i have been married fo about 5 years and i love my man but what sould i do lever me or stay i hate to look at him sometime
2006-06-07 03:43:44 · 23 answers · asked by serinawilson2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh please, enough with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" garbage. It's not an answer, and it's not necessarily true. You know your husband better than anyone here and while it's easy for everyone else to just say "drop him", this is YOUR MARRIAGE and you're the only one who can decide where to go from here.
I went through this myself, and got a lot of the same advice as you have here. Thankfully I ignored it and went with what my heart told me. I had a LOT of long and painful talks with my husband, many of which were one-sided with me ranting and asking "How could you!" I finally chose to work it out with him because living with the pain of his cheating was less painful than being without him. We're stronger than ever now.
Just use what you know about yourself and him, give it a little time, and take things as you're ready to. Snap decisions made in anger aren't usually the best. Good luck!
2006-06-07 04:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by Abbigail 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, well it is up to you either 2 stay & "forgive" or follow a different way, a new way on your own. Look a "MAN" who cheat's once will cheat again & again even if he swears to GOD that will never cheat on you that it was just something with no importnce. The questions is will you really FORGIVE him??? Will you trust him AGAIN??? ask your self this two questions & then think about it & don't be scared to take a decition either 2 stay or walk away..CUZ a person who really LOVES don't cheat on each other & trust will need to be present in a good solid relationship. I telling you this from my own experience & once forgive that he cheat but he did it again & again so even knowing that I was 3 months pregnant I decide to look for my happiness & my baby's happiness too. I decide 2 divorce & after a while I found a GOOD man who loves me & accepted me w/ my baby & now we have been together almost 5 years & we have a wonderful relationship, we spend time as a family always but we also have time for our selfs. We have 2 more kids & we trust, respect & love each other.Also a good communiocations is good in a relationship. So make the decitions that you thinkl is best for you, don't be scared there might be someone better for you out there, in my opinion he doesn't deservers you.. GOOD LUCK !!! :)
2006-06-07 04:03:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About 5 years ago I had been married for 5 years- Make sense? Anyway, I found out my husband cheated on me when he was away on a business trip. It was about 5 days before my birthday- I kicked him out, moved back to the state we came from and we were seperated for about 5 months. We had 2 children at the time and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my marriage. During that time he realized the mistake he made and we talked and actually dated. ( of course I wouldn't see him for the first 2 months or so- I was so mad) But anyway, it took that to happen in our relationship for us to realize how much we loved each other and that we wanted our family back. It is still hard at times but it gets easier to forgive as time moves on. It has now been 10 years of marriage, and we have another child and we are strong. He has no desire to ever do anything to lose me and the kids again. ( He also knows he doesn't get a third chance- it would be over in a second)
Also, I would know if he did it again- he was 2 states away and had never cheated on me when he did it that time and I knew= I just had a feeling from 2 states away- and found out for sure when he got home- I think if I could tell in that kind of situation- I would know when I am with him everyday.
I am just telling you to split up for awhile and if it is meant to be you will be stronger and find your way back to each other, and if it isn't- then you won't. But if you stay and do nothing and pretend it didn't happen, then there was no consiquence for his actions and it gives him permission to do it again because he got away with it the first time.
I hope it all works out for you-
2006-06-07 04:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how your feeling,I was in your shoes once before.But you need to understand one thing.If this guy cheated on you once he may do it again.People cheat for all kinds of different reasons,thier either not getting thier emotional and/or physical needs met,they can't commit to just one person,the list goes on.I've heard alot of different lines,but in my oppinion Once a cheater Always a cheater.
I know you still love him,but do you really want to be with someone that disrespected you in the way he did?
If your really having a hard time deciding what to do I think it would be best to seek some help from a councilor.You may benifit from it,and if you do leave him seeing someone to recover from this will be helpful as well.
I wish you all the luck.....Please take care of you!
2006-06-07 03:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by tiger_lover_1975 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most likely he's been cheating on you for a lil while now and you can forgive a person once but it up to you the question is can you trust him again to stay with him you need some time to think and relax and think about what it is you really want
2006-06-07 03:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 options:
1. You forgive and stay with him
2. You dump him.
If you opt for choice one, you need to ascertain the reason he cheated and resolve that, else option 2 is best before he does it again.
2006-06-07 03:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE LEAVE HIM BEFORE YOU PUT YOURSELF IN MISERABLE LIFE....BECAUSE IF YOU STAY WITH HIM IN THE BACK OF YOU'RE HEAD ..HE'S WITH SOMEONE ELSE..
YOU'LL NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN AND IT'S HARD TO LOVE HIM THE WAY YOU USED TO...BECAUSE HE HURT YOU AND MENTALLY YOU WILL THINK HE WILL HURT YOU AGAIN SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE PARANOID WHEN HE DOESNT SHOW UP ON A DATE OR SOMETHING...PEOPLE WHO CHEATS ON A PERSON THAT LOVES THEM DONT DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE..IF HE READLLY LOVED YOU..WHY DIDNT HE THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE HE WAS ABOUT TO CHEAT ON YOU?? HE BASICALLY JUST IGNORED YOU THAT DAY TO BE WITH THAT OTHER PERSON....
YOU CAN GIVE HIM A CHANCE BUT THAT'S IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THRU THESE PROBLEMS...PEOPLE DO CHANGE BUT NOT OVERNIGHT....
2006-06-07 04:00:06 · answer #7 · answered by *sunshyne* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling....some people work through it, others cannot. Thats a tough one hun. How sorry is he?? Can you still trust him? See he if wants to go to marriage counseling. Otherwise, leave. Better for you in the long run.
2006-06-07 03:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by kelbel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheat always a cheat! it is best to be seperated and see if u can work things out if u cant follow thru and get the divorce!
2006-06-07 03:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he did it once he will do it again ive been there and i stayed and had 4 kids out of the whole mess u need to kick his *** out and move on everyone deserves to be happy... good luck diana
2006-06-07 03:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by Diana K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋