I have tried to become less shy but it is easier said then done?

Question

I'm not shy around family members but at school i am and hate it. Also i feel that i am an outcast because at our school everyone parties and does crap i don't want to do. I also think i am shy because i run out of things to talk about.... have any ideas??? I also don't get shy around adults only teens

Also i am not at all confident of myself and think to much of what people think of me

Answer 1

i too am like that. in a group i have trouble talking. but one on one i could talk ur socks off. i have found the reason as to why i am like this and it stems back from when i 1st started school. at times i think to myself i'll get over it and i do and at times i retreat back to my shell. try and work out why u r shy. perhaps join a social club of some sort and interact with others who have same interests as u. or maybe get a part time job where u have to deal with people. maybe volunteer with the elderly. i am now 32 yrs old now so i do know it's hard. i got better by working with people. but at work i like to work alone, but i do have the occasional chat with my work mates. perhaps a self esteem course will help. hope u will overcome ur shyness.

Answer 2

When you are around other teens, you don't have to become the center of attention to fit in.

I see kids all the time trying so hard to be the coolest, most accepted one of the group. Often that means trying to one-up the others with a more outrageous statement or behavior. It's like watching a judo match - each kid trying to get on top and use leverage on the others.

But there are also kids who are kind, friendly and quiet. They may not ever be the leader-of-the-moment, but the other kids respect them. No need to be miss goody-two-shoes and make negative judgments. If there's something going on that you can't approve of, don't make editorial comments. just find something else that you suddenly have to do.

Otherwise, just be a good friend, listen real hard and ask questions as your contribution to the dialog of the moment. Questions will INVOLVE others; statements often OBSTRUCT others. Leave the breathless gossip and outrageous behavior to the "alpha-teens".

That's not you.

Answer 3

you think therefore you are. you are making excuses for being the way you view yourself. most of your dorkiness comes from what you learned as a child, someone pumped that crap in your head, maybe one day you were feeling bad and good ole mom says, don't mind her, she is shy. bang, you are phucked for life, you believed it. now it's a crutch. pick the lamest person at your school, it doesn't matter that you think you are better than they are and talk to them, you won't be intimidated by them, they are lame, everyone knows this. see if you run out of things to talk about, good ole mom probably does all the talking too. you have learned to shut up and give everyone else the floor. like the shyt they have to ramble on is more important. every time you say you are an outcast , you solidify that concept, STFU, don't say that shyt any more. kids can be brutal in school. learn to be brutal back, not everyone will like you . that's a given. but the ones that do wil admire you for being a stand up person and not a whiney a'ss lil bytch trying to manipulate them to believe you are lil miss perfect. you aren't perfect but you are all you have got, be satisfied with you. be thankful to be you. you have an image in your head that people see you a certain way and you are afraid to shatter that image. phuck it , break out of your shell.

Answer 4

Just to say, i'm kinda like that too. I hated my self for being like this but i try to improve. Stop thinking of what other people think about you. If you dont want to do something, dont do it. Dont feel like an outcast just because you dont do the stuff other people do. Be confident and have fun being yourself ( i know it is easier said then done. Just try it)

Answer 5

i think it could be a fear of rejection that all teens face at your age it is nomal it is just that some can deal with it better than others that dont make you abnormal or anything it is just a part of who you are . be proud of who you are. it will help you out one day. it may be a social curse right now to you but trust me it could be a blessing in disguise and as far as the partying crap goes so what if you choose not to party some people dont enjoy a bunch of teens jumping around making an *** of themselves that actually makes you a bit more mature than your peers niot a freak. just be proud of who you are and who knows one day you may turn into a social butterfly. watch that movie 13 going on 30 its pretty good and somewhat accurate with alot of females. and hey good luck.

Answer 6

start looking for people more matcher then the teens
study and become something with all of that free time
look at coffee shops people with there head on there shoulders
smile
find jokes of the web - everyone likes some one if they are making them laugh at lest once a day
don't be shy stick out there like a soar thumb
people will notice you
in stead of waiting to do some thing get up and find something for everyone

don't worry be happy

Answer 7

well you just have to find yourself and be at peace with who you are. understand that ok so they party but i don't have to do that if i don't want to. you are a person too, don't be afraid to talk to new people because even if they don't like you or whatever you can always talk to someone else. be proud of yourself for who you are don't let others control how you feel about yourself. people like to be aroud people who do their own thing, so if youshow your personality people will accept you.

as far as running out of this to talk about you just gotta kep your mind running. don't be afraid to talk about things that pop into your head. if you can't think of anything to say look around and try to see if anything in the room strikes a match.

Answer 8

i am the same way two just talk to ur friends and be nice a lot and smile,if people make fun of u because ur shy then thats there problem sorry that ur shy but i am the same way and i hate it. good luck

Answer 9

try to be extremely friendly to everyone... say hi to people.. smile when u walk down the hall... sit at a new lunch table... talk to people who look friendly.. and just be yourself... if someone doesnt like you.. you cant help it.. thats their problem... be confident... if someone see's you and you look scared or shy.. the most likely wont talk to you... but if ur laughing and having a good time.. and smiling you look more like a fun person to be around... be interjetic (sp)... just give it a try.. ; )

Answer 10

in ways i can rlate you just have to understand that you are limitless and can break away from old patteerns find people your age you are comfortable hanging out with and do the impossible the opposite of the hidden you. life is to be lived to your best ablities and talents, so dream the invisible and speak thoes things as thou they are