Real thoughful advice please?

Question

This is a delicate matter. My partner is going through a bad time just now with serious issues with his Dad which go way back years. He has become subdued and is very low (which I can understand). I am making sure that I am there for him and just being patient. He admitted last night that he thinks he may have a little bit of Depression. Do you think that there is anything else I can do to help? Or is it best just to be there for him to lean on at this difficult time? Serious advice plz??

Answer 1

I am sure he is feeling depressed. There's a world of difference between temporary depression and clinical depression and I think that just by being there for him and talking it through you are doing a grand job.

If he is finding that the situation is taking a toll in other areas of his life, such as work, then one might consider medication but, personally, I would be against it. Much more good can come from the counselling approach and helping him to find positive aspects in it.

It's sometimes helpful to remember that there are things that we can do nothing about, so it's not worth spending the energy worrying about them because they will sort themselves in their own good time. There are things we can do something about but which depend on things yet to happen, so they can go on the back burner. Finally, there are things which we can do something about now and should do. Once done, it's not worth worrying about whether they were done right or not - they are done to the best of our ability.

Most depressions involve worrying over things which we can actually do nothing about, so it's worth making a list of the points to see what is actually worth spending time on.

Answer 2

It depends alot on the problem and your relationship with your partner and your partners father. If you thought that you would help by getting involved then you could try, but I'd advise you to check with your partner before becoming involved he may not want you too. As for his depression, you could sensitively ask him how much his depression is affecting him and maybe ask him if he felt seeing his doctor would help? Being there for him and being supportive and listening is the best option, no matter what other course of action you take. Make sure you don't let it take over your life too or you will become upset by it all too, and that won't help any of you. Good luck.

Answer 3

Being there for him is a very very good start. You should, however, keep an eye on how he is doing. These types of things have been known to trigger a major depression. Just learn what you can about depression and be prepared to offer some suggestions perhaps for him to see a doctor (for medicine) if he becomes severely depressed. Certainly, he will at least listen if he knows you really care about him.

These things take lots and lots of patience. Just hang in there and do what is best for him. Everything will be better in the end.

Blessings
Jon

Answer 4

i dont know what the isue is but i can understand where you are coming from. being there, being a shoulder to cry on/to lean on, an ear to talk to... i think that is the best you can give... at least thats what i think from the information you have given. sometimes it helps to get things out in the open and off your chest so you being there could be a great help to him. if he is depressed maybe you could suggest him going to see someone, eg. doctor or shrink. if he doesnt want to or doesnt want to go alone, you could always go with him as support. i hope this helps in some way, shape or form. take care

Answer 5

He should go to his doctor and tell him/her about the depression symptoms and how long they have been going on. He should also ask about counsellors who specialize in the problems/issues he is having with his dad.

Depression is very difficult and as a partner, you can be supportive, but he needs professional care and advice. Your patience and love are invaluable, but encourage him to seek a doctor's advice. He'll probably feel much better, much sooner!

Good luck and take care.

Answer 6

be there for him so that he knows that he can talk to you about and knowing there is someone there will help him. But if he is feeling depressed you would need to get him to see someone as if the problems go way back he may need some professional help as he will have alot of emotions from along time ago that will need dealing with. good luck!

Answer 7

Yes be there for him, but remember if he has depression you may not be able to help him by yourself, try to talk him into talkin to a shrink (I know most ppl hate that being suggested to them, they just think that if they're talkin to a shrink then ppl will think they're crazy), but if he has any type of serious depression it may be needed. Try suggesting family counselling and getting him to sit and talk with his dad, but if he refuses both of these then about all you can do is to be there for him and support him through this time...hope this helps

Answer 8

Let him lean on you and be his support through this tough time. But at the same time, tell him that he's grown up now and he doesn't have to live by his dad's rules if he doesn't want to.

Don't give him tough love, but give love that is also tough. There is a difference.

I know how he feels, though. My dad is pretty strict with me too.

Answer 9

It's good that you're being patient and there for him,but maybe he needs to see his Dr about feeling depressed.Some kind of counselling may be good for him to talk through these issues about his Dad as well.

Answer 10

You doing right up to now girl,just keep a eye on him as this may cut deeper than you think, its rare you get the whole story and sometimes its better you get prof help but good on you for being there!