I know that to some of you this is something that just happens. And I don't know why the thought of my dad no longer be the main priority in my life scares me. Right now I can honestly say that my dad is the most important person in my life. When I look at my grandparents or anybody's it's like everyday they matter less and less. Not that they're abandoned but they just don't get what they deserve. Then it hits me that one day my dad could be in that position and it makes me want to cry. I don't want that to happen I don't want to do that to my dad.
Is this natural? Does it have to happen? My main goal is when I have a job I will try to save as much money as I can so my dad won't have to work so hard and I'll be able to take care of him. I won't even think about marriage or kids until I can give my dad a home and be sure that he lives comfortably. I feel like that's the least I can give him after everything he's done for me.
2006-06-06 11:52:25 · 10 answers · asked by Coco 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
What you are feeling is very admirable. You Father brought you up well. He taught you love, respect, and for most, not to be selfish. Your Dad did his job. When you start a family, you will follow his example and you too, will do your job. For now, don't worry about loving your Dad less, and lossing the sight of priority in regards of your first family. At this point your priorities are in check. Its normal to want to take care of those that take care of us. In time when you find the man you love and get married, and start your own family, your life will adjust your feelings. This too, is normal. Your Dad did the same thing when he married and started his family. By continuing to follow his examples of love and respect you too will make the needed adjustments necessary at that time. You will always love your Dad! And I have no doubt you will take care of him, if need be. But as a parent, it is very important for us, to see our children, continue their journey in life as God intended it. Which means leaving the nest, and concentrate on building your own nest. When this cycle completes its self, we as parents feel that we have done our job well. You will never lose sight of the positive importance that your Dad did for you. It doesn't mean that you will love your Dad any less when your time comes to start a family. You will actually love and appreciate him more, because you will understand "why" he did the things that he did. And by following his examples he will be even prouder of who you become.
2006-06-06 15:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad isn't your responsibility and I'm sure he would want you to continue to live your life and not revolving around him. I'm sure your Dad wants to see you get married, have kids, and be happy. If you are busy trying to take care of him it might be hard for you to do those things. Your Dad's job was to raise you, it's not your job to parent your Dad.
Just because you get married doesn't mean you are going to love your Dad any less - in fact you will probably love him more. You will realize how he sacrificed for you as a parent when you have your own kids. You will still be as close as you want with your Dad- and he will have the joy of a son in law and grandkids.
Continue living your life, and just be aware that your Dad might not need you as much as he thinks you do. The fact that you care so much about his well being shows that you will be there for him no matter what, and I'm sure that means the world to him.
2006-06-06 11:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definately admire your dedication. Ive been married for 5 years and I do not love my parents any differently than I did before. I love them both tremendously, but your relationship changes a little in the fact that some areas of your life will be private, between you and your spouse. Just make sure when you do decide to get married that your spouse understands this. Marry someone with the same family values that you have. If not, you may run into some conflict down the path. Good luck.
2006-06-06 15:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While that is what you want, maybe you should think about what your dad wants. I suspect he would rather see you with a family of your own than worrying about him. All relationships change over time, we just have to realize this is part of life. Just because you get married and have kids doesn't mean you love your parents less, just that they are a lower priority. That is how life is and how it should be. Respect and love your parents but remember that for them to feel successful in life they need you to have a happy family of your own.
2006-06-06 12:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to follow that when you get married and have kids of your own, you will love your father less. They are different individuals who deserve different kinds of love. You cannot and should not in any manner compare the love that you will have for your future spouse and kids with the love that you always have for your father. Don't be scared for there'snothing to be scared about. You are right to save money but not only for your daddy but you should also save for your future.
I would say that your father would be very happy to know that you have that great love for him. Building him a home could really be one of the greatest gifts you could give him. It's even possible that that home will be your dad's home with you and his grandchildren. If that happens, you will not worry too much about him. If you would not want your future family to live with your dad for privacy reason, why not think of getting a house near your father's? And remember, I don't think that your father will feel miserable when you want to make a family of your own. Who would not want to see your family grow and have wonderful grandchildren? It's not the loving for your father that will be lesser when you raise your own family, it's your time for him that will be. But you can spend quality time with him if you'll only know how to manage your time. Your great love for him will always be there in your heart and mind, no less but even more, each day because you already have imbedded it deeply in your very being. Love runs deep and forever.
2006-06-06 12:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love my father too much, just as you described. Eventhough i got married and have a son i still love my father same. I take care of him and my mother eventhough they are still strong. Just when my son was born i realized what my mother did for me and now i understand her better.. as i told you i love them more. Sometimes i dont have enought time for them since i have to take care of my son but i am always there for them when they need me. Don't be scared, you will always love you father no matter if you get married or no. Also he will be more happy when he will have chance to play with your kids and love them as he loved you. My parents are so happy about my son and they love him so much..Good Luck.
2006-06-06 19:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Sara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love your parents less when you get married. You priorities may change, but you still love your parents. Your parents helped shape who you are. You still love them, and may find that as you get older you miss them. I know sometimes i wish I could just go home to my parents. So you see you are never to old to love and want your parents.
2006-06-06 11:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it just makes you realize how much your parents really have or have not done for you over your childhood years.
2006-06-06 15:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by Sora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents taught you the meaning of the word love...if your love for your parents is diminishing then some day your love for your husband and children will in the future.
2006-06-06 11:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by rubi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS ONLY MAKES YOU LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR PARENTS ALOT MORE....
2006-06-06 11:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by BAG LADY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋