he's messed up my money and his, I'm always the one who has to figure out what to do after he f*** up. I'm really sick of him. I'm 21 and I feel like I'm 40 because of the stress I'm under. everyday hoping hasn't messed up the rent money or the car note. or if I'll have enough money for food in the house. mentally i'm so sick and physically i can't take no more. for 3 years i've went though this. I need a wiser person's advice.
2006-06-06 16:01:40 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lady!! You've already answered your own question. Just how long will you put up with it?? I mean..It might be too late. He may just be waiting for you to come to your senses and put your foot down. Then he will take off like a shot, because sugar momma aint being sweet no more.
2006-06-06 16:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him? Do you believe in marriage? Okay. Now what you can do is just take charge of the money. He get's a cash allowance. If you don't like dealing with the finances, you'll still have to when your single, so just grow up about it. And believe me on this, you don't feel like your 40 yet hun, just wait till the kids come into the picture! then you'll really need the nerve pills. You'll get the hang of this, just don't let him near the bank accounts. If he can't agree, then you'll just have to separate the money into yours and mine. Separate the bills, yours and mine. And if he screws up again, you can separate the marriage. Try to remember why you got married.
2006-06-07 00:34:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WoW! You sound like me, you should email me. I am 36and I have no desire for my husband what soever! I HATE having sex with him! I have been married 10 years and have a 9 year old. He has bashed my self esteem and put me down so bad that I have gotten to the point where I try not to look at him or be around him. I want to leave him so bad, but am worried about my finances and my daughter. :>( Get out quick before you have kids. I feel soo trapped like I'm in a loveless prison.
2006-06-07 01:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by maxine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey , most people don't follow the bible any more when they get married but there is a lot of wisdom in there. the bible teaches that if you get divorced you can't remarry, even if he divorces you, do you have any idea why it says that? most don't, it's because you will do and say things to drive him away to justify your being free again. you will create a means to an end, and then people will tell you that god doesn't want you to suffer, well they are being more merciful than god. god told you what he wanted, the only reason people get married is because of the bible and gods words. but they fail to regard it when they get married. why get married if you don't want to follow the rules, sure all your friends are out there with a new guy every night and here is you stuck in a dead end marriage, no one could tell you before you got married that it wasn't all romance, now you want out. you didn't say you didn't want sex any more only that you didn't want HIM sexually any more. till death do us part, that's a long time. sounded perfect when you took that oath , didn't it. you would have him all to yourself forever. hey guess what , it's gonna feel like forever too. good luck, I won't tell you to divorce him like you want to hear. you are punished by your sins not for them.
2006-06-06 23:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were young when you got married. You may need to step away (I'm not suggesting divorce) and let him do some growing up. You aren't his mother, you're his wife. Unfortunately, he sounds bad at managing money, so it should probably be up to you to manage the finances. At some point, he needs to grow up and be the man of the family though.
2006-06-06 23:07:47 · answer #5 · answered by np1 kenobi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't need him then. If u are so irritated with him that u don't want to have sex with him and he is not responsible enough to take care of the bills, let him know how u are feeling. Tell him if things does not change, he'll soon find himself single. Maybe that will open his eyes to how your feeling. Good Luck.
2006-06-06 23:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by angelalovin2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just answered your own question. But if you still think you can make a go of it, you are the one to handle the money and he is the one who gets a weekly allowance from you. If he doesn't like it, too bad, he knows where the door is. Be tough and firm my sister!
2006-06-06 23:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing you need to do is decide if your marriage is worth fighting for. If it is, do everything you can to keep it together. If that means you have to take control of the finances then you do that. If it means you have to keep your own private stash to make sure everything get paid, then do that. If that means you work two job, then do that. What ever you have to do then do it. IT WILL BE HARD to adjust to the new changes!!
2006-06-06 23:11:12 · answer #8 · answered by meek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well nothing worst than marrying someone who has no concept of financial management. it also a reflection of a irresponsible person in other aspect of life. Perhaps you should cut your losses and get out while you are still young enough to rebuilt. Perhaps next time think of prenup, not so much you refuse to share your wealth , rather refuse to bare the debt burden of another person.
2006-06-06 23:08:18 · answer #9 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you explain to him seriously your concerns and lay it all out on the line....if things don't change within a month, offer counseling....if that isn't an option, go to a divorce attorney. There is really nothing more you can do.
2006-06-06 23:23:17 · answer #10 · answered by s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋