Husband is a cheater, Married for 13 years should I stay or go. I really love my husband, but I need love bac

Question

This woman knows that we are married. I have spoken to her and informed her that she was crossing a line and they are still seeing each other. He claims that it is a friendship. I am not sure if the relationship is sexual or least I cant prove it is or not, but I really would like some feedback as to what a nother has or would do in my situation

Answer 1

I think you need to make your feelings as regards this relationship with another woman known to your husband. he is your husband and you have to save your marriage. tell him he needs to see the damage his relationship with this woman is doing to your marriage. as you have spoken to the woman and she has refused to let go, tell your husband the woman has no respect for his marriage, he needs to choose between his friendship with the other woman and his marriage (his wife and kids). dont go fighting him, do things with wisdom, love and gentless.endeavour to always show him love and always communicate with him.communication is very important in a relationship

Answer 2

Whether or not sex is going on is beside the point, isn't it! This is disturbing you, causing great emotional distress, and making your life miserable. That is NOT what a marriage is about in any way, but unfortunately can become that way very quickly. Stop trying to prove anything, detach yourself from the situation, and take a real look at the marriage. I strongly suggest counciling with a 3rd...best done by a professional, but only as a couple! YOU must decide if you can go on with this partnership, but your partner seems to have little regard for your feelings...unless this is your standard way of reacting to all his acquaintences...if this is your form of control, then you better stand back and look at yourself before you do more damage than can be repaired. I have no idea what is going on, and neither do any of us here. If you are looking for support, I give no more than I have written.

Answer 3

There are times when you have to put his love to the test. See if
he still loves you. Some men or women won't tell their spouse how they feel. They just cheat. But spouse are to sit down and talk things over. That's the mature thing to do. My husband does
not have lady friends. The only women he talks to are the ones in
the family and at church. Your husband needs to spend more of his time with you instead of with the other woman. If he says it's just friendship then he sure is putting himself in opposition. Have
a woman to man talk with him. Get it all out on the table. Don't hold nothing back. A man needs to know when he has crossed the line. And it's our job to correct a man. So go ahead and do your thing.

Answer 4

Why do all you women who are being cheated on talk to the other woman? She didn't take vows with you. She owes you nothing. Your hubby is telling her lies about you in the 1st place. He's already painted a hideous picture of you to her. She's on HIS side.

HE is the reason for your problem. HE is the jerk that looked for goodies elsewhere. HE owes you an explanation. HE is the first thing you yell at. And you're not getting an apology if he's denying it.

Leave the loser. You deserve better. And if you love him so much that you put your happiness and dignity last, he'll NEVER have an other woman love him this way. He's losing, not you!

Answer 5

Well this certainly sounds familiar. My husband and I have been married 13 years also. Just recently last march I found out he had been having an affair with a woman for the past year. When confronted his exact words to me were that she was just someone to talk to and watch ball games with because I hated sports. He assured me they were just friends.
Then.. she felt the need to inform me they had been sleeping together a year. He finially admitted that promised he was done with it.

Two weeks later she called me to tell me he wouldn't leave her alone and she was 5 weeks pregnant.
Ultimately he left me one day. Said he was going to spend the night at another house we own.... Instead he moved in with her.

Where he has been ever since. Still professing that he loves me, wants to come home, misses me then returning to sleep with her at night.
Do I think my marriage is over? No... I know it is.

Bottom line... If he loved me he would of never lied, cheated and betrayed me. He would of had more respect for his vows and showed a lot more respect for me. After 13 years I at least feel like I earned that much.

However if he loved her... He wouldn't still be trying to lie to me visiting me.. wanting to sleep with me etc.

I'm not sure what happened to the man I married. All I know is he died and someone new and unpleasant is occupying his body. I miss my husband.... but when I look at him now... I know he's no longer there.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

First of all= a husband or wife for that matter, should not have friends that they hang out with of the opposite sex, unless the spouse also knows that friend. All they are asking for in that kind of situation is trouble. If he is keeping you from knowing her on a friend level, then yes, he is doing something he shouldn't be doing. If you are both friends with her and they flirt, yes- be mad, but it is probably harmless. The question is- how much is he hiding the friendship from you and why does he need a female friend that is not mutual? My husband had a friend on time and I thought it was wrong for him to be friends with someone I didn't know- he respected that and has never spoke to her since. So they could be friends, but if he is hiding it, then I would think there was more to it.

Answer 7

Sit your husband down and lay it all out to him. If he can't give up the cookie then by all means get out while you can. It is obvious that the two of you have communication issues. Maybe counseling is a great start? He is not getting what he needs from you and you are not getting what you need from him. Get together and get open. 13 years is nothing to sneeze at. Does he want to lose his family??? The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, until you have to mow it.....Don't give up without giving him a chance to make it right, and dont go doing the same thing. It's stupid, immature, and gets you nowhere but depressed. It can get worse. Try to make it better.

Answer 8

How well do you know this woman? How often and where do they see each other? How much do you trust your Husband, has he ever been cought cheatin before?
Ask yourself these questions.... then decide if you really feel that their relationship is more important that yours. If i were you i would sit down and talk to my husband, on a very seriouse level and explain to him that haveing a female friend,is fine, but when he's putting in more time with her than with you,, its starting to become a problem... explain to him that you love him, but you can not continue in a marriage that is becomeing something not trustworthy. See how he responds... Then you will know the true answer, deep within your heart.

Answer 9

I say sit down and tell him how it makes you feel when he goes out with her even as friends. If he is an understanding husband, and he loves you, he will listen, and he will absolve the whole thing. As much as men say they love you and will not cheat on you, this goes for women too, they start out cheating when an emotional relationship. They think it is an okay thing, they are not sleeping with the other person, just hanging out, and talking. But after awhile they start to see things the other person has, they are not seeing in you anymore (mostly because they are not coming to you anymore for these issues), they tell you how great a listener the other person is, they say how fun they are to be around, they say things like, why don't you want to go out with us? It will build up, the more honest your husband, the longer it will take, but it will happen, and they will end up doing the worst thing possible. But if you are a Godly women, and believe in those vows you took on your wedding day, for better or worse, and this is the worse, you can get through it if he is willing to stop seeing her, and go to counseling with you. There is free stuff with your Pastor, and it will be more in tuned to what God has to say. I will be praying for you and your husband, but please don't give up on him just yet, try to talk to him, and be honest how it makes you feel when he does these things.

Answer 10

Heather you're in an tremendously puzzling problem and that i urge you to first take your time to take a seat with your husband and be conscious if he will supply you an effortless straightforward answer on who he's in love with. If the answer is you and also you'll sense positive that he will make and attempt to modify. you've a competent chance of conserving all of it jointly. He may probable ought to pay newborn help for his illegitimate newborn that's some thing you may ought to get over. that's achievable after an issue like this your marriage may merely be effective or perhaps extra effectual than the previous. in spite of the undeniable fact that it truly is going to take a impressive form of exertions to regain his believe and he will may ought to artwork flat out to earn it. Please undergo in concepts the youngster is a present of god and the youngster had no part of the alternative of it truly is own introduction the youngster is an chance free sufferer and doubtless will choose extra love than maximum because it has a damaged domicile earlier its beginning. the way you get decrease back on the female is to love the youngster extra not a lot less this isn't the appropriate of the international its merely the finest challange existence has further you to this point. the way you both deal with the problem will be a real try and testiment of your love. imagine sensible and commence putting out each and each and every of the strains of comunication My straightforward prays to you and your kinfolk

Answer 11

If he wasn't cheating than he would ask you to come with him to visit her. If they are just friends then he should be able to include you in this "friendship". He is being a jacka** and you should leave him. As hard as it is...you should leave him. If he refuses councilling then you should definately leave him. He's not worth the pain. If you feel you don't get love back, if he isn't giving you what you need, then listen to your gut. If you don't see that love in his eyes anymore, if he doesn't make the effort... leave. I'm sorry, I wish it were easier for you. Just remember, you can get through it. You can get though anything. You just have to toughen up a little.