Is it possible that gay people are less accepting than others?

Question

HEAR ME OUT

There was a woman on Dr. Phil today who was mad at her family. They were devote christians and she was gay. They believed that what she did was wrong. She was mad at them for not changing their views and voting for gay marriage.

As Gays we often say that we are more accepting than others. But isn't it worse to ask someone else to change what they believe for you? People say it is our choice to be gay. (IT'S NOT) But wouldit be fair to ask us to change that?

Which is worse, someone who isn't gay and won't change you accomidate you, or someone who is gay and insists on everyone changing for them?

Answer 1

I think that you make some good points. Tolerance is not just for others so that we can do what we feel like doing without criticism. Racism is not just an affliction of white people. Sexism is not something peculiar to men. Discrimination based on religion is not just practiced by the religious. No one is immune to being less accepting and being judgmental, even gay people.

Answer 2

I don't think every gay person is tolerant, I know a lesbian who is dead-set against interracial relationship. I don;t understand this, but... I on the other hand don;t judge anyone on anything other than how they treat their fellow man.

I think that the girl is probably scared and frustrated. Here are people she loves, telling her what she's doing is an abomination and that she will brun in hell etc.

I talk to people often about religon and their view on homosexuality and I don;t get offended by people who are opposed to it. I do try to show them the truth, that God created us all...to answer a question in one of these answers...I do read the bible and have very strong spiritual beliefs. I am also a lesbian. I am also a child of God.

I think people's use of the bible as a tool to breed intolerance is sad, and I pray for them daily. For more info on that I'm providing a link.

Intolerance and prejudice corsses all boundaries, borders and finds a way into all groups of all people. Just don;t become one of them.

Answer 3

you sound very self-actualized....I am straight, but I know the gays have been so discriminated against so long like lepers, that's it's natural that some gays have had a tendency to swing the pendelum radically the other way...& in fact, there is still a HUGE part of the population who judges the Gay community severly. It is very hard to rock the perverbial "boat". I am a sufferer of a Mental Illness & can relate to the attitude of your fellow gays....it's mainly just a frustration that the mainstream refuses to educate themselves & make an effort to open their minds thereof....yes, maybe they/we are a little pushy, & in actuality, we should make peace that the only ones we can change is ourselves, accept others for their imperfections [ignorance] & make peace with it ourselves....we'll be doing ourselves a big favor in doing so, if you catch my drift.♥

Answer 4

I completely agree with you, I was raised to hate homosexuals and I changed that about me. However, I still feel that homosexuality is wrong because of my religion. Every time I state that in an answer or something, I get attacked verbally. Yes, it is possible that some gay people are less accepting of others, but not all.

Answer 5

I think the dividing line for me is between "tolerance" and "acceptance." Its funny, because as passionately as I might feel about some issues like abortion or immigration, I don't dislike people who think differently. It rarily bothers me at all, and if it does its a small blip; they've had different experiences than I've had. But when it comes to this, I get really hurt and mad. I don't want to be just "tolerated" when I haven't done anything wrong. Sure, maybe some see that as acting out or misdirected anger. But when a lot of issues are important to me, and this is the only one out of the pile that makes no rational sense to me, that tells me something.

Part of that reason is another dividing line: the "not in my backyard" belief. My mom's in theater, for crying out loud. My family loves LGBT folks and never saw an iota wrong with it. Until I came out. Then it was just years of fighting.

They called me things that my parents had always taught me no parent should ever say to gay people. They found god and tried an intervention. And after calming down, convincing me heartfelt to move back in with them in the efforts of saving money for my gender reassignment, I thought everything was back to normal. I was wrong...really, really wrong. They told me almost immediately that I'd have to move out unless I "stopped liking guys and changed back." (And right after I gave up my apartment, doh.) I left. They disowned me. When I got the government forms to change my name and gender, my folks didn't allow me to keep my last name.

Yes, that's a horrible story, I know. I'm not looking for pity, its years in the past. I'm just trying to give an average example of what happens on so called tolerance. These days things seem like everything is back to normal. They're distraught over the fights and feel just horrible. They are now accepting. That's true, and I feel bad for it. But its not back to normal, and it never will be. There's a trust that's gone and a closeness that's forever distant now. My friends from before were basically the same.

They tolerated me, they just didn't accept me. They did the best they could.

It wasn't good enough for me, and its still not. I left. I can't say that I cut them off, since they'd pretty much already done that, but I walked away from what little was left. It wasn't healthy to stay. It wasn't healthy, maybe, to tolerate that.

So I think it maybe depends on the issue. Most LGBT folks are so live and let live, since you kinda have to be, that they're cool with pretty much anything. I only ever see us get livid over a handful of arguments. From my experience, those have all been civil rights for all the different kinds of people in the world. The rainbow flag isn't just about us, or we would have made it just one color. Probably something tart but never precocious. Perhaps something in a chartreuse.

If they don't change, there's nothing you can do about it. It hurts. But the "stay and make things right" argument only holds water if there's going to be some concession somewhere along the line. I don't even darkly "tolerate" differing views on abortion, I just disagree with them. I don't think they're scum for having them, not by a long shot. I think we deserve the same fair shake.

Answer 6

Its not about changing who you are or changing what you believe to accommodate someone else . Its about tolerance and acceptance . The Christan view point is that we choose a deviant life style and we are outcast of society and living outside the will of God . Therefore they feel it is their duty to place judgment on us for our sins . I could care less if the they change their view point on my life style or their feeling about homosexuality . I do however demand that they acknowledge my right to exist and tolerate my rights as a human being and a tax payer . All I want and anyone wants is equal representation and rights under the law . If I am required by law to pay taxes then I am entitled to the same rights as all Americans under the Constitution . That's all I am asking or anyone is asking .

Answer 7

Well, I won't touch on the sexuality part of this because I am married to a man. But, I have found little tolerance in the gay community. Either it's me something I don't understand. Tolerance isn't in The Bible. If there are references, it's God's love for us. I suppose it could be said that God tolerates US. Maybe none of us are truly tolerant because, if so, how do we then explain the Human Condition?

Answer 8

Are you serious?? The way that people treat us isn't that nice all the time. It's only natural that after awhile gay people are gonna want others to change. I know that my life as a bisexual is NOT a phase and I am tired of people wanting me to change.
Either accept the way that GLBTQ people are or just SHUT THE HELL UP!!

Answer 9

I saw the family that was on Dr Phil's show today. I don't dislike gays but I don't agree with their life styles. I have meet some gay people that has the most sweetest attitudes and it isn't nothing that they won't do for you. But truth is truth, reality is reality and we can't reroute God's purpose for making man and woman. Do any gay person ever read the bible and study it any more or do they care to do so because they are afraid of what they may find in the bible of what God says about gays and the unnatural state. Do they beleive in God? Do they beleive that what he says goes? As for the young man, out of all respect, please don't give up on God for your deliverance because God makes no mistakes. We are the one's that are failing in our prayers and our faith. We even get impatient with God. We put the problems in his hands and we go back and snatch the problems out of his hands before he even delivers us. You might of been that close to your deliverance and somewhere Satan had put a sinful thought in your mind and took over your imagination and somewhere along the way you failed God in those 15 yrs of praying. You see, God knows every man's heart and he knows if you are kind of wavery with your prayers. A part of you maybe wanted to stay in that shape and a part of you wanted help. God can't work in those kind of conditions. God don't hear a sinners prayer for he blinks his eye at sin. But he do hear a repenting sinners prayer. If you are not spiritual then how would you know the things of God and how can he open up any mysteries to you? I f the gay people would study the bible then they will realize that they didn't create themselves and they are not authorized to change their image regardless of their strong desires, cravings, emotions etc. The word also says that in the last days, in which we are in the last days, man will see right as wrong and wrong as right. Now that the gays are out of the closet do that mean that they have tied, binded up God and truth and shoved him in the closet? May God forbid! God made man for woman and woman for man. How can a woman and a woman replenish the earth or how can a man and a man replenish the earth just as God instructed us to do? If everyone would turn gay on this earth then that would be the end of his creation and his pupose. No more children would be born. Everyone would die from old age, sickness etc. God would see no need for this world to continue on and he would quickly destroy it. His ways aren't our ways, neither is his thoughts our thoughts. So we shouldn't try to reprogram his plans because we are born in sin with many afflictions but to pray that God will deliver us out of them all and be made perfect!

Answer 10

i think this person more wanted her family to support her rights, think about it, if your own family voted against your right to marry the person you loved, wouldn't you be extremely hurt? i think that even if you try to be accepting of everyone, you can't help being hurt and angry when you come across injustice. and as far as your question goes, i don't think it is really a matter of people changing to accommodate people, it is more a question of people just not getting in your way to happiness and freedom. i mean, when it comes down to it, i as a strait woman really would not be affected in any way by gay people marrying each other, so i am not going to stop them. if i chose to support them, it is mainly because i they are people and they are entitled to the same rights as everyone else.