i take relatively long to get used to new people i meet at work place in college and they think this is weird, i dont like talking much with people at first instance
2006-06-06 21:02:35 · 20 answers · asked by cnyagaya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Personally, I think the sort of person who is immediately loud and outgoing with someone they've never met is a nuisance. I start off quiet and gain confidence and a develop a rapport with people over time. If you just jump in there and talk to them like you're best buddies, people (English people anyway), find it irritating and intrusive.
If you feel shy or awkward in social situations and don't feel you can join in, then maybe you would benefit from being more outgoing. But you can't just flick a switch and suddenly be more relaxed with people. When I was at college, I was painfully shy. As you grown older, you are thrown into situations where you have no choice but to ignore the impulse to hide in the corner. If you don't, then you'll end up with no friends, no girlfriend, a crappy job and a dull life. The worse part is that people mistake shyness for rudeness, so as well as feeling isolated everyone will think you're an idiot!
As you get older, you realise that your life is defined by your relationships with others. No one lived a happy, fulfilling life by avoiding human contact. If you're shy, then the first part of building a relationship with others is mostly about acting more confident that you are, asking people questions rather than silently ignoring them, and being friendly without being pushy or presumptuous. It'll soon come naturally.
2006-06-07 01:01:22 · answer #1 · answered by Tayles_100 2 · 8⤊ 1⤋
It is OK to be reserved. There is nothing abnormal about that. Thats the way you are. Infact some people find reserved people interesting as they are mysterious in their own way and that adds to a special charm they possess. Because you are reserved, people may wanna know you more, they may get curious about you and thats how you can make friends/boyfriends/girlfriends.
But at the same time, don't let it take over you completely, cos you have got to be a little outgoing at your work place/college to make good contacts and create goodwill for yourself as there are people who may mistake you to be a "snob".
2006-06-07 15:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by oops1388 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit reserved too and it takes a long time to know me, but it's a defence against the bores. What you can and should do is to seem approachable. You don't need to be open to be so, just seem like other people can come to you without being rebuffed. That way you can judge if this person merits your confidence or nor, without giving yourself out. Men might even appreciate that, as you will be "the one who dosn't flirt with everyone."
2006-06-07 05:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Richard III 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine to be reserved or quiet but be aware that if you put out "do not approach me" vibes.....especially if you are a woman then you will find yourself terminally single.
In order for men to approach you it is important to give encouragement. Smiling, eye-contact and giving more than one-word answers (and asking open questions) will all help you seem more approachable. You can still be reserved without seeming unfriendly.
Best wishes,
Viking.
2006-06-07 04:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by Viking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stuff what other people think. All that matters is that you actually like yourself. Being reserved isn't a problem. So, just carry on being the way you are.
2006-06-07 07:10:47 · answer #5 · answered by Invisible 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to be who you are. People will not like you if you are "acting" or pretending to be something you are not. Do you have a secret wish to not be reserved? If so, then let your hair down, and clown around a little. If not..then be reserved and love it.
2006-06-07 04:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be too bother about what people think, just be yourself because one day you will over come this as it has happen to me before. Read this:- Title: Controls
You cannot control the length of your life but you can control its width and depth.
You cannot control the contour of you countenance but you can control its espression.
You cannot control the other person's opportunities but you can grasp your own.
You cannot control the weather but you can control the moral atmosphere which surrounds you.
You cannot control the distance that you head shall be above the ground but you can control the height of the contents of your mind
You cannot control other's person's fault but you can see to it that you yourself do not develope or harbour provoking propensities.
WHY WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL?
GET BUSY CONTROLLING THE THINGS THAT DEPEND ON YOU.
2006-06-07 04:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by simple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your comfortable with your self,it does not matter how others percieve you.
there is a strong argument that by taking your time to get to know people is the correct way to do things and by taking your time there is less chance of friends letting you down.
mike
2006-06-07 04:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by listener06y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to trust yourself in everything you do. I'm also reserved but i tend to be very social when you show me that you are OK with me. Sometimes we have to be cautious because we don't know who we are dealing with.
2006-06-07 04:23:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It’s ok as long as you feel it’s ok. I’m like you too: I need months to talk freely to oethers and even years to get people like. I admit I don’t have many friends, but I don’t really need many.
2006-06-07 04:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋