my boyfriend's grandmother offended me today, unintentionally.?

Question

she made a comment that she didn't want anymore grandchildren. I am 30yrs. old and i don't have any children. I would love to have a child with my boyfriend of 5yrs. we are considering marriage in the near future. he really respects his grandmother's opinions. she didn't say anything to him regarding this matter...just to me. what should i do? should i talk to him about it and let him know hos granny hurt my feelings. i used to think highly of her and like her, now i don't know what to think.

Answer 1

Don't worry about what granny said. You and your boyfriend have a family of your own to build. Trust me, granny will love your children. Really, she will.

I don't know about granny's experiences, but probably what she's worried about is more work for her, like maybe some of her kids treat her like an on call babysitter with no life of her own and just dump the grandkids on her doorstep without a by your leave. Grandparents really don't like that and don't look forward to seeing folks that might do that have more kids. If you do have children, and you don't take advantage of her love, she might be really happy to see you have grandkids.

As for telling your boyfriend about how it hurt you, you don't want to put him in a position where he has to either be with you against granny, or the other way around. One of the burdens of being a woman, I suppose.

Bottom line, if you and your boyfriend want to have kids, then do it. Granny will adjust, and if you don't abuse her, your kid mught just be her FAVORITE grandchild!

Answer 2

Her comment, while hurtful, may not have had anything to do with her truly not wanting grandchildren from you and your future husband.

She could be making this kind of remark as a way of saying "I sure am reminded about my age with each new grandchild". OR "I wish I wasn't used as a babysitter quite as often with my current grandchildren".

I would ask her directly about this, because it seems that if she has only shared this with you that it may not be something that she thought out.

Ask her "why" she made this comment. Tell her that you were afraid that the interpretations you made were not accurate and wanted to truly understand what she meant. Give her a chance to clarify herself.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Cottons? that is an answer from around the pond i assume, yet i be responsive to i'm going to positioned on shorts or pants or shirts once or twice extra after the 1st positioned on in the event that they nevertheless scent nice. it is not like there is a few hidden cooties or something on a pair of pants that have been worn for at some point. study have even shown that however some think of clothing that have been worn as quickly as are "grimy", they have a similar volume of micro organism 40 days after the 1st wash.

Answer 4

Don't pay any attention to her, and don't repeat what she says to anyone. Your body, your bf and possible future husband can do whatever you wish, she is not in charge of your lives. She should have kept her opinion to herself on this matter, but when it comes down to it, you shouldn't care either way what she wants or doesn't want with regards to your lives. If she brings up the subject again, don't discuss it with her. If she presses you, change the subject or tell her its a private choice between you and your bf. If you do that, she will have more respect for you, than allowing her to start off running your lives for you.

Answer 5

You said it yourself, she said it UNINTENTIONALLY. By the time your ready to have children she wont even remember what she said.. besides any good grandmother takes one look at her grand-baby & falls in love. Maybe she's old fashioned and wants you two to be married first. Dont let that bother you. Tell him she hurt your feelings but just so you get it off your chest. Also remember that is his Grandmother so talk about your feeling and not anything bad about her. Really just let it pass.

Answer 6

U din't have to go by what she wants. So what if she doesn't want anymore that doesn't mean she's gonna have it her way. It was just a comment, besides if u two should have a child b 4 she pass away, she may be crazy about the baby, she may be the one who spoils it and love it almost as much as u and he

Answer 7

Don't let granny get your goat! I would keep the converstation/statement to yourself...don't tell your boyfriend. If you and your boyfriend decide that you want children, then by all means have children. It is a decision to be made by the two of you and not granny.

Answer 8

This is the same advice I would give to someone who's grandmother wants to know when they are going to have children. When two people decide to have a child, they need to be the people who decide if, when, and how many. Don't ask grandma, and if she gives unsolicited advise, just smile and nod...Also sometimes when we get older, we say things before we think. Give her this one. You never know what kind of things you may say when you are her age...

Answer 9

Yikes,, no offense but consider how petty any attack in revenge might be.

Unintentionally is a keyword, Let it be old news and do what you want anyway,,Gads how silly.

THINK anything you want, just keep it to yourself,,, no gllom or doom here but she is not going to likely be the center of anyones Universe for long, and at the very least, your silence about this is the best respect you can show to her and yourself,,, Gads,,,grrrrrr.. Yikes,,,, etc etc etc

Answer 10

If you want children, you get children. If he is going to be married to you, you need to trust each other and talk about things and be a team. The granny won't be around forever so live your life.