · 30 answers · asked by Diana K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he knows i cant have kids right now he wants to pay bfor the reversal im 26
2006-06-07 04:11:57 · update #1
he loves my children and yes they want him in my life hes a great father like figure to them considering there real father does nothing for them
2006-06-07 04:19:39 · update #2
I think you're moving way too fast. You have only been alone for 7 months, to get to know yourself, and be sure of what you want for the rest of your life. You haven't grieved a marriage gone wrong, or just relaxed and "breathed" long enough yet. Give it another year before you make major decisions. Good Luck!!
2006-06-07 04:07:43 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother too, I would say it's way too soon to even consider getting married. You have only been with him for 3 months and that's not long enough, in my opinion, to determine if he's the man that you want not only for you but for your child as well. As hard as it is sometimes you HAVE to think about what's best for the child.
You're still healing from your long term relationship from your childs father, whether you were married or not, you need more time to heal from that. You don't want to marry this guy, or have a child with him and a year later be in a simular situation. It's not fair to you or your kiddo.
I say, take it slow, grow together before you involve another child. If 9 months down the road things are still fine, then talk about marriage. If he loves and respects you then he should be willing to wait awhile and do what's best for everyone.
As for the having your tubes tied, I know it's possible to do a reversal, but that's something that you really need to talk to your doctor about. Makes sure that it's something that's not going to be too hard on your body and look at all the options. If it turns out that your doctor reccomends that you don't, then look into adoption. There are plenty of wonderful children that need a good home.
Good luck.
2006-06-07 04:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by SmilingG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old you are, if you have your own kids and want more, etc. If you do want kids, then get married first, wait a couple of years if you are young enough then consider your tubes untied. If it was me, I wouldn't want kids and that would be something new guy would know right off. So he needs to decide if that is a sacrifice he is willing to live with. Up to you.
2006-06-07 04:04:23 · answer #3 · answered by DELETED ACCOUNT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that 3 months is too soon. When you know that that is the person you want to be with then you should go for it. You do need to talk about the children issue first though! You could get a reversal but there aren't any definites. Even if you get it done you may not be able to get pregnant. You need to talk to this guy about it and talk to him about your other children and how he feels about it.
2006-06-07 04:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by vicked01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too soon - learn how to be self sufficient and not leaning on a man to be your financial support. Learn who are you first before you jump into a relationship too soon or you are just gonna make life hell on yourself and your kids. You are going to be miserable. I would also venture to say you are needy and scared to be alone and also feel like you need to control all situations and people around you. And I would also say you are a jealous kind which don't work well in a relationship either. You really need to get a grip on yourself and your life. Find out where you stand in this world before you throw your life away.
2006-06-07 04:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down, slow way down! It is much much too early for another long term relationship. If you really want something meaningful and lasting this go around, take your time and see if this guy is going to be right for you. There is so much more to a relationship then sex as you well know. Explore it, then make a decision when you KNOW the time is right or not right.
2006-06-07 04:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure he is not after your money or anything else. If it is true love, get engaged first. then wait for another several months to get married after the engagement. So you can give this guy you are with now some security and enough commitment. Also give yourself some more time to observe him. If you don't like what you saw after few months, you always can break the engagment.
2006-06-07 04:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by eggyaya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to explain yourself a little better. What I am gathering is you have children with one man whom you left a while back. Now you have someone new. He wants children. You can't have anymore children. Is this correct? If so, I think you need to let him know you can't have any children and would he be happy adopting perhaps. If he is adamant about having his own children, well, he has to move on since you can't do that.
I really don't see what your problem is. It's all written in black and white.
2006-06-07 04:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by Nana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after you have had 4 children from a previous guy i think you have definately had enough. maybe you should let the new guy know you had your tubes tied and cannot have any other children. that would be a start, see what he says to that.
it is not healthy to keep on having kids. good luck
2006-06-07 04:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by smiths j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question should be Do you want more kids, I think 3 months is a little soon, but you only really know the answer to this question.
2006-06-07 04:03:46 · answer #10 · answered by lissa7903 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋