I am staying with him because the children are better off with a father, emotionally and financially. I wonder if anyone would stay with someone they don't want to be with so that the children don't have to suffer?
2006-06-07 00:43:22 · 9 answers · asked by toe poe gee gee oh 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband doesn't cheat as far as I know but he does take 2-4 week bussiness trips overseas. He is insensitive. He lies. He is a bully and will not spend time with me. We have had marriage councillors galore and they all say that he loves himself too much to see how hurtfull he can be. A few years ago he started drinking and smoking and he goes out when he wants to and doesn't call to tell me he won't be home. (I am a healthy ,sporty, non-smoker). He lies to me. He could care less what I do. When I tell him that I am unhappy and we need help he says that is your problem...but if I leave him He and his family will fight me. (he has 2 prominent divorce attorneys his brother and sister who will help him for free.) because I stay home with the children I have no income and my husband will only pay the bills and I have to beg him for money. We are the ideal family on the outside with the beautiful home a new cars etc. but people can't see what it is really like. He lies daily
2006-06-07 13:12:27 · update #1
I will certainly go back to work soon because the youngest just started kindergarten...but I would never be able to earn enough money to give the children everything I want for them and he has put all assets including the home in his name and I feel like I should just stick it out so that the kids can grow up in comfort and have thier music lessons etc. because my husband wouldn't bother to provide them all of this if I were not here , because he will give me money to pay for thier lessons and activities now. So maybe I should stay in a loveless marriage for the children,,,but I feel so sad and stupid for staying,...but I will feel guilty if I leave. Thank you everone for your great answers
2006-06-07 13:17:16 · update #2
Married for better or for worst. Stick it out. Try a marriage conference called "Weekend to Remember".
If he's beating you , then leave.
Learn How to love him, his way.
2006-06-07 00:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. . .stay with him. I divorced my ex many years ago for infidelity. We did divorce much better than we did marriage. We never argued in front of the kids. They saw their dad whenever he wanted. We didn't fight over money or custody. We were very good business partners in raising our boys BUT the boys are scarred. They fight depression. They have problems in school. Divorce is UGLY. Please don't do it unless there's no other option.
Try working on your marriage. Read "The Surrendered Wife," "Women Are From Venus and Men Are From Mars," "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," etc. Even if you're not a Christian, God's plan for marriage will work and bring the spark back into your life. Romance is nothing but the emphasizing of the differences in the man and the woman. A battery without a positive and a negative has no spark. Neither does a marriage without the two opposites of male and female. Do everything you can to emphasize your true femininity and he will automatically become more masculine. Fall back in love with your own husband.
2006-06-07 10:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your children will know something is up. You should leave, I would. Everyone will be fine anyway, emotionally and financially. Children are more resilient than we give them credit for. Children are better off coming from a broken home than living in one. Love is the one thing we shouldn't live without. Its the basis of a happy life. Find someone who'll make you happy.
2006-06-07 07:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together for the children rarely works. Kids are more aware of things than we as parents give them credit for. My kids adjusted to the divorce and I think it's better that they can spend time with each of us seperately without the tension than if we stayed together and everyone was miserable. If you want to do something for the kids then leave your loveless marriage. Good luck
2006-06-07 07:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by fungirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I would not stay with someone I did not love and live my life in misery. If he was a good father, he would make sure to make the break-up as easy for the kids as possible and support them emotionally and financially. If he wants to act like a fool, then the kids will suffer and know why you don't love this man.
2006-06-07 07:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, mental pain is worse than physical pain. Livin a life with a man you dont want aint right for you. Even if its for the sake of your children. If your not happy for yourself how can you truly be happy for them. Financially just get child support or something. Or just get seperated but not ully divorced until you find the one your ready to marry again
2006-06-07 07:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by ɷ▫▪вяøκeи;;♥ иøт đefeαтeđ▪▫ɷ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you decide to leave him, first step you better have a conversation with him may he can change himself for you.
Step two you can ask your children how do they feel about their father, maybe their love feel effect on you too.
2006-06-07 08:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help and counseling and stay in this marriage unless he is abusive or has been cheating on you and having affairs. Why dont you love him? Has he done something to make you not love him any more?
2006-06-07 10:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd leave.
2006-06-07 07:44:44 · answer #9 · answered by Dusty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋