how do i make him understand?

Question

my boyfriend had a really bad realtionship...that lasted a couple years in those years the girl made his life hell.. and forced him into doing alot of things to "prove his love' and no mater how hard he tryed to prove his love.. he still was cheated on...and hurt.. SO my problem now i get NOTHING.. sure i got cards and stuff on special ocasions.. but do you think i could get a jewelery?!?! nooooooo..because aparntly he spend over 1000 dollars on jewelery for this girl and she left..1000 DOLLARS!! im just asking for like 95 dollar ring for are one years so thta i can feel like he actualy cares about me even a fraction of the amount he had for her when he got her those things.. just makes me feel like even though she made his life hell.. he loved her more then me....

first of all.. i never asked him for the jewelery,.. he justmentioned that once when we were looking at some ..sort of like a .. just so you know your never gonna get any..and i think ive proved 100 times over that im not in it for things like that,... i just wish that he would care enough to want to do something like that for me... you know what i mean..

Answer 1

Give the man some time.
he only needs to trust you. He feels like he could go through hell again to try and feel the best thing in the world. You need to prove to him that you really care and you are not like this other girl. Do the things you want out of him and I can promise you everything will fall into place.

Answer 2

yep i know what you mean girly, the thing is, your trying to prove to him that you love him in a way that she never did, and for some reason you dont think he understands that, i think your worried about him still caring about her in some way. Ask him how he feels about you, actually to me the way i see it, if you two had a good communication you wouldnt be having any question about how much he cares about you. I think your relationship needs some work. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel. Before you know it, those little thoughts of yours are gonna take over, and eventually you want be able to trust him. And you can remind him, he made you feel this way, if he hadnt of been talking about her all the time and telling you what all he did for her you wouldnt be having these thoughts, so he's part to blame too for not keeping the past to himself. Am i right?

Answer 3

Pumpkin, you need to empathize with him.
He has been cheated!!!
I think you need to give him time.
The Key here is 'Patience'.
If you love him and he loves you, then a ring should not really be what you should be bothered about. Sure, a ring would mean that he is yours and you, his; but then there is something even more intrinsic, like your relationship!! I am sure you sound like a reasonable person who would understand where I am coming from.
Let time heal his wounds and I bet he would start showering gifts on you. He just wants to make sure he does not make the same mistake twice, thats all. He is been careful, cautious but dont rush him, because that is like 'deja vu' for him.
Shower gifts on him. He will appreciate it. And he will realise that you are different from the previous lady.
All the best and let us know how you are doing!!
Cheers!!

Answer 4

i really do feel for you. and him. i think that you should use your voice and just tell him. dont tell him "HEY I WANT A RING TOO!" since that may seem selfish, and thats probably the reason you've been holding back for so long, but just tell him in a nice way... maybe hint that you like jewelery and you like to wear it. also assure him that he is special to you and that hes already proved his love to you by spending this long with you. tell him how you feel about him and his old girlfriend. make sure he knows that you feel for him in the fact that he shouldnt have had to do anything to prove his love to this girl, but also tell him that he has to move on from this girl, because you feel like his old relationship is hurting yours now.

Answer 5

OK... I've been there... Do you REALLY need that jewerly? If you do, then you picked the wrong guy. Love isn't proved by buying expensive jewels, it's showcased with affection, sharing, listening.
It'd probably mean more if he baked you something, or took you to a restaurant you like, wouldn't it? If things do work out between you both, then someday he might be ready to give you something more expensive like a jewel...

Cynthia

Answer 6

Aren't you asking the same thing of him? To prove his love by spending money on you?

Maybe he knows that this love is for real and he doesn't have to do all those silly things to "prove" it.

Money does NOT equal love. If he gives freely from his heart, that's what matters.

Answer 7

well, thats sad....but maybe you two shouldn't be together if he's still caught on that other girl. i know it'll be tough to let go of him if you really love him, but we wouldn't want you to get hurt now would we? ask him how he really feels about you.

or maybe just be a lil more considerate. maybe he doesn't want to get hurt by you too cause he figures that what he did w/ one girl (and it didn't work out) won't work out w/ another girl either. show him that you love him more than he thinks, and ask him if he feels the same.

Answer 8

Apparently this sounds like you are jealous of the girl cause she used him to get what she wants. I have dated my bf for a year and he hasnt gotten me any jewlery and i really dont care as long as he loves me and remembers that. Remember this, she used him to get what she wanted, she didnt love him. Stop being greedy.

Answer 9

I would give him time and I would show him how much he means to you because he probably thinks you are just messing with him to get stuff out of him, I would appreciate him and show him my feelings for him

Answer 10

let him know exactly how you feel and be more polite or he will think you're only with him because of the gifts you can get from him