How do you cope with falling in love with someone you can never have?

Question

Ah! here's the deal...
I am good friends with this guy that I've known since three yrs. old.
When we were seven he moved on the otherside of america. We have been writing letters ever since (but now we email) and we do it so often that I kno him pretty well by now, even thou we're thousands of miles away :(. Sometimes we exchange pics and stuff. But he's also a writer and sends me his stories, which I read, even thou they're so freakin long. Recently he wrote a story about the failed attempts he's had in keeping a girlfriend. When I was reading I couldn't help but feeling really jealous. He's wonderful, but clearly I'm out of my brains, and he will end up settling and falling in love with a girl in his own state.I have trouble facing this, we have so much in common and are always there for eachother, and have been for the past 14 years.It freaks me out that I'm this attached, I can't stand to face the truth.And I'm afraid once he finds a very serious relationship, we might lose touch

His book is def not about me, he is almost a Senior in high school (I'm almost graduating one more week) but we're the same age. His story was very detailed, almost evolving around this one girl who I kno broke his heart and he still likes. She moved away to a diff state a couple of months ago but is coming back to visit or stay. He keeps me up to date on those things, I 'm sure he still REALLY likes her, and while he tells me this, I get jealous :(. I think I just want to get over him but I've been trying for over a year but he's always in my freakin head! It's rediculous! That's how I know I'm in love, but I could never even tell him I have a crush on him, I think it might scare him. After all, we haven't seen eachother in person since we were 7... so we're like really close pen pals. : / I think I need freakin therapy :[

Answer 1

talk to him . Good luck!

Answer 2

You have nothing to lose by eventually telling him how you feel. It may be that you "love" him because he is so far away and not available. You are both young. Don't write him off (no pun intended) until you give him a chance. Go slow though. If he is just out of a relationship, you don't want to be the rebounder. Trust me. Good friends from grade school can and do get married and live very happily. Good luck to you. Nana

Answer 3

Well since you are graduating, ask him if you can come visit during the summer to hang out, see the sites, You might be surprized for something more. Don't go if he is mending a broken heart because unfortunately my dear you may just be a substitute and who wants to be second best. Good luck. BTW- I married my best friend of 4 years and we have been married 6 now, nothing is impossible.

Answer 4

hey, hang in there. i was in the same situation. i had to wait to 2 yrs to date my best friend. just tell him how you feel, and if he doesnt want to, dont get upset. sometimes people dont realize how much they love someone until they really think about it. right now he doesnt want to ruin a good thing between yall. just try to date someone else for awhile, to ease your mind. and by him sending you all those long emails, theres something there, he's just not aware of it. what guy rights any girl long *** emails if they dont love them. his actions prove other wise. back off and tell him why youre backing off. distance makes the heart grow fonder. and i'm a true believer in that. never say never, unless you can tell the future. give him a chance for the green light to come on when he thinks about you. he's probaly looking for the same traits in those girls that you already have!

Answer 5

Dont be afraid of losing touch. Since you two sound like such good friends, he prolly wouldn't ever do that to you. Also, ask him in a hypothetical question what he would do if he absolute best friend had a crush on him, and see his answer. If he finds out its you, YAY YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON A SMART GUY! lol. also, if he doesnt find out, just come out and say it and find out a reaction. tell me what happens. i'll be curious and wont be able to get over it. :P

Answer 6

you need to visit him or have him visit you and actually spend time with him. If after being around him you still feel the same. you need to let him know how you feel. So you can let go of what ever you have inside. Is not healthy to keep those feelings inside. If he is not interested. my advise is to stay friends. But you need to keep a journal. For couple of days or weeks or until your journal is full write down every single thought you have about him. If is a song write it down. carry it with you. After is full send it to him. Trust me you will feel better. It worked for me.

Answer 7

BEING GOOD FRIENDS SINCE YOU WERE 7 YEARS OLD IS A GOOD STEP KEEP WRITING TO HIM LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR HIM. WHEN YOU EMAIL THIS PERSON NEXT TIME LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM THAT YOU WANT TO SPEND ALOT OF TIME WITH HIM AND THAT YOU CONSIDER HIM MORE THEN FRIENDS THERES NO REASON IN THE WORLD FOR YOU TO BE JEALOUS OF THIS PERSON BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE SHES NOT IN HIS LIFE ANY LONGER EVEN IF HE WANTS IT TO BE THAT WAY UNLESS SHE IS WILLING TO GO BACK WITH HIM HE CANT HAVE THAT WITH HER SO HE HAS TO MOVE ON JUST LET HIM KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT YOU FEEL FOR HIM YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED HE MIGHT FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU KEEP ME POSTED GOOD LUCK NAD

Answer 8

eye have the very same problem with this girl at school..she like another guy and eye think that she no longer likes me..see the best solution to this type of problem is to ask him how he feels about you...if you dont show that you have strong feelings for him he prolly wont tell you..and you could miss out on what could be love...just tell him and he prolly feels the same way about you and is unsure if you like him..so just put it out in the open.

=)

good luck.

Answer 9

i have found it best that for the time it is best just to sit and wait this is of coarse after you should tell him how you feel if he rejects you live on i fell in love with my best friend several years back and fianlly told her after she rejected me i tried to get into a new relationship but the truth is i still love her so much i cant express in words a person cant help how they feel so dive in dont ask questions or ever look back you have nothing to loose.

Answer 10

You have to face the possible loss in order to hope to achieve the love of your heart. You will definately lose if you do not try.If you lose him, best to lose wrapped in truth and honesty. Get a backbone and go after what you know you want!

Answer 11

you should tell him how you really feel about him, since you
stated that you have know him for such along time, then it should
be real easy, he may feel the same way about you. if not then
you will alway have a wondeful friend. and friend are very hard
to come back true one. just be honest with him.