My friend is cheating on her husband, should I tell him?

Question

I'm not close with her husband, but I have talked with him on occasion. My friend has been cheating on him for over a few months now. The "other man" eventually stopped talking to her and she agreed she made a mistake by cheating and wouldn't do it again, but wouldn't you know, the man came back and now she's wanting him again. I've had enough. I've tried to be a good friend and tell her to not screw with this guy anymore, but she insists on it. Should I tell her husband? And if so, how should I do it? Should I talk to him face to face and risk him telling her I told him, or should I do it another way without identifying myself? He's already suspected that she's cheating, but he doesn't know for sure.

Answer 1

YES YES YES!!! He should know, I just found out that my wife was cheating on me while I was in Iraq, I found out by checking the cell phone bill then calling a couple of numbers. Thank God one of the guys had the heart to tell me the truth (he didn't know she was married). As to how to tell him that is difficult. If you tell him and he agrees not to tell her it still might come out in the anger when she lies to him about it. It would be best to do it without him knowing it was you telling him. If you have the man's name and telephone number then type it out and send a letter to the husband with no return address and with all the the information that he needs on it and just sign it a concerned friend. Look at it this way if the tables were turned and you were him you would want to know right.
And to all the people who say it isn't any of your business, that attitude is what makes this such a f-uped world. You have it in your power to prevent harm to another human being, the choice is simple. Personally I wouldn't want this woman as a friend, if she is willing to do that to her husband then imagine what she would do to you. She can not be trusted. Let the friendship go over time call her less and less, then she won't be suspicious that it was you that wrote him.

Answer 2

This is a hard place for you to be.I know if I had a friend doing this I would not approve of it.I'm not saying it is right to cheat but how does her husband really treat her.Sometimes someone could get treated so bad that they might turn to someone else.You said that she has done this more than once,and sometimes people do this for other reasons like needing more sex than they get at home.It's hard to say what is going on but the truth is she is married to her husband and shouldn't be doing what she is doing.I don't think I would want to get in the middle because she can make it look like you are trying to start trouble or anything,and now she's pregnant?I would feel torn too.How does she know for sure it is his baby?Maybe you would be better off finding something else to do besides hanging out with them.If you go to church ask the paster about all this and see what they recommend.Good luck.Deborah.

Answer 3

No, do not put yourself in the middle of this. If her husband suspects, he will find out. But don't let it be you that tells him. If it bothers you so much, I would end the friendship with her. Just tell her you don't approve of what she is doing and you would prefer not to be friends anymore. She should have never gotten you involved in the first place.

Answer 4

well you have to ask yourself the question. would you want some one to tell you? if yes, then what you can do is when all three of you are together ask your friend if there is anything she would like to tell her husband. if she says no then say do you want to tell him or should i? then of course the husband gets curious and he will ask . more likely than not she will confess right there because you put her on the spot. plus if she doesn't tell, she now knows that you will. she might be mad but everyone deserves the right to know if they are being cheated on. what they do with that information is up to them. at least they are aware.

good luck i hope i helped.

Answer 5

whew !!! poor you !! I am the type that would barge in a just tell it..... I have lived it !! I just get soooooo angry at the very thought of cheating wives and husbands.... in a way it is NOT your business but in another it is IF she has spoken to you about it.... she made it your business....... but, the thing to do would be to talk to her and tell her just how it is...... either she stops telling you about it and is more discreet or stops all together or hubby might just get a little note in the mail or on his car wind sheild...... uhg !!! it really makes me shudder to think about it.... if ya dont want to tell on her, and it really bothers you, she is NOT a real friend.......... so move on and let her pay the price...... He will find out and when he does he may confront you...... remove yourself from the situation or go for the gusto...... your choice...... God bless

Answer 6

No quite frankly it's none of your business. Especially since the husband and you are not friends therefore you are under no obligation to tell him anything. If you cannot see how telling him will actually help the matter then keep it to your self. These things usually come out eventually.

Answer 7

No, but you need to talk to your friend about it. Tell her that her husband will find out if she doesn't stop. Let her think you will tell him. She is a cheater and she will soon find someone else to cheat with. Find yourself a better class of friend. If she cheats on her husband, she will do something evil to a friend.

Answer 8

You should really stay out of it just so you wont be taking any blame for any future circumstances. But if you think that her husband should really know about it and do not care if your friendship with your friend gets screwed up, then go for it. Tell him about it and let him confront his wife regarding the matter.

Answer 9

I would not tell him, since he is not your friend and she is.

Just tell her that she means a lot to you but you can't stand her cheating on her husband. Tell her not to have those conversations with you. If she can not do that, then just distance yourself for awhile and wait until the truth comes out and this all blows over.

Answer 10

well if you tell be aware of some kind of repercussion. Tell your friend the boy or man in a private way maybe a phone call or letter . or if you know where they are you can tell him if he does not believe you. But prepare for some kinda explosion by her or him. think hard you will probably lose one of the friendships or both. Good Luck on this one.