My wife is so selfish, she quit her Job while we were closing on our first home.?

Question

Her work friends are calling her asking her why she quit she wont even talk to them. She wont even tell her family (mother and sisters) she quit her job. she's lying to them telling them she's still working. I cant even enjoy our new home because i may not be able to afford it. What does this sound like to you?

Answer 1

Sounds like she's having a mental breakdown due to stress. Maybe you should convince her to see a therapist.

Are you sure her company didn't fire her?
Did she tell you why she quit?

Sounds like you all have a problem with communication. If she was truely unhappy with her job one would think she would have told you...unless you just wouldn't listen...

I think the fact that you automatically veiw her as selfish is an indicator that there are serious problems with the marriage.
So is this one of these things your going to hold over her head forever or will you ever be able to let it go?
I'm suprised you aren't worried or concerned about her. Your first response is that she's the one with the problem.

She might be clinically depressed or having a nervous breakdown. You'd best get her some help before she offs herself because of all the negativity.

You really should be more supportive or this marriage isn't going to last.

I thought love was all about being 'selfless', you're beings selfish by pouting that you didn't get the house. You need to find out what's wrong with your woman and help her!
This phrase "I cant even enjoy our new home because i may not be able to afford it." makes me sick. Do you even love this woman?
If she's holding you back from all the great things in life, then leave her. I'm sure she'll be better off without you.


Here's the definition;
"A nervous breakdown is a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. Like sanity, the term is not recognized by the psychological community. In part, this is because the term has pejorative connotations, while this phenomenon is a normal and relatively common response to chronic stress. Often, the emerging illness is only described as a "breakdown" when the person becomes unable to function, at which point the disorder is advanced. Often, the supposed breakdown is a manifestation of career burnout.

The psychiatric community rejects the term "nervous breakdown", in part, because it is not descriptive enough of the actual disorder and symptoms. A common diagnosis that follows such an event is brief reactive psychosis.

Causes of breakdown include chronic and unresolved grief, unemployment, academic or occupational stress, serious or chronic illness in a family member, divorce, death of a family member, and other sudden major life changes. Whatever the cause, the message to the sufferer is that they now become aware of their limits of tolerance to stress, the usual outcome eventually is a more robust personality that interacts with stresses of life with more self care, although this may take time—sometimes years."

Answer 2

Sounds like something may have happen to her at work and she is afraid to tell anyone. I think you should have a heart to heart with her to see what's really going on, if this isn't something she would do without talking too you first then you need too find the deeper root of her problem with work. Don't give up and just think she is being selfish sometimes we women like to hold things in until we can't take it and that's not good. She is probably feeling like no one cares about what's happening and is acting out. Don't worry about losing your house God will provided the funds if you provide the love and care for your wife and work it out. Try to think about what she has been doing differently and start there and make her talk. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I think she just picked the wrong time to quit her job. Sounds like something major must have happened and she felt she had no other choice but to quit. Why wouldn't you be able to afford the home, are you saying your wife has no desire to get another job!
You should find out what is going on with her and what are her intentions on getting another job so both of you can afford the new home and enjoy it.

Answer 4

I think that it sounds like she is being selfish and not respecting your or the relationship. You have a new home and a mortgage is attached, so i don't have the slightest idea why she would quit her job. Have you spoken to her about it, I mean REALLY talked?

She may have left her job for reasons she does not wish to disclose with you? I don't know and I am only speculating, but this behaviour is very strange indeed.

I, for one, would SPEW if this happended to me. All the luck in the world resolving this problem and I wish I could give a better answer.

Answer 5

There may be a problem on the job she's not
telling anyone about. Could she have been molested,
or abused in some way? Something seems
really wrong. It sounds like there's alot more going
on then a person being selfish. She needs someone
to talk WITH.

Answer 6

I would talk to your wife and let her know how you feel. I would tell her of your concerns about whether you can afford the make the payment on your own. I would ask her what her plans are for bringing in an income and not leaving all the financial responsibilities to you. I would let her know that you feel she needs to do something to help you out, that you have no intentions of doing it on your own. Find out what she plans to do. Sit and talk with her, try not to make it an argument, but let her know that she needs to help by bringing in an income too. Hope this has helped, even in some small way. Good luck!

Answer 7

I bet she got fired. Sometimes when this happens people go into some form of denial. I have heard stories of cases where the husband got fired and he would still get up in the morning, get dressed for work, and leave as if going to work, but spend the day instead sitting in diners and on park benches just so he would not have to admit to his wife that he got fired. Sometimes this goes on for weeks until the money runs out.

It sounds like your wife got fired and can't accept it and can't admit it, even to herself. If I were you I would call her workplace and find out what the real story is. You've got to get to the bottom of this and snap her out of it and get her butt moving again.

Answer 8

I think it's better if you can have a talk with your wife as to why she quit her job in this period of time. Maybe she has a valid and reasonable reason for it. You should not assume and come up with your own judgement. I understand that you feel frustrated about it but it's always better to talk and settle things in a relationship.

Answer 9

I agree that it sounds as if your wife had a problem at work or maybe that she is stressed. You will have to stop thinking of her as selfish and be somewhat selfless yourself in order to find out what the problem is and how you two can work around it.

Marriage is about sharing information, not about hiding it.

Answer 10

i think she wants to put her immediately family first, but may hav realized that she made a mistake, and doesn't want to admit that she might hav a bad idea. it is hard for someone to admit they made a mistake. i am sure at first she thought "well, maybe if i quit my job, i will hav more time at home to take care of things" but then the money issue came into play, and everything's messed up now. i think u and her should've talked throught it before she quit her job, but hey, make mistakes and learn from them. maybe she'll make a better choice next time. i just hope lying to her family doesn't blow up in her face.