Family Emergency!?

Question

What do you do when you have a family member that has died that was very important to you? You have seen the person at his visitaion and it makes you want to fall on the floor and cry!!! My Grandpa John H. Fallon, of Hancock Michigan just died on Saturday morning June 3,2006. I am having a hard time trying to cope with the death because he was such an important person in my life. And my Grandma is the person who his death has the most effect on. They were married for 50 years! (anniversary in February) And had 10 beautiful children! (My Mom the 9th) My question really is that has anyone had a loved one die? And how do you cope with it? Will you ever get done mourning?

Answer 1

When my Grandpa died the day after my 14th birthday, I wanted to die. I spent my birthday in hospital watching him. He was in a coma, and was for 4 days before passing away. It's the most horrific pain i've experienced in my life. It's now been 7.5years and although the pain has subsided, i still find that sometimes I'll just sit and cry because I miss him so much. I was his favourite of 16 grandchildren, and he was my favourite person in the world, and now i'll never know if he really knew how much he meant to me. The pain will change, but it will never go away. I am SO sorry for your loss, and I completely understand what you're going through. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 2

I had a brother who was hit by a drunk driver. He had to go into surgery for his brain. We live in Michigan also and he lived in Arkansas with his wife (8 months pregnant at the time) and their 5 year old son. He was in a coma, medically induced. He lived in a coma only for one month and died. It was very devastating. Death usually is. No matter what form it comes in. You end up asking the same questions-Why, tops the list. I do know that my brother is in a better place and that he is happier now than he ever was here. This happened back in 1992, 2 days before my birthday. It was very hard. I will say that it does get easier with time, but you will never forget. I still shed a tear to this day when I think of him. The year I had the most difficulty with was when I turned the same age he was when he died. Know that there IS a time to mourn. It is only natural to feel the way you feel when you lose someone that is close to you. There are no quick remedies. It helps "some" to think about all the joy he brought to your life and the times that you had together. Even reminisce about the things he taught you. It will get better, one day at a time (as already stated). It doesn't mean it gets forgotten....

Good luck to you and God bless.......I know it is hard......

Answer 3

One night three years ago my long-time business partner and I were closing up for the night when he fell over beside me. I thought he had tripped but when I asked him what he was doing I realized something was wrong. I nor the EMTs could revive him from a massive heart attack. A few hours later that night, I called my father who then informed me that an old friend of mine had just died that same day. One week later, my aunt who I was very close to died as well.
The only way I knew to cope was to keep their memories alive within me. It may be different for you and the members of your family. Each of us must experience these things at some point and to various extents as we continue to live and we must deal and cope in our own personal way. Grieving and mourning are important to the process of continuing to live without our loved ones. Most of those who have died have had to deal with the same thing you are experiencing.
You will experience more of this sooner or later. One way that may help is to make certain that you express your love to those you care about. Also, this may be a good opportunity to open your eyes to things around you that may now have a higher priority, and release things that may now have become of little importance.

Answer 4

First of all I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :( i have been through a similar situation with my grandparents and know how hard it is to deal with. My grandma and uncle died on the same day both from heart attacks. My grandad then had a heart attack on the night of their funeral and also died. It was a VERY hard time for me and my family so i know what you must be going through. You'll never stop loving and missing them but it will get easier as time goes by. The best thing you and your family can do is be there for each other and support each other. Remember all the good times you shared with him. Please make sure to look after your grandma, she may be very weak at a time like this & needs extra attention. There is no easy way to get through this unfortunately, you have to go through the mourning process in order to move on with your life. It is hard but you can do it! i wish you & your family all the best! :)

Answer 5

my father died 7 years ago and I can tell it hurts (still). he was the most important person in my life and sometimes when I see a car like his i think: my dad... people might think I crazy but I'm still trying to let it go. Everyday i talk to him, every time I need to make a decision I ask him for advice and I know he is somewhere watching over me. In my personal opinion you never get done mourning... Everyday i remember something different about him. the way he used to smell, the way he used to ask for something, the kiss goodmorning, the beautiful eyelashes he had, the parties we had at home, the way he walked.... and the list goes on and on. My father died 4 months after my parents celebrate their 35th anniversary and that was something really painful for my mom plus he was her first bf!!! losing him has been the worst thing in my life but I keep him close to me by making him part of my life. I don't act like i have no father, i act like I have a father who happens to be somewhere where i cant be at the moment but one day I will. So, dont matter how many years past, the pain of losing someone close to you, someone you really love is always going to be there. through the years you learn how to deal with that empty space but as long as you think of him/her you will always feel that emptyness inside your heart.

Answer 6

My Granfather died 7 years ago. I was numb. I didn't deal with my pain or heartache. Don't get me wrong i loved my grandfather and he was a very big part of my life. About a year ago it finally hit me full throttle, like a sack of lead bricks. I broke down in the middle of school and started to cry badly. I went home and sat in my room for 2 days sraight i couldn't move. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't wait til 6 years after his dealth to deal with your pain and remember that hes in a better place where he can't hurt or feel pain anymore and I'm sure he'll want you to be happy also.

Answer 7

You should never mourn their death, You should celebrate their life and what it mean. He is looking down at you like u god here she goes crying, Can't she see I am in a place where there is no pollution, no crime, no children suffering, I am NOT paying TAXES any more. I have all I need and I still get to see over my family and watch them grow. and do funny things,,,,, He is cool, you should know that about him,,,,,, Sorry for you loss, but he is happier now......

Answer 8

my mother died when i was 6 moths old...for the most part of my life i had a whole in my heart too big to fill.in my culture you are only allowed a number of days to mourn.to end the mourning,thank the good maker for the great grandfather that was given to you,thank the maker for the time you had with him,then ask him to go to his maker.i realize now that even though my mother was With me for only six months of my life,that i am blessed indeed that i come from her,that in so many ways i carry her with me.do not weep,you are not alone,as long as your blood line exist then your grandfather will always be with you and your generations to come.

Answer 9

im sorry for ur loss ...but as they say time is a great healer..this will take time and at the moment its still very raw and ur all in shock ...it will get worse before it gets better at this time....but it will get better and u will never get over it u cant cuz u will always miss them and wish they were still around ..but u will cope hon...if things get real bad try and talk to a therapist about it ...this will help u deal and cope with the loss..i understand how u feel i lost my father suddenly 6 years ago he was just 59 yrs old ...but im coping as best i can but i still and always will miss him...im sorry for ur loss and i wish u well and u and ur family are in my prayers

Answer 10

Cry, let it out.My grandmother died when I was four I know how you feel.I'm sorry about your grandfather. But the main thing I want you to know is he's in a better place now.If you try to hold it in you will have that pain forever,So go ahead cry no ones ashamed of it.I'm terribly sorry about your grand father.I wish I knew my grandma better.