Okay, my girlfriend is a grade lower than me and I'm in 9th grade in high school and her grandparents are making it nearly impossible for us to communicate. They ground her from the phone for no aparant reason and other stupid things like that. I know that most older people tell me I'm to young to be getting in a serious relationship but I am actually in love for once. Can someone please give me some advice, or tell me how I can keep in touch with her until high school?
2006-06-06 15:20:58 · 22 answers · asked by aaron z 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Her grandparents love her, too; and they know that these young romances often end in heartache. They may want to also be sure that she's not so wrapped up in you that she's neglecting her other responsibilities like school and chores. So recognize that they're just trying to protect her, and keep her focused on what she needs to learn to grow up into an independent adult. She needs to realize it, too. If either or both of you are disrespectful or rebellious, they will only tighten their grip.
Love is patient. True love can and will wait. You can send her cards and letters. Can she access the computer for Instant Messenger? Remember that they may check what you send to her in the mail and over the computer, so always be respectful and appropriate. And if you really love her, you'll also want what's best for her, so keep that in mind. Hang in there!
2006-06-06 15:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
older people ( I are one)don't know what to do about "today's youth" and worry that she might get pregnant or start taking drugs and stuff like that. Try to find ways to make them into friends. Offer to help with things - repairs, loading stuff, things that are hard for old folks to do. Help grandpa work on the car and be a good listener - help grandma put the groceries away - sweep the patio - stuff like that, you know what I mean. If they learn to like you, they won't be so worried. And, while you may be truly in love, you stll are too young to get into anything serious - child support as an example, is every month for eighteen years. If they see you as a serious person (who gets good grades) and is not just looking for sex with their darling, they may free up a little. She can help with this plan by doing the same thing - keeping her grades up, helping out more, etc. Also, try little daytime dates at the local drive in restaurant - not so threatening.
2006-06-06 22:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by casey54 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most grandparents or parents are the way they are due to trust or lack of it. Either they don't trust her or you or both of you. Seems to me you need to do some winning over of the grandparents trust of you or respect. How do you address them? How do you talk around them? How do you act around them. Maybe sometime if you offer to help the grandfather with the yard without any motive behind it. After a while I bet they will loosen up on letting you talk to her and maybe see her some but some people just will never yield from their fears and distrust. Working with them is far easier and better than working against them or sneaking around them. It takes longer but if she's worth it then the sacrifice you have to make to have them to start liking you or trusting you will be worth it. Remember you may just have to honestly ask them why do you not like me or trust me and look them in the eyes when you ask don't stand there looking at their feet. Grandparents and parents like someone that shows respect even if you don't really respect them. You have to earn trust it doesn't just come to you because you feel it should.
2006-06-06 22:28:16 · answer #3 · answered by alagk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I'm kinda with those people who say that you are kinda young-but I'm seeing how you feel...and I wanna give it a shot and help you out. First thing is to BE nice-if the g-parents see you're nice and not rude, they'll respect you. The second thing to do is to make sure your girl feels the same way you do...if she does then why not keep in touch with her on MySpace? MySpace is good. If that don't work and she can't do anything, write a note and give it to one of her friends who goes to her school. Maybe she can convince her grandparents to allow you to see her.
Gosh, I hope I helped, it must feel really sucky to not be able to see somebody you really care about. I hope that the grandparenst find some way to negociate with you...maybe you could see her twice a week and the g-parents and can stay near by until they trust. I really hope things get better for you. :)
2006-06-06 22:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her then youll be able to find a way trust me it just takes time and if you wait for her then and respect her grandparents decision then maybe theyll see that you really do want a serious relationship with her...if you feel doubts that you cant wait then maybe your not in love. another suggestion is to talk to her and just let her know that 5 years is a long time to wait and just experience with other girls to make sure shes the perfect one and when i say experience i dont mean go off and start having sex and being a man who*e..so good luck hope this helps...
2006-06-06 22:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by irene408729 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may seem like her Grandparents are being unreasonable but they probably just want what is best for her. They want her to stay focused on her studies and just being a 14 year old and they probably feel she is too young to get involved with a boy.
If you guys are really in love you will find a way to make it all work out trust me.
2006-06-06 22:23:25 · answer #6 · answered by geet840 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not gonna say anything about you being in-love...all im going to say is make sure you really know what LOVE is. also make sure she feels the same way. you cant control what her grandparents do so you have to make the best of things. now heres what you do. You find some friends that you both have (perferablly one of her girl friends) and get her to go and see a movie with them when actually she is going to the movie and seeing you there. i had to do this a couple times and it really works not to mention you can hang out there when the movie is over
2006-06-06 22:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by brent123443212003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like her Grands are raising her???
Maybe they are just concerned. Like she will be distracted from schoolwork or running with "Older" boys and get into bad habits.
If you could show that you're a good influence, you're in!
Like help with schoolwork, since you're a grade ahead it would be a great benifit for her. Also if she asked to do something she is already interestwd in and allowed to do, something they would concider wholesome.
If they think you're a trouble maker, smoker or huffer, or have more jewelry than Grandma then you're out like a fat boy in dodgeball.
2006-06-06 22:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by astroservus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to go some high school game (even though there isn't one) and have her meet you there at your school when there is " supposed to be a game going on" and have her tell her grandparents that she's going with some girlfriends. That's what i have done before, and it did work!
2006-06-06 22:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by Kayla M. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are NOT in love. You actually have to grow up a little to understand this, but there is a lot of growing you need to do before you can understand love.
Now, for your problem. This is tough, and I don't think there is going to be much luck with her grandparents. Eventually they are going to have to give in, but it isn't likely to happen for a few years until she at least a little older.
2006-06-06 22:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by 3 Card 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋