Concerned by relationship.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We are both divoced with chidlren. Until recently we have kept our relationship to ourselves. Not wanting to involve our children until we were certain that the relationship was stable. I have three under the age of 10 and a 15 yr old and he has 2 in HS 2 in college. Due to a car malfunction it made it necessary for him to meet my children as he helps me to take them to school. so they know we are dating and are fine with it. The problem is that he in a way is to private. It seems that it's fine for my friends and family to know we are dating but not his. I understand that he and his ex have never brought anyone to meet their kids. and that part I'm fine with. But he refuses to acknowlege our relationship with anyone else. His mother is visiting and asked him if he had a GF and he told her it wasn't her business. I've never met any of his friends. When I ask he just says it's none of thier business. So any thoughts?

he is not still in relationship with ex. She is actually the only one that does know we are dating.

some have brought up the possiblility of another relationship. We are together most of the time. Except when we are at work. And even then we sneak conversations on messenger. and after the kids go to bed he comes over and 6 out of 7 nights he spends the night.

Answer 1

Sounds like he is hiding something to me. Keeping the relationship on the "under" only when it comes to his friends and family is very suspicious. Demand to meet at least his family. If he refuses, you should re-think your relationship.

Answer 2

First of all I would like to applaud you on the sacrifice you made in regards to not letting your personal relationship with your boyfriend interfere with the relationship you have with your children. I know exactly what you are going through because I am divorced with children and I am also dating. My children had taken the divorce pretty hard and I can’t imagine putting them through that again.
In regards to your question:
It is not fair that his friends and family do not know that you are dating him and yours do.
I know you are hurting; after all you have invested two years of your life into this relationship. The best way to handle this is to talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel. If he disagrees, you have to make a tough decision.
You could continue like things are with your children knowing about him therefore, taking the risk of your children getting attached to him and getting hurt if the relationship does not work out or you could end the relationship because your children’s mental stability and the respect they have for you come first.
Like most people who are divorced and are going through the same thing.
“I don’t want to die old and lonely; I need companionship.”
Despite what happens you will always have your children and their happiness and well being comes first. Therefore, you will never be alone.
I realized a long time ago that I do not need a woman to define who I am.
Please! Realize that you do not need a man to define who you are.
I am sure you are a strong, loving, caring person and you will make the right decision for you and your children. Good luck.
I will keep you in my prayers, sincerely Michael
Feel free to write me if you have any other questions, I hope it works out for you

Answer 3

Tell him to be honest most of all to himself, than to you and people in your lives. He must accept the fact that he is not living alone in this world. and he must interact with people around him. To you he must be open and know for sure that he can trust you and some people in his life.
I think maybe he has a self-confident problem about himself. Feeling ashamed to admit he is in a relationship and afraid to get hurt.
Give him reassurance that he can rust you completely and be at ease with his surroundings especially involving with people or society. I know it is wise not to trust anyone but we have to draw the line at some point. We cant do everything on our own. We still need people to survive emotionally & economically.

Hope you get your answer from this. Good luck with your relationship.

Answer 4

Many men are reserved in getting their relationship come to open. While one reason could be his not being sincere to you, other would be his indecisiveness of future. IMHO Dont rush into thinking he doesnt love you but maybe ya try to openly talk about this with him saying you would cherish 10 times the relationship if he got you to meet his friends/family.

Answer 5

Hmmm could this be why his last relationship failed????
The Bible says clear back in Genesis
"For this reason a man will leave his Father and MOther and Cleave to his Wife"
Talk it out,
Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

Are you sure this guy isnt married or has another girl on the side? It sounds pretty suspiscious to behave that way after 2 years!

Answer 7

ask him... talk to him if you think its something you can do... maybe he has a very good reason.. how much does it bother you.. how much can you stand this ... etc.. just follow ur heart, clear the air if you can.. I can understand not telling his mum if he has issues with her but not telling his friends i dont know that dosent sound too good to me still its ur life do whatever you think is best for you.

Answer 8

i really think you need to have a sit down and really long chat to your boy friend. and if he keeps telling you these stupid excuses then i would recommened that you move on with your life without him in it!
don't worry your children wont get hurt, if they have any questions, answer them as correct as possible.

Answer 9

I think your situation is pretty simple ...
You should understand his point of view and also make him understand yours....
After all you are in Love......

Answer 10

if i didnt know better i would say he was still in his relationship and that would give him reaon not to tel anyone