I stumbled across my bf's email and found correspondence with his ex gf. In the email, he tells her that he misses her and the way they used to sneak off and "play" with each other. She writes back saying she misses it too, bla bla bla. She lives in Cali, he and I live together in NC. I just feel so betrayed. We've talked and he says it was just flirtation and won't happen again, but still I can 't get the image of them together out of my head. I don't want to know things he did with his exes! And I found this the day after he tells me that I am too sexual and unromantic, which is total bullcrap. I don't think once a week is too sexual! How would you feel? Anyone been in a situation like this before? Need help on how to deal!
2006-06-07 03:20:32 · 13 answers · asked by Beth 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
For clarification purposes: he left his email open, I went to the computer to do something school-related, saw her name in the inbox, so I looked. He told me months ago that he was not talking to her anymore, so when I saw her name, of course I looked to see what was going on, and I wish I hadn't. He is a very jealous person so I don't communicate with other guys in any way other than just as friendly acquaintances. If it were the other way around, he would have likely kicked me out!
2006-06-07 08:51:33 · update #1
there is no reason for any man to talk or miss his ex if there with you. unless they have kids together.. good god once a week I'm lucky to get it 1 a month.. lol romance is a mans jobs. but it doesn't hurt if a woman does little romantic things too.. get the ex out of the pic. but if she is in ca and ur in nc i would not worry to much but yes that was not right. he should focus on ur relationship and ur fun times together.
2006-06-07 03:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grrr... It's not just flirtation - it's rediculous. If he knows that he can get away with something so devious while you two are just girlfriend/boyfriend, he'll walk all over you if you stay together.
Also, if he's saying you're too sexual, that means maybe he isn't giving it to you, right? If a guy is cool with how often/the way you have sex, and then isn't all of the sudden, I would assume he's getting it from someplace else, or he isn't that into you anymore - which sucks to think about, but you'd be better off without him if that's the case.
2006-06-07 10:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, heres how I feel:
Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he is committed to you he has no business talking to her that way. If she initiated it, he should have said, "Great to hear from you, but I have a wonderful girlfriend." I dated a guy that would do this repeatedly with an ex-gf. He would let me catch him emailing or texting her provoctive things, then I'd call him out on it and he would apologize profusely. When I was calm he would say "See, I knew you were the jealous type, and I can't trust you not to snoop around." Thusly putting the guilt on me. It was a total head game so he could control me and still fool around with his ex.
I say, leave him. You are too smart, too beautiful, and too confident to let a loser like him walk all over you.
2006-06-07 10:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by Frankie Baby 82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has complaints about your sex life and he's flirting with other girls it's time for you to wake up . He's bored with you and wants someone else. Dump him as fast as you can. He's just using you till he finds someone else. If she didn't live 3000 miles away he would be doing her behind your back. I'd do you twice a day. A quickie in the morning to start the day right and hours of foreplay in the evening. I'm too far away though and probably too old for you so try to find someone like me in N.C. I met lots of nice people when I was there on vacation. Some of the nicest people in the USA. Good luck.
2006-06-07 11:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, first of all, how do you stumble upon his email? Second? It is OK to flirt with other people as long as you don't take it any further. Once a week is not too sexual. Maybe he wants romance. you never know. I personally don't see anything wrong with him emailing his ex if she's on the other side of the country.
2006-06-07 12:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by sixspdsxdrv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that is a hard one. No matter what you are always going to be wondering if he wants to be with her and if they are still emailing. It sounds like he is trying to make excuses about your relationship with the whole too sexual thing. I don't know of any guy that would say that. It may be time to move on.
2006-06-07 10:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would defiantly be p.issed. You have to explain to him that he wouldn't appreciate it if you were to one exchanging e mails. I have been through this with my ex, it's not the reason we broke up, but I confronted him and told him I didn't like it and he stopped. I think what your man mean by too sexual and not romantic, isn't how many times a week you do it, it's how you do it. It sounds like he doesn't just want to ***** you he wants to make love. Have tender moments between you two. You need to tell him that you are uncomfortable with him talking to his ex like that, flirting (to me any way) is a form of cheating.
2006-06-07 11:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by sexzbich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all calm down. It was just an E-mail for some girl that he left to be with you the women he loves. So the quickest away to start having problems with him is to make them. He explained himself after you went through his mail. Give him a little credit for doing that.
2006-06-07 10:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ray-Ray 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what Miss Intelligence, he's not that into you.
That's a book you might want to read.
2006-06-08 19:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Calee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankie Baby is right! Find some one better!
2006-06-07 10:33:47 · answer #10 · answered by angelpockets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋