How many years should you be with someone before you get married?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and have been living with him for 6 months. We are both young, 22 and 23, but we have not talke about getting married, but he is talking about getting a house ...so on and so forth, but when do you think I should worry about him not asking me the question yet...after 3 or 4 years?
Any one out there that has been in this position?

Answer 1

It's all what you want. My husband and I got engaged after two weeks, married after three months, from our first date. But I have friends that dated for four or more years. I have one friend who dated her now husband for three years and then lived together for six years before getting married. And he never asked her, she brought it up, and then he asked her. It had never occured to him to go to next level. Some guys are liike that. It all depends on the guy, and how they view you. Some guys love their "girlfriends" so much, they can't imagine them as "wives". They're afraid they'll change or something. Even if they live together.

Answer 2

First of all I would never have moved in the house with him without a ring on my finger. Secondly he has already waited too long to ask you. I would think by now he knows you well enough. One year or less is long enough for two people to know each other before you get married. Sometimes circumstances such as school, jobs, income and environment can cause marriage to be put on hold for a period of time. This in itself is understandable. If there are no other issues I see no reason why a couple will not get married unless one or the other doesn't want to. I would talk to him about this before he bought a house for both of you to live in. I am surprised that he hasn't brought marriage up to you at least once or twice after all this time. Both of you are still young. To me this is all the more reason why you shouldn't settle down in a house with a man unless marriage is in your future.You should be going to parties, dating and having fun at this age not taking the role as a housewife when you are not even engaged. This could put a major hold on your life, after all you are still single. If you are single why would you allow someone to put a ball and chain on you without commitment? If he gets mad when you talk to him about this then he is a jerk and doesn't deserve you. This is just my thoughts on the subject.

Answer 3

My husband and I married after knowing one another for 2 months and 11 days. By the way, we were both 19. We are very happy together and expecting our second child this Christmas. It's not about know each other the right amount of time or being a certain age. The two of you need to be mature enough to handle marriage. Talk about your views and expectations regarding marriage and make sure you are on the same page. When the time is right, you'll know.

Answer 4

Shacking up is usually not very conducive to marriage. Why should your boyfriend even think about popping the question when he's got all the benefits without all the strings attached? If the two of you are even remotely serious about getting married, you should consider going back to living separately and stop playing house. I'm not saying this in a rude or judgmental way, I'm really trying to be helpful. When I was much younger (about your age, in fact) I shacked up with my girlfriend and it was a terrible mistake. A lot of other people I know suffered similarly.

Answer 5

Do not move in the house with him unless there is some kind of a commitment. I have been married for six years. I do not think you have to live with your boyfriend for years or months before you get married. You know within a few months if you are meant to be together or not. If you do not know that you are not meant to be together. Whatever you do, DO NOT move with him. Take the destiny in your hands. This is your life, you have to direct it, not he. Be a smart girl. Good luck

Answer 6

I am 22, similar issue....been w/ my bf 7 year I wanted to get married...but I glad we are not married leaving together is better even though I wanted to and brought up the issue just got him mad.. ..men are scared of commitment.. the more u talk about the issue the more you push them back..they rather live with you and have nothing tying them down...Good Luck

Answer 7

My husband and I were together for 5 1/2 years before we got married, 4 1/2 before he proposed (we were 16 when we started dating). I would talk to him about it to see where he stands, but don't push the issue 'cause it will just make him mad (trust me I know from experience!!) Good luck to you.

Answer 8

well your first mistake is living with him, statistics show that living together prior to marriage will end up in a higher likely hood of divorce, also at your age even if you get married in 4 years you will more than likely get divorced, neither one of you have established you lifepaths just yet, career, and by you hanging on to him he will never fully reach his goals ( and the reverse it true ), your best bet would be living apart and keeping in touch while both of you pursue you life goals ( marriage aside )

Answer 9

You should be able to just bring it up with him and chat about it. Don't tell him you want a date set..but just ask if he ever thought about the two of you getting married. I'm very surprised you've dated so long and haven't discussed it yet.

Answer 10

My Husband and I were together for 4 years before he proposed, and believe you me i thought he was never going to ask me! :O) But it was the perfect time, and you just have to be patient. Dont mention it too much to him, or push it...you might ruin the surprise! Just be patient and if it is meant to be it will happen...remember everything has its time and place and everthing happens for a reason. Just be patient :O)