I ran up a credit card of 2500 dollars, the reason i spent up on it was because our financial crcumstances changed and we have lost $300 p/m. Mind you it went on the food that was put in my husbands stomach. But now he is acting like i put all this money into the poker machines and it's all my fault, if he didn't quit his old job and started another one on less pay i would not have done it. I need some advice on what to do? He has taken my car keys all the bank cards and expects me to sit at home Mind you we have a 3yo son.And now i have no money at all.
2006-06-06 18:13:44 · 18 answers · asked by jobear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is paying for food and housing and the rest of the money is being used to pay the bill off you made, then he is teaching you to budget. Hopefully when the bill is paid off you can respect him for taking care of your family through a crisis.
I hope this is the situation but you didn't give enough details to let us know if he has tightened his own budget down to bare necessities too.
2006-06-06 18:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably not the best thing to spend money that you don't have or money that your not going to have. You do have to pay that money back and if you don't have a job its your husbands check that will go toward the bill. But on the other hand you also have to have basic needs to live and if that is what you were spending the money on then I would explain that to him in a calm, cool and collected mind set. And with the car you need to explain to him that there are things that you and your son can do that don't need money. Like go to the park, swimming or something like that. And if there is an emergency you need your car to take him to the hospital or whatever. Good Luck just because you have ran up the credit card doesn't mean that your marriage is over. You have to have trust especially when it comes to money.
2006-06-07 01:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by carrieleigh20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I really hope that you haven't "stuffed" your marraige. You mention that he thinks that you put it in the machines. Have you given him a reason to think this? It would have taken you 8 months to build up a 2500 bill on a credit card because of a loss of 300 a month. If you are really concerned about your marrige, you need to abide by his rules for the time that it takes to establish trust in you again. I am not blaming you, but it sounds like there was a little more going on than Grocery shopping here. I know this is going to be a pain in the butt, but you owe it to your son to do what it takes to keep your family together, and I know that you can do it!
Good luck!
2006-06-07 01:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you and your husband need to have a talk. I can understand both sides. I suspect he is shocked to have found out that the credit card now has a balance without anything to show for it. (Now in addition to all of the other expenses you have a monthly credit card payment to make) It is hard to imagine that you were so strapped that you needed a credit card to buy food. I think if you were being honest with yourself, you would acknowledge there are ways to tighten the budget without starving, now that your husband is making less money. You need to discuss a budget with you husband, lay it all out, and decide how you want to spend the money you have. Do not deviate from the budget and things will take care of themselves, including establishing a savings.
Good luck.
2006-06-07 01:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by c_schumacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you try to talk to him about how you are feeling? if so, then good job. He needs to understand that there will always be bills and this one can get paid off. you did not say if you had any money on the card before the 2500, but if you did, then he is overreacting, and if not, then he just needs to pay the minimum balance until there are a few other bills paid in full and just add that money to the credit card. I hope all gets better soon. best of luck!
2006-06-07 01:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by michelle s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now this makes sense....(if he didn't quit his old job and started another one on less pay i would not have done it.)
Maybe he wasn't happy with his old job and maybe he has a better chance at promotion in his newer job.
What you did was selfish and inconsiderate and instead of being mad at him..... YOU should be mad at yourself.
So what if he is treating you like a little kid, did you really think you wouldn't deserve it!?!? You reap what you sow...
You weren't thinking about your child while you were spending the money...losing money and then blowing on credit no less....
I'm sure you and your son are still well taken care of...but I wonder how long it's going to take for your husband to trust you...
Maybe as long as it will take him to pay off the credit card bill!!!!!
2006-06-07 02:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might have an emergency with your son where he might need something from the store i can't understand him taking the keys away but the credit card part i do understand you two need to get to a christian counselor soon he has lost trust in you which has put your marriage in crisis even if it doesn't appear that way to you. his opinion his dropped alot almost like your a child to take such drastic measures but don't be mad understand his side even "a little" gambling when your so poor you have to buy food on credit is stupid childish behavior don't go to a machine untill you can afford to meaning all your bills are paid ect but not paid on the credit because that means there not really paid yet bills are always first after that leftover money save or do whatever with it!
2006-06-07 01:31:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your son into a good daycare centre & get yourself a job so you can understand why your husband may have changed jobs in the first place.How long has it been since you have worked?
It may have been a good idea to talk to your husband before you started using the credit card .
2006-06-07 01:23:58 · answer #8 · answered by hazel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you, my dear are an idiot. You should feel lucky that taking away the car is all that he did! You are self centered with no self control!!! You act as tho' none of this is your fault, you can not and will not even realize that you are to blame! You need psychiatric help and you need it soon. clean the house and take care of that kid and be a better wife because so far you are a complete failure!!!
2006-06-07 01:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by dontstealmyeyeballs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o hell no!!that is what i would tell him!!your expected just to sit at home with the baby all day?i would take back my car keys first of all what if there was an emergency?he has no right regardless of who's making the money that is both your income you spend it how you feel in a reasonable matter,get your stuff back and leave his ass if he don't like it
2006-06-07 06:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Terri w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋