Do you think its ever acceptable to strike a child that is being bad?

Question

Recent events have made it impossible to get my son to listen to me. he's becoming more headstrong and talking back. slamming doors. Time outs just don't seem to work. and gronding is ineffective. I find myself getting furious sometimes.

I'm a widowed mother of a 12 yrs old. I've been trying to be more of a parent and set limits for my son but of late that hasn't gone over well with him and he is rebelling. He now starting to talk back to me and treats me like an equal. Saying cruel things at times. I took away his computer for looking at porn and he is livid that i refuse to return it.

He even came in my room while I was dressing to yell at me. I really don't know what to do. Non of the non violence approaches to discipline work. Should I hit him. Let him know I'm not fooling around.

Answer 1

please don't hit him :( i know we can be hard to control sometimes but hitting him will just make it worse (well it did me)
i was 12 when my mom hit me for the first time, i was talking back at her, that's why she did it but it made me so angry and sad. it made me want nothing to do with her. her hitting me made me think that she did not love me, why would my mom hit me if she really loved me?

try and talk to him, thats all i needed when i was like that, i just needed some one to talk to.
when you hit you kid it makes them feel worthless. if you love your son don't hit him. hes not an animal, hes old enough to know what hes doing is wrong. maybe he just wants attention or maybe he just needs sometime to his self. idk

oh and the cryingEmoboy is right too.

Answer 2

There isn't a right or wrong answer to this. Some people have opinions that hitting a child is the only way to get him to learn, some others think that cruel and crazy.
In my opinion, your son does seem to get out of hand. And with the things that you have done, I think hitting/caning him might be the only way. But when you do that, you need to make sure he understands why he is getting punished for what he's done. If not he'll never learn. Do not hit/cane him when you are angry at "full force". If you do that, you wouldn't know your limit or strength that you are hitting him. That might hurt him.
Take some time, breath a little before punishing him.

Answer 3

People we are not talking about beating here, relax!!

I agree a little tough love is not a bad thing, the sad part is it is to late for you. 12 is a hard age to deal with. I was taught at a young age that thing are the way they are and if you don't like it tough ****. This weak bull **** with the time outs and all that other jazz is the reason that young kids don't get it. When ever thing is given to you you tend to lack respect. I worked for everything I have and I respect it. That is how it was for me and I feel it made me a better person, I love my parents to this day. It comes down to respect and if there is no respect then it is over. My parents don't even need to say it I just know when they are upset with me, and that is the way it should be.

So hitting your boy is not going to do **** at this point, sorry to say. You just waited to long and if you hit him it is going to be taken the wrong way. Good luck with whatever you choose. I wish I could be more help

Answer 4

No I do not think that it is acceptable for the parent to hit their children when they are acting bad. It only drives the child to act more violent than ever and I am sure that you do not want that. The punishment that is appropriate for this is to take the freedoms away. Teens and children seem to calm down more when they suddenly do not have the chance to do what they like to do anymore. When there are times when your child is treating you like sh*t, you should never ever resort to violence. EVER. It really damages the relationship that you have with your child even more. If this problem progresses for the worse then you need to bring in the authorities or a higher male figure whom he respects. Those choices will possibly change him for the better.

Answer 5

It depends on what you mean by strike? In todays society spanking your child is thought of as morally wrong. There is a difference between striking and spanking! Parents are afraid to spank their children nowadays because of the repercussions. Will the school think I'm beating my child if my child says I spank them? If I take my child to the hospital will they think I beat my child if my child says I spank them? If you do not spank your child to the point of beating then it should not be wrong. When I was a child I had the fear of being spanked (not beaten) if I did something very wrong. We still had paddling in school. That was a definite bad behavior deterent!!!! Children will show bad behavior if there is no real punishment. If you send your child to their room is that really a punishment if they have a phone, cable T.V., A DVD player, video games, Ipods, or a computer in there? I don't have to spank my children, just the threat of doing it is enough for them!

Answer 6

No, I really don't. There are other ways to deal with children. I know there were times I felt like swatting them, but I didn't. Now I'm glad that I didn't. Good luck.

Answer 7

Hell no it is never right u should let the kid hit u my lil bro learn that way it is crule to hit ur kid trust me i was hit i was abused by my father it will scare u for life it will make the kid mess up all his life

Answer 8

YES!!!! As long as you do it with an open hand on the clothed butt. I always give hugs and kisses later, and make sure they understand why.

Answer 9

of course. But as long as the kid knows why he is being hit, and not out of your own frustration

Answer 10

Yes - it sounds as though you need to get a proper paddle and use it.